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Dealing w/ a Bipolar Husband

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Okay, so I haven't read through any other posts on here, and my questions may be answered there. Well, really I'm just looking for support. I'm absolutely convinced that my husband is bipolar. We don't know for sure because right now our insurance won't cover any psychiatric care and before we had insurance, he refused any help. Anyway, at times (well, most of the time) he is extremely irritable. It takes absolutely nothing to set him off...he just wakes up a grump. He's uncontrollable, disrespectful, embarrassing (when he goes off on complete strangers for no reason), hurtful, and borderline abusive. (He's never hit me, but I honestly wouldn't put it past him.) He's very emotionally disconnected. He's never open to talk about feelings, receive feelings, give feelings, nothing... But at times (rarely), he's completely the opposite. He's charming, sweet, considerate, loving, the perfect husband. But this is so rare! I've known him my whole life (he's my best friend's brother, lol) and he's always been this way, but it really peaked after his mother passed away, and he's the one who found her dead in a horrific situation. In a way, I kind of don't blame him for the way he acts at times. Life has been unkind to him. BUT, nobody's life is perfect! My main issue is that we have an almost 2 year old son. I absolutely DO NOT want him growing up thinking that the way his daddy acts is the way men are supposed to act. My husband is disrespectful 75% of the time, and that's just not okay with me for my son to see. I'm really stuck with trying to figure out how to cope with this situation and make it better. Medicine would help him, but we can't even consider that until August. Any suggestions???!!! I really am at a loss. I believe marriage is forever, but I also believe in being a good person, and when my husband is in one of his "moods", he is not a good person. Any advice is greatly appreciated!!
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First Helper User Profile teal77
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replied January 25th, 2012
Its an urgent need that he needs medication and things like insurance delay should not be appreciated because the more you leave him non-medicated the higher the risks that he loses his job, harms himself, and other irreparable problems.Mood variations are caused only by chemical changes in his brain and unfortunately there is nothing you or he can do to control it.Shortly said his brain is dangerously ill on which delayed treatment maybe harmful.You may seek your friends and relations for financial support.
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replied February 18th, 2012
Yes don't waste time because of insurance, do it NOW!
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replied April 6th, 2012
you can go to any website to look at the signs for bipolar I, and II.
i am bipolar II and it took 3 years to get my meds right and i take celexa and seroquel and it get rid of my moodiness and depression. my meds are very cheap $15. research those free studies that treat people for free w/ free meds. cns.com
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replied April 6th, 2012
you can go to any website to look at the signs for bipolar I, and II.
i am bipolar II and it took 3 years to get my meds right and i take celexa and seroquel and it get rid of my moodiness and depression. my meds are very cheap $15. research those free studies that treat people for free w/ free meds. cns.com
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replied April 12th, 2012
I wouldn't be too quick to self-diagnose him with bipolar. That's a doctor's job.

There are all kinds of issues that can cause what you are describing, including but not limited to:
Bacterial infection which affects the brain (west nile, sepsis due to UTI etc)
a lot of physical pain (been here and been nasty because of it)
some trauma that occurred in the past that is only now coming to the surface (abuse by adults as a child etc)
anger management issues
drug abuse
a lot of stress
bipolar
PTSD

Some are life threatening if not treated. He needs to see someone and get real help, for his family's sake.

Only a trained professional can distinguish, with any certainty, what the real issue is that is affecting him. Even people with PhDs are sometimes wrong. For you and I it's like throwing a dart at a wall full of sticky-notes with diseases on them, with our eyes closed. The chances we are right are pretty remote since a lot of mental diseases have very similar symptoms.

I've been in your shoes. I thought it was drug abuse. ER doctors thought it was drug abuse. Turned out we were all wrong and drug abuse was just a comorbid issue with a much more serious psychiatric disease.

The doctors didn't figure out what it really was til she was in a controlled environment on antipsychotics for 4 weeks. When they realized it was something deeper than drug induced psychosis, it took almost 2 weeks of EEGs to figure out what the real problem was.

Bipolar I and/or manic delirium being confused with schizophrenia or even drug induced psychosis is just one example. In this case the symptoms can be identical, the only way to really know if it's manic delirium for sure is to do EEG's over a period of time.

This expense and amount of time it takes is why a lot of people with manic delirium are slapped with a schizophrenia label and sent on their way. Often this happens to people in poor social classes.

I'm not minimizing what you are experiencing, I'm sure it's bad or you wouldn't be here, but for him to get a proper diagnosis and get help he needs to be evaluated by someone trained to do this stuff.

Psychiatry is _really_ complex, misunderstood and confusing, even by psychiatrists Wink Even they don't always get it right the first time.
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replied August 6th, 2012
Guys, I read all of your replies months ago but I just now figured out my old password/email combination to be able to reply to you all. Just as an update, we're still stuck in the same situation, but I have convinced him to speak with a psychologist so we can *fingers crossed* get to the bottom of these issues!
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replied August 13th, 2012
common bipolar disorders include:

1 Sensation impossible, sad, or vacant.
2 Irritability
3 Lack of ability to experience pleasure
4 Exhaustion or loss of energy
5 Psychological and physical sluggishness
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