Single Parents Forum - Deadbeat Dad comes back

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Q: Deadbeat Dad comes back

asked by: allaboutjolie on May 1st, 2009

New User

i was wondering if anyone can help me with this - been in the same situation...when my son was born his father was the proud peacock, doting dad..2 months later he reunited with his ex-gf and lost interesting..my son is now 3 years old and his father says he has changed, got his life together and wants his son to now be a part of it..he has been making an effort to pay child support(he is out of job) and we have been communicating...he says after he makes consistent child support payments he would like to talk to me about visitation...here's where my problem lies: what should my son call him? my worry is that he will be around for 6months my son will get used to him, start calling him Daddy, and then poof he abandons him again and my son will be stuck missing his "daddy" and grow up with the pain inside his father doesnt love him, doesnt want him, etc etc...maybe after he has proven he is going to be a good dad then he can be called dad but this soon in the game i dunno...so this is my dilemma...what should my son call his deadbeat dad? PLEASE SOME HELP!

Replies(5)

ServiceU

replied on June 11th, 2009

Supporter

wow!!!
i would want to protect my child from him. you son is three years old and you might have to explain to him that this is his dad.
my son's father was there when he wanted to be, and MIA when he had problems in his love life. he would always bring my son back sick and would loose his medicine. he really put me through something.
my son is now 13 years old and he thinks his sometimey dad is superman.
he could pay for child support and ask for custody if he wanted to. i was told that if they dont pay child support they can still ask for custody.
i would call him pop.
you have to sit down and talk to this guy and tell him how you feel. it is such a shame for him to do this. and i understand how you feel.

Dr. Peter Hill , MD

replied on June 17th, 2009

He should call him what he is, DAD.

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shubh

replied on August 11th, 2009

New User

Try to find out, what are his intentions behind coming back to you after three yrs. Ask him to give you some time to think and decide about living together. His attitude during this period will tell you about the changes, he is claiming.

ServiceU

replied on August 11th, 2009

Supporter

easier said than done doctor!!!
my dead beat child's dad came back. actually we moved out of state and lost contact because my son's father cant keep a permanent resident or cell phone.
prior to us leaving, he only seen or called my son twice in one year, twice the year before, and no times the year before that. when he was younger he would get him one month out of the summer.
my son is now 13 years old and i had to comfort him when he was hurt, upset, angry, had an attitude with me because of his father.
now we got in contact with him and i have an attitude. i even prayed about the situation. he is promising my son all these things, and i know he's going to break them and i have to comfort him when he's hurt.
we did so much better without him. but my son is 13 years old and he will figure it out for himself.
it's not my son's fault, i shouldve used a condom. lol
or atlease pick a better man to be his father.

mindyaw

replied on August 26th, 2009

New User

same situation

the info from allaboutjolie is dead on for me. i asked my ex husband to let my 2 1/2 yr old daughter to call her my friend & his arrogantness said that would be a lie. you earn being a daddy, & he has not yet. i get no child support & he hasn't worked for at least a year. now he wants to see her & introduce her to his whole family, i told him that would overwhelm her & that they should do something to meet & enjoy eachother. we won't see eye to eye that is why we divorced, i did tell him if he lets her know & reconize her as her daddy & bails i will never forgive him & if he breaks her heart i will never want to talk to him besides being strictly civil in any other visits. we'll see if he cares this weekend.

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