You should not blame yourself. Never blame yourself. If it is because she is bullied in school, it's the bullies you should blame.

The thing you can do, as I can see it, is merely presenting these things you heard from the doctor to her (if she hadn't already heard them) in a very calm way. Not accusing her of anything, and never force her to eat (well, obviously she does eat but throws it up). She knows that she should be eating, common knowledge is that bodies malfunction without nourishment, but I think that she feels a bit like I do myself (I'm disgusted by food and the thought of eating it).

Have you tried to talk to her? I mean, -really- tried?

Let her tell you her story. Ask her what the reason is that she throws up what she's eaten.

Not;
"But dear Emily, why? WHY are you doing this?! Tell me!"

But more like;
"Hey sweety, how are you feeling? Have you eaten anything today? No? Why not? Care to tell me?"

Don't push her into telling you. Let her tell you when she can. If you push her, she'll feel more guilty and maybe ashamed (the reactions are very unique from person to person, I'm only referring to how I would have reacted).

Try and be her friend in this situation, not so very much her mother. If she refuses to talk to you, have her see a psychologist or someone in the likening of one.

I hope this can be somewhat helpful. Let me know if you need someone to talk to.

//E

demolished I have question for you. If you have the problem that you are disgusted by food and the thought of eating it, how can you possibly change that? Just learning to eat disgusting food? Is there really no food that you like?? Not even cake and candies? Is it like shut down of your taste buds, that not even sweet food taste sweet to you? I'm just curious.

my daughter is getting worse she is not eating and drinking very little been back to doctors she has lost weight very quickly the doctor going to ring my daughter food disorder counscellor up to discuss with her whats happened my daughter crying out for help. wants to to get back to normal and says she wished she never started it. her weight loss is really bad they keep saying about taking her into hospital but it seems all talk how long will they leave her before taking her into hospital we are trying our best with her but we dont no how to deal with it thanks for your reply

Night Angel, let's not discuss that in this thread, shall we? This one is about Shirley's daughter. If you want to question my opinions and my way of expressing myself, please send me a private message or e-mail. Our discussions should not affect this forum. Thank you.

And as for you Shirley, that's just awful to hear! But, it seems as though she wants to get better, and that's a good start. In which country/state do you live? I don't know about other countries, but here in Sweden we have lots of great support groups and rehabilitation programs, look around and see what you can find if the doctors won't do anything more for your daughter (which would be totally INSANE, thinking about in how bad a state she seems to be).

God bless you and your daughter,
E

we live in england we are getting some help also talked to someone who has had a daughter who was the same as my daughter and someone who has also been through it which has helped me to understand it abit more have been through it or still going through it E my daughter says she fed up with talking to different people and says its not doing any good and not sinking in what they say het heart beat has also dropped and waiting for test results to come back all these is really scary for both me and my daughter and still trying hard to get fluid in her we have also been told its going to be a long hard battle to get back right but just hoping we get through this thankyou though for replying back to me

Yes, it's going to be a long, tough fight, but I think you guys will make it through. I pray for your daughter and your entire family.

E

hi, everyone...don't know if anyone will read this since the post are old. I hope Shirley's daughter is ok. My daughter suffered compulsive eating then bulemia, and it graduated into anerexia. our lowest point was when she couldn't eat a salad with out dressing from Burger king because it was "Fattening". We have been doing well for almost 2 years. I can only say hold your daughter as much as she will let you. Love her unconditionally. And tell her every chance you get what a wonderful person she is. I used to hold her every night until she fell asleep so that i would know she would be there in the morning. Make her go to a counseler that you trust. We went to a couple before finding the right one. Eating disorders aren't only about weight and calories. Eating disorders are more about the individuals life is out of control and they can control this. most of all make yourself available to her. Don't be afraid to research hospitals for eating disorders. The longer a person has an ED the harder it is to recover. I can offer hope though. I battled anerexia in highschool and have not relapes in 20 years.