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Dating a bipolar.

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Hello all, I have looked at this forum extensively and have researched bipolar disorder some, but I have a question nonetheless... I have met this girl, who, granted, is much younger than I am. She told me she was bipolar from the get-go and has started taking medication (Topamax). I care for her deeply and a few days ago she came over and we spent 24 hours together and she opened up to me and I to her and it was amazing (and very chaste). She told she'd never run away (I've had bad relationships in the past) and that if one day I were to ask her hand in marriage she would say yes and when we parted ways she told me she loved me.
Okay, so it's all a bit fast, but it was sweet. However, a day later she writes me saying she can't be in my life, she can't be in a relationship and she wishes me all the best...
My question is: is this part of being bipolar? She is bipolar 2, I've seen her sad but never manic, she doesn't drink and unfortunately she doesn't really eat either... Anyway, again: is this common bipolar behavior? I care for her deeply and, yes, I can see myself falling in love with her. But I am very confused...
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replied September 8th, 2010
Experienced User
I'd have to say this is the reality of trying to have a relationship with someone who is either bi-polar or who has borderline personality disorder. You better be ready for the constant mood swings and other goodies that come along with this disorder. I tried to have a relationship with someone, who I'll call KH, who has borderline personality disorder (similar in many ways). I found it exhausting and very difficult to deal with. Sometimes she was wonderful and loving....someone I’d want in my life......then there's the times she was totally out of control.....like she lived in a different world. All I can say is if you want a life filled with drama, if her meds are not working, then by all means pursue her. I decided to cut off all communications with KH due to the treatment and crazy stunts......and guess what.....she still wants to be friends. I don’t believe I’ll ever understand her train of thought.
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replied September 21st, 2010
Dude thats insane..i was with an arabic girl and she told me she loved then the next day im a jerk...wierd but i was in almost the same situation not to long ago u were in Capiman...unfortunately not only was she crazy bipolar,she was also a prostitute..who gave me chlamydia!
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replied November 9th, 2010
Experienced User
yes, my friend,this is a most common BP trait, to change mind, to leave a relationship in a rash way, without any thought for the person being left, without any notice, just like that. I happened to lots and lots of us in this forum, to me as well. It is terrible, normal people do not leave a loving relatioship out of the blue,without any reason; BP do it.
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replied November 1st, 2011
Just because someone has bipolar it does not mean we are not NORMAL! we have feelings too if anything more than the "normal" we constantly do worry and think about the other person. the issue here is we worry that we will take the other half down with us. im getting looked at for bpd also. i have never been dumped i have always left relationships. but never for no reason as some of you "normals" would think so. its mainly the factor because we care for you too much. so there ya have it from a girl with bipolar.
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replied November 9th, 2011
DawnDee - I am reading your post and can't believe it. I haven't been on this forum for a few months because I tried to forget about my BP boyfriend. But, I just love him too much. Despite the fact that he is always shutting himself away from everyone including me, he still knows I am there for him when he does reach out to me (usually once every few weeks). So, I am constantly lonely and missing him. But, in our conversation last week, he told me that he "is not getting any better and doesn't want to drag me down with him." My question is why won't he lean on me? I have told him that he doesn't have to go through this alone and I want to support him in any capacity (emotionally, financially, ...) but he shuts me out instead of letting me help. I do believe it is because he cares for me, but it doesn't have to be this way for him. He also says that "he can't turn off all of the thoughts in his head." What does this mean? He really is a great guy and unless he has someone supportive in his life, I worry about what will happen to him. His family is not very supportive and criticize him a lot. What can I do? Please help me. I am desperate to get him the help he needs and deserves.
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replied November 9th, 2011
He doesnt want to bring you into his problems pretty much! the thoughts part is pretty much hes having a break down in his head.

Its not easy letting people in.

But if you truely think you can cope and deal with all the issues thenj dont give up and keep doing everything you can to help.
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replied November 14th, 2011
Thanks for your reply. I really want to stick by him and not give up, but it is so hard because he has become this terribly self-centered person that he was not like before. As I read in another bi-polar dating post, everything is always about him. We only get together when he feels like it. I just miss the person he used to be. He was so attentive and loving and I hardly see that person anymore. But, when he does become that person again, even if it is for a very brief time, it makes all of the sadness and heartache worth it. Will I ever see that loving guy again for more than a day at a time?
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