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dad jerking off in front of me (Page 1)

so my dad will jerk off in front of me while i'm asleep. About a month ago our hot water heater broke and we lost power four a week soon afterwards. His room was the only room to power my alarm clock to wake me for school so i slept in his room. Well 2 different night i woke up to him jerking off. This has happened before about a year ago and when i brought it up last year he yelled, denied it, put me through a guilt trip, and then yelled some more

My question is what do i do to get help? How do i survive in a house with a man that does that in front of his teenage kid?

If you have ANY advice AT ALL please tell me, I don't think i can handle this much more.
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First Helper mikebolling
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replied March 1st, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
Well this is not right at all..your father should definatly not be doing things like this is front of you...You need to sit him down and be straight with him and basically say there is no point in denying it anymore i have seen you and it is wrong..please can you stop doing this while im around..If he doesnt listen then maybe he needs help...try turning to a family member see what they can do to help..good luck..Jenny
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Users who thank J3nnyuk for this post: zerobeloved 

replied March 1st, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
Has this happened outside of the instance where you were sleeping in his room?
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replied March 2nd, 2010
WOLF: yes, it has happened at a convention and a resort. My dad is a state officer in his fraternity and he goes to annual conventions. My mom died 5 years ago, my older sister is never home, so he takes me so i can help him read directions,etc. At the convention i was once again sleepng and woke up to him doing it.

At the resort it was the same as in the convention. We're sleeping in different beds but its in the same room
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replied March 2nd, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
This is sort of again a situation where his privacy is compromised. What you're describing doesn't sound like any kind of perversion or abuse on his part, just likely bad judgement of whether he can pleasure himself on the down-low. The problem is that obviously it upsets you and that's got to be dealt with. Talk to him, non-confrontationally, not about right or wrong, but about how it made you feel. Let him know that you don't have a problem with what he does in privacy but it really freaks you out when you're aware of it.
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replied March 2nd, 2010
Supporter
zerobeloved, may I ask what his sexual orientation is? This behavior is innapropriate by anyone but if he is a heterosexual man, then his behavior is even more inappropriate because it might- and I stress MIGHT- indicate an incestuous thought or fantasy. I am not saying that this is sexual abuse but after the first time you mentioned it, this should NEVER have happened again. While he may not be doing this in the hopes or intention of getting caught by you, he may be getting a thrill from performing this act with someone else in the room. If this desire is overriding his parental concern for his child, he has a problem. I agree with WOLF's statement that you should let him know that what he does in private is fine but that you are freaked out when he does it in the same room as you. If it still continues, despite telling him several times that you are bothered by this, threaten to tell another adult and follow through on it if the bad behavior continues. I do not recommend telling anyone in the school system because once the authorities are involved, things can rapidly get out of control. Perhaps there is a trusted adult friend or family member that could step in if necessary.
Good luck.
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replied March 2nd, 2010
Your father may have thought you were asleep the first time this occurred, but he now knows you have seen him do this. The fact that he continues to masturbate with you in the room is disturbing to me and signifies something going on here. Under the circumstances, and knowing you are aware of his actions, he could find numerous other times and places to pleasure himself when you are not around, yet still chooses not to. Are you male or female, you didn't specify? All I can tell you is, you stated to him that this is upsetting you. Just let him know that HE is supposed to be the adult who has definite control over his actions, and if this continues, you will first, no longer stay in a room with him overnight, and second, you WILL tell someone about it. Maybe the threat of telling will get him to stop. If not, this man needs some counciling.
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replied March 3rd, 2010
'deteragram: my dad is straight if thats what your asking. I've told my uncle about what been happening and he only believes that i should move out. The problem there is that i'm 17 and still in school.I school psychologist also knows and has tried to bring it up to my dad but my dad acted like i was framing him from murderor something
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replied March 3rd, 2010
bluediamond2: i'm a girl
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replied March 3rd, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
zerobeloved your dad's defensiveness about this doesn't sit well with me. Honest mistakes are humiliating but not generally a source of anger. Do stand up to your dad no matter how uncomfortable it makes you. He has to know that that behavior isn't acceptable around a teenage girl. And yes leave that house as soon as it's reasonably possible for you to.
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replied March 3rd, 2010
Community Volunteer
Your Father knows exactly what he is doing...Go and live with a relative if you have to...He is using you to turn himself on...You are not the first girl that this has happened to and should not be sleeping in a room with him at a hotel....Take care...

Caroline
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replied March 3rd, 2010
wolf: i'll try to talk to him again about it. i'll try to move when i can, thanks again.
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replied March 3rd, 2010
CarolineEF: thank you caroline, when i'm done with school i plan to enlist into the air force so thats my quickest ticket out of here. To here that he's using me to turn himself on is quite disturbing but thank you for telling me.
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replied March 3rd, 2010
Community Volunteer
zerobeloved wrote:
CarolineEF: thank you caroline, when i'm done with school i plan to enlist into the air force so thats my quickest ticket out of here. To here that he's using me to turn himself on is quite disturbing but thank you for telling me.


You are a young woman...Just the scent of a woman will make a man of his age react like this...If your Mom passed on 5 years ago, he probably has surpressed sexual wants...You just have to be careful that this does not carry over to you...Stay out of his room...When you are home lock your bedroom door at night...Have a lock on the bathroom door...It is far better to be safe then sorry....Good luck and you will do great in the Air Force...Take care...

Caroline
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replied March 3rd, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
Please take what Caroline says with a grain of salt. She periodically lets fly with some really offensive statements about men. If your Father really didn't care about you or what you thought of him he wouldn't bother to tell you that you're out of your mind or trying to ascribe motives. He's obviously not proud of his behavior intentional or just stupid. Like all humans he's flawed. Be more concerend with the impact this places on your mental health. Work with your psychologist and move yourself to a place to where you can be healthy when you finish school.
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replied March 3rd, 2010
Community Volunteer
I want to rephrase my wording on my post...Your Father has his own problem...He is lonely and in need of relieving his sexual tension...You are a young woman...By the scent I meant the "awareness" of a woman in his room....He is probably not even thinking of you...His mind may be miles away from you when he is doing this...He could be with your Mother in a place in time...However, even though you are his own child, he is a man and he must respect you for this....By jacking off he is doing what he needs to do...Hope this helps....

Caroline
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replied March 4th, 2010
Your father is not stupid. He KNOWS there is a woman in the room with him when he is doing this, and he KNOWS she's his DAUGHTER. He also KNOWS his daughter is aware of what he is doing and is offended by it. Yet he refuses to fess up, apologize OR stop. You need to stay out of the room with him... Sleep somewhere else, and as Caroline said lock your doors. Any man who would continue to do this when he knows his child is upset by it, needs HELP. As I said before, there are plenty of places he can release himself when nobody is around, but this doesn't seem to give him the "rise" doing it in the room with you does. Don't wait around for the possibility of the next step...get out of there if he refuses to accept responsibily for his actions. What he is doing to you physcologically could create problems for you down the road. If he won't get help, you have to look out for yourself. I'm with Caroline on this one. Some men have no shame when it comes to sex. This is about the worst thing you can do to a child short of molestation. Especially when the child is YOUR OWN.
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replied March 5th, 2010
Caroline: Its do help so thanmk you.I do lock my room, and eveything else with padlocks. I don't like ppl in my things with out my knowledge of it. Itry my best to stay out of his room.
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replied March 5th, 2010
WOLF: i understand that my dad does love me but it also scares me that he does this. I already am planning on places to live when i graduate. I know my dad is human and has flaws but in wish he'd at least try to not do this when i'm around. I get he's an older man and its natural but not in the same room as your kid.
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replied March 5th, 2010
bluediamond: thank you for understanding how i feel. Its nice to know that theres someone who relaes to what i feel and the confusion it brings to me. The worsest part is that a week after my mom died my uncle molested me. Myy dad knows this and knows just how badly it has damaged me. I don't understand that he knows this yet continues with his "actions" Thank you a lot blue
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