I cannot control myself when I get upset and seem to be crying more and more. I cried in work today and became so hysterical that I had to go home. This is also not the first time it has happened. I am now sat at home worrying about how unprofessional my behaviour was, and how I can never face going back to work.
Things have been building up at work for a while. I am being given a lot of work to do and being expected to handle a lot of issues that are outside of my job description. I often have other members of staff being rude or unhelpful towards me and I am unable to let it just bounce off me and take everything to heart. On a number of occassions I have ducked off and sat in the toilet and cried for a while at work. Whilst this is not great either, I would prefer this than actually crying in front of people which is what happened today.
I also look young for my age and often people speak to me like I am stupid/inexperienced and patronise me. It doesn't help that I am not assertive when I need to be. Rather than stand up for myself at the time, I go away and think about it and get more and more upset and angry by it.
Today I had a similar experience with being spoken to like I was a child and rather than just being embarrassed by it I answered back and told the person not to be rude. I hate confrontation anyay and the fact that I lost control of my emotions became some kind of release and also because I was already upset by another member of staff and problems at home I burst out crying.
This also leads on to another problem. I think a lot and worry a lot. If something has happened be it in work/friends/relationship/family I worry and think and get even more upset to a point where it is impossible to get on with what I need to do. I phone in sick at work/cancel on friends/stay up all night crying and thinking and worrying. This is also only a relatively recent thing, I would say over the last 5 years and was never as bad when I was younger.
I was in a simalir situation but things changes on May 25. My husband of 20 years left me, no money, the bank account empty, and blamed it on me. I felt lost, comfused, and empty for spending all my time on this man.
I tried to commit suicide on May 28, thinking that things would be better for everyone. In the hospital I learned some very good things. 1) Don't be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes things are so overwhelming that crying is the only outlet. 2) take baby steps at work. write yourself notes and take it slow. If something starts to bother you think of something different, for example, a peaceful place that is calm. 3) Remember you are important and talk to your friends about your problems. They are my anchor and if they are your friends, they will understand and support. 4) Talk to the HR department about getting some help. Some insurances pay for therapists, everyone needs to talk to someone one time or another. I am trying to make it and so can you. Remember slow and easy. I hope I have helped you.