I have been married for going on 30 years now and have always considered my marriage to be strong and have had no real reason to believe she has cheated on me. Lately, I have noticed what I feel is a difference in the way my wife treats me. To be more specific, at times, she seems somewhat distant and cold towards me. She seldom initiates a hug or kiss goodnight and sometimes seems bothered when I take the initiative. When I try to talk to her about it she will blame it on the stresses of her job or she will just get mad and say something like “what did I do now and how should I act.” which solves nothing. Some of the problem may be that I gained some weight recently, (about 35 pounds) and she did complain about that and I am trying to improve. (by the way, I have never complained about her weight when similar gains happened to her) Sex life is okay but she seems to want to get it done with quickly then there is no hugging or cuddling afterwards. I don’t mean to sound like whimp but I miss the affection we used to share.
Now, the reason I have suddenly become more concerned about our relationship. She was away from the house today so I thought I would try to do a little extra around the house so I started the laundry. In the pile of dirty clothes I found a pair of crotchless panties that I have never saw before. Actually, she has always been very conservative about clothing like that and I didn’t even know she owned anything like that. Additionally, they looked a little faded like they had been through the wash more than a few times so it’s not like she just got them.
Yes, there is more to the story, there always is, but I don’t want to write a our life story down.
So, should I be concerned about the clothing and should I ask her about them knowing that it will make her mad?
Can I change my name to IMFOOLISH because I overreacted big time. Hereâs what happened; my sonâs washing machine broke down so he brought his laundry out to our house. Like most sons, instead of doing it himself, he dumped it on good ole Mom and his clothes got mixed with ours and the crotchless panties belong to his girlfriend. Actually, had I looked at them better I would have realized that they were a few sizes too small for my wife. The good news is she got a real good laugh from my err.
We also had a heartfelt talk about the other stuff and we agree that we both have things to work on and Iâm convinced things will improve.
Itâs unusual for me to overact as I didâ¦I obviously worried myself over absolutely nothing.
Part of me feels foolish for airing this out on a forum like this but if it helps someone else to not overreact than it was worth it.
You had everey right to be concerned. Its because you love her. But the fact that she laughed it off too insyead of getting mad of you accusing her was great. How embarassing to find your sons girlfriends undies. Poor guy.
I too am happy it worked out that way. I wish it would have been that way for me. How bout you cleaning your RV 5th wheel and by the bed you find a folded piece of paper and on it say " Hot coffee for you hon, Love Ya". You open it up and it is a motel receipt! Yep, in two months I was a free unmarried woman. Now if that is not proof, nothing is. Hey, did you think she may be starting menapause? That can trigger many mood swings and libedo changes.
It's awesome that you care so much for your wife, and I'm glad you worked it out. You are not a wimp for wanting you wife's attention. You are a loving husband who takes it to heart when things suddenly change. That is understandable and nothing to be ashamed of. Next time you find somethign odd in the laundry ask her where it came from.