Joined: 26 Mar 2008 Posts: 18 Location: Salinas, Ca US
critical point Posted: 04-15-08 11:12am
I am tired of waking up almost every day
and feeling deeply depressed. I am
constantly contemplating suicide. This
morning I was thinking of hanging myself
this afternoon before work. I am tired of
constantly making mistakes. I am tired of
not being able to block the bad things in
life it like I focus on them rather than
ignoring them. I remember my ex saying
that her ex committed suicide and she
wasnt able to remember him cause had block
him out already. I remember my older
brother saying that you do have the
ability to block out certian things. Why
cant I do that. I hate the person I have
become I feel confused with no answers why
I am so screwed up. I have recently
withdrew from everyone becoming numb and a
narcisissis. I an incredible amount of
anger and rage built up inside of me. I
want kill myself before I do something
stupid or cause trouble for some one else.
I dont want to make anymore mistakes that
make me look stupid. I feel like a waste
of life. I want to stay in my room and not
talk to anyone cause no one wants to talk
to me.
|
penpen
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2008 Posts: 45 Location: Minnesota,
Posted: 04-19-08 22:00pm
Hey,
I'm so sorry that you are feeling so
depressed. It sounds like your depression
is a little out of control, and maybe you
should go see a doctor. You may need some
medication to help. Life is worth living,
and you need to find out what is out there
for you. Try new things, meet new people,
make a plan for the future. Try to not
look back on your past, look forward to
the future. Try writing all of your
thoughts down, that helps me when I am
down. Talk to people you trust. I am
really glad you didn't commit suicide. You
are special, there is only one of you in
this world. If you ever want to talk, feel
free to PM me, I am here, and will always
reply. I will help in any way that I can,
even if it is just listening.
|
marvel
Supporter
Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 1031 Location: Toronto, Ontario (but only a private message away)
Thanks: 32
Thanked:3
Posted: 04-20-08 20:05pm
Fonz,
If you truly, truly feel this way, you
should immediately go to the hospital. Any
hospital. They will help you!
I think of times when I felt the exact
same as you. I really did... I didn't want
to live anymore because I couldn't just
turn the switch off... I couldn't just
stop feeling so terrible. It always seemed
as though it was so easy for everyone
else.
Have you been to counselling? Have you
tried antidepressants? I highly recommend
both of them... even if for a small amount
of time to see how they help. Depression
is tricky... it convinces you that there
is nothing that can be done to make you
feel better. It lies, it makes you fear so
many things, it causes you to make excuses
because of that fear, and cheats you into
believing so many false things about
yourself and the world around you. Believe
it or not, it can be dealt with and
managed in a way that can make your life
SO much easier... I speak from real
experience.
I would advise you to definitely seek
help... for your sake. Believe me, my
friend, you will thank yourself for it in
a matter of months.
**I would also just like to put a
disclaimer in here... your post may be
deleted just because eHealth doesn't allow
any posts that seem as though they are
suicidal... it's just not a very positive
thing to have on a public health forum,
especially for people who are dealing with
suicide or suicidal thoughts themselves.
If you want to PM me, I'm more than
willing to talk to you.
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Schizophreniahealth
This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
