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crazy relationship

ok i am 20 years old soon to be 21 i have been in this relationship for almost 4 years i am with my high school sweet heart whos 19 years old. i would say we have a really good relationship we get along do everything together, we can talk sometimes but i hide my feelings from him you know if i get sad i don't tell him and i know there are things he hides from me. but where the crazy relationship comes in is he has really bad anger issues for example like tonight, we were working on our car, my fingers were smashed by him and our friend i thought it would be kinda funny to pretend to get mad at both of them by yelling you smashed my fingers my boyfriend got mad at me yelled at me to stop. i got upset, he could tell i was going to attempt to talk with him but before i could he told me don't get mad you have no reason to get mad or upset. i let it go you know i was upset but what can you do. after we were done with the car we went home we kinda argued he told me he wouldn't have gotten mad at me if i would have told him what was going on i said how could i tell you when u tell me i can't get upset or mad that would make anyone not say anything. he told me that when he gets mad it shows he cares and if i don't want him to care then he wont show it and i will regret it if i don't want him to show it. i told him he was twisting my words around and that you don't show you care by getting mad you do in some situations but not in a situation like this. we didn't talk i tried to clean up but got yelled at because i was close to him i wasn't even trying to get close to him i was just trying to throw papers away. we argue i don't even remember what, all i know is i try and keep a level head because even though hes really nice he has a dark side he sprays me with some green spray paint hes just mad yelling at me calling me names you know i wish half the time i would give him a reason to treat me like the way he does but i figure more then half the time i do simple things. hes so angery to the point where he has hit me, and threatened to do so today and i try to believe i am the one to blame but i know i am not because if i wanted to get hit i would hit him, i don't i just try and talk. this happens alot and i really don't know what to do i just always end up crying and forgiving him. and no matter what he always makes it seem like hes going to hit me that he doesn't love me i know better i am the person that usually doesn't take any of this things and would beat him up for hurting me. but i dont i just let it eat at me and i am scared of him keep in mind this stuff happens when we argue and i don't know what to do, this has been happening for over a year i have so much to say i would like some one to respond because i don't tell any one anything about whats going on. i just don't want to cry anymore. i don't think anyone can help me because i am not willing to leave him.
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replied October 28th, 2009
Experienced User
leave him you are too good for that
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replied November 21st, 2009
Supporter
i've been with my ex for five years and he showed me so many "red flags". i didnt leave him because i was in love with him, and i didnt leave until i fell out of love with him.
he really did destroy me mentally in those five years and i ignored everyone who told me to leave.
it's been 2 1/2 years later and i am with a nice guy, but i look back at how stupid i was, i felt like he wasted five years of my life. if he was on fire i wouldnt pee on him.
dont waste your time, i know how hard it is to break up with someone and still be in love, but you will come to this conclusion today and next week.
atlease talk to him and tell him how you feel, and see if he is willing to change.
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replied November 22nd, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
I agree they are not worth it hun trust me...the more you stay the more they think they have the right to do whatever they like because they figure oh she forgive me so ill do it again...its a form of control hun..please leave...Jenny
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replied November 29th, 2009
hi, iv just read your story, i think you should get out of this relationship while you can before he gets any worse beacuse people like this rarely change and if they do its nt long before that side in them comes out again. i would advise that you try talk to him about his behaviour towards you and if this doesent seem to be working then you should take action and leave i know its hard and he will try and sweet talk you but the longer you stay the worse it will get, if your away from him it will give him time to reliase his wrongs and maybe one he will change for the better but for now you've got to pick up the strength to leave him for his own good as well as yours beacuse the more you are taking this off him the more he will think he can do it as he's not getting any negative response from it, im going throggh the same sort of thing now and its not very nice i wish i could have just left him the 1st time i reliased he was like this than take him back and for things to get as bad as they are now.. hope this is helpful to you. x
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