3 years honestly is not that long, especially when a great deal of responsibility isn't on your shoulders yet. How many marriages break up after 5 years? 10?

And we're not talking about someone who's accidentally pregnant getting married. We're talking about a teen who's been TTC since she was 14 years old and who also wants to get married right now. Why so many things at once? What's the rush? Where's the harm in waiting a few years until school is behind her and she has an established life with her boyfriend/husband?

i honestly have no clue why people cant understand that everyone lives and lead different lives. if she wants to have a baby now, then let her. it doesnt affect our lives at all, it only affects her and her family's. just let her be.

i got pregnant when i was 17. not planned, but it happened. and i will tell you this: he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. and anyone that regrets having their children (like that 32 year old that had her son when she was 20), then you are just a selfish pig with no heart. the age you have your child has nothing to do with your ability to raise it. (what about all those crazy 35 year old women that drowned and bludgeoned their children to death??? they obviously werent 16 when they had their kids.. they were in their 30's.) my son is now 7 and he is healthy, beautiful, and totally effin awesome! sure, money has been tight... but financial stability is not the most important part in raising a child... the most important part is the EMOTIONAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL SUPPORT. treat your kids beautifully, no matter how much money you have. nice cars, big houses, and a bedroom full of toys isnt what a child needs to grow up happy and healthy... all they need is a parent(/parents) that love them no matter what!

you adults in here that are badmouthing young girls for having or wanting to have children really need to look deep in to yourselves and grow the hell up.

Are you honestly suggesting that it's okay to create a child on purpose (create, not continue an unplanned pregnancy) when you are a minor, not financially independent and not living on your own or supporting yourself? In what way is that responsible? If you're not even supporting yourself yet, how could you possibly expect to support a child?

Could you do it? Sure. You could ask your family to help you buy things your baby needs. You could ask them to watch your child while you attend school or work. You could live under someone else's roof and have them partially support you and your child. You could try to swing school, work and parenthood all at once.

But is it responsible? In my opinion, no. It's selfish. You're bringing a child into this world because you want one. You're doing it knowing full well that you won't be able to give them everything they deserve - not without help. You're doing it knowing you will have to ask others, perhaps your parents, to bear some of the responsibility, whether it be financially or physically via babysitting or what have you. You're doing it while knowing you won't be able to devote yourself to this child as much as you want to, because you'll already be spread thin between attending class, going to work, and then doing your classwork. If you have spare time, you buy groceries and clean house. What time does that leave for your child? Many children of young mothers end up being primarily raised by their grandparents, because the parents don't have enough time. It doesn't mean they're a bad person - it simply means there aren't enough hours in the day.

What possible reason could you give that it's okay to do this NOW rather than later? What will change in 5 years? What negative thing will stop you from having kids in 5 years? I can promise you that the odds of something tragically affecting your fertility in the next 5 years are significantly lower than the odds your child will be without.

Love and emotional support only get you so far. This world is a tough place, and money talks. I wish that weren't the case, but it is. If you have the means to do it, please finish your education first. Please establish yourself in this world BEFORE you bring another life into it.

Your baby deserves so much. The least you can do is wait until you're able to give it to them before creating them. THAT is what responsibility is. Putting someone else's needs ahead of your wants. Wanting a baby is normal. Use that want as fuel to help you succeed in school and career. Let it be the driving force for you to become an established member of society. Be someone your child can look up to and be proud of.

I will never tell a teenager "Oh things will work out, go ahead and get pregnant on purpose!". Never. If that means I need to "grow the hell up", then so be it. The world is not a gentle place, and reality hits HARD when the novelty of a soft cuddly baby wears off.

in the state of TN you do NOT have to go through court. i have a child named trey... he isnt mine but he lives with me and my fiance i recently moved out because my grandparents are the one that has custody and are signing my mom died when i was 6 and i dont talk to my dad. ive been raped had 3 miscarriages. been abused, and my life has had ups and downs. i dont think about dances and stuff like that ive been grown since i was 3 mentally. so no plus me and my fiance get a break every now and then but usually wed rather trey be with us all the time. I do everything a grown up does. and actually i work for my familys buisness so i can work whenever i want. Thanks for my supporters.

aya.. unless youve 'been there, done that' than i dont want to hear any more from you about how tough it is to raise a child when you have them at a young age. and if you were in that situation then youre obviously one of those people that regret their child(ren) and you make me quite upset.

im sorry that youre a capitalistic pig and believe money rules everything, because it doesnt.

and even people in their 20s and 30s ask their parents/siblings/other relatives to watch their children so they can do things. and people that dont ask their relatives, pay some stranger in a daycare to watch their kids so they can go to college/work/whatever. i know plenty of 'adults' that neglect their children more than teenage parents. like i said before, a persons ability to raise a child successfully has nothing to do with the parents age (disclaimer: there are bad eggs in every age group, i will admit that. but not every girl that gives birth to a child before she is 21 is a bad parent).

60 years ago it was still acceptable for an adult male over the age of 21 to marry a 13 year old girl and have children with her. i bet you youre great or great great grandparents were young as hell when they had their kids.

its all about sterotyping, and im sorry you got stuck in that rut and cant open your eyes and mind to how other people believe and feel. society makes all of us believe we should look and act a certain way... but it isnt all valid. you only look down on teenage parents because society in the last 30 years has taught you to do so.

so.. if money rules everything and is the only way to raise a child..... how do you explain all of the successful people that were born and raised during the great depression to parents with no money? they started with no money but made something of themselves. want to know why..?? because their parents loved them and took care of them animalistically. were all animals and we werent put here to buy baby formula and $75 easter outfits. no. we were put here to love our brother, our sister, and our child... no matter what.

if you believe money is the important part of raising a child.. id hate to be your children. they are the ones that are suffering because of the superficial relationship you have created with them. put down the remote to your 46" television and go hug your children once in a while.

here is a little food for thought. here is a list of teenage mothers:

Pre-20th century

* Medieval Queen of England Eleanor of Provence was 14, 16 and 17 years old when she gave birth to her first three children by her husband King Henry III of England: Edward I of England, Margaret of England and Beatrice of England respectively. She and Henry also had two additional children born several years later: Edmund of Lancaster and Katherine.
* Mary de Bohun, the first wife of Henry IV of England gave birth to her first child Edward at the age of 13. Although Edward did not survive infancy, she had six additional children with her husband before dying in childbirth from her last child, Philippa of England.
* At the age of 13, Lady Margaret Beaufort gave birth to her only child, who later became Henry VII of England.
* Sacagawea, translator and guide to Lewis and Clark, gave birth to her son Jean Baptiste Charbonneau in 1805, while on expedition, and traveled with him to the Pacific Ocean and back. Although Sacagawea's exact birth date is unknown, she was probably 17 or 18 at the time of the birth.

[edit] 20th century

* In 1917, 17-year-old Kamala Nehru gave birth to her daughter, Indira (later prime minister of India).
* Child actress turned diplomat Shirley Temple was 19 when she gave birth to her first child, Linda Susan, in 1948.[citation needed]
* Maya Angelou, an American poet, memoirist, actress and an important figure in the American Civil Rights Movement became pregnant at the age of 16 and gave birth to her son, Guy Johnson, who also became a poet later in life.
* Ann Dunham was 18 when in 1961 she gave birth to the 44th President of the United States, Barack Obama.[91]
* Naomi Judd had a girl, Christina Claire Ciminella, on May 30, 1964, the same day her high school diploma was mailed to her. Michael Ciminella was not the biological father but married Naomi to give Christina his surname. Christina is now most notably known as Wynonna Judd, an American singer.[92]
* Dimple Kapadia
* Tamara Beckwith dropped out of Cheltenham Ladies' College in order to have her daughter, Anouska Poppy Pearl in 1987. The father was an American Marine. Anouska is now studying acting in Los Angeles.[93]
* Dwayne Michael Carter Jr. aka Lil’ Wayne had his baby, Reginae, with his now ex-wife Antonia "Toya" Johnson when he was 16 and she 14.[94][95]

[edit] 21st century

* Pop singer Fantasia Barrino, winner of American Idol 2004, was 17 when she gave birth to a daughter named Zion Quari' in 2001; in 2005 she released a controversial song about single motherhood entitled Baby Mama.[96]
* Taylor Hanson, a member of the pop band Hanson, was 19 when his 18-year-old wife Natalie gave birth to their first child, a son named Jordan Ezra, in 2002.[97]
* Yulia Volkova, of the controversial Russian pop band t.A.T.u., was 19 when she gave birth to her daughter Viktoria Pavlovna Volkova in September 2004; she had spoken publicly about having an abortion the year before.[98]
* Singer and actress Solange Knowles was 18 when she gave birth to her first child, Daniel Julez Smith Junior, in October, 2004.[99][100]
* Asia Nitollano, who joined the pop group The Pussycat Dolls after winning a reality tv show, was 17 when she gave birth to her daughter in 2005.[101][102][103]
* Oscar-nominated actress Keisha Castle-Hughes was 17 when she gave birth to her first child, a girl named Felicity-Amore, in 2007.[104]
* Jamie Lynn Spears, who is the younger sister of pop singer Britney Spears, gave birth to daughter Maddie Briann Aldridge at 17 on June 19, 2008. The father is Casey Aldridge.[105]
* Bristol Palin, 17, the pregnant teenage daughter of John McCain's 2008 vice presidential candidate Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin, gave birth on December 27, 2008 to a son named Tripp.[106]

I have two children. I was an adult when I had them. I was married, and my husband and I were both working. And even we struggled financially. We paid our own rent, our own bills, put our own food on the table, did not rely on others for childcare or welfare... and it was amazingly difficult. It is unreal how expensive it is to live in the world on your own, and the costs of raising a child are staggering. It's tough period, and doubly so when you're not lucky enough to at least be established.

And don't throw assumptions at me like I regret my children. That's disgusting. Where did you even come up with that? How dare you? Please look back over my posts and show me where I said anything about regretting my children.



Insult me again and I will report you to admin. I don't take insults kindly. And I never said money rules everything. I said money talks. Ever hear that phrase "it's business, not personal"? When you're scraping together money to keep the lights turned on and the water active, do you really think your landlord wants to hear a sob story about how your baby needed diapers and that's why you don't have rent this week? Do you think they'll cut you a break? They most likely won't. Money matters in this world. To think otherwise is naive, and to tell minors otherwise is irresponsible.



Yes, for the occasional date night or grocery shopping. Not every single day so they can continue things they should have already gotten out of the way, like... oh... high school, for example.



Which is a business decision. Money exchanges hands. You know, that green stuff that you like to pretend doesn't exist.



What does that have to do with anything? I never said young parents equal bad parents. I said it would be better to wait until you have your ducks in a row. Please go back and read my posts again, because obviously you're drawing conclusions on your own that are not my doing. I know quite a few responsible young mothers, and every single one of them honestly do the best they can do. They have also honestly spoken to other teens who want babies and have explained why it is better to wait.



This isn't the world it was 60 years ago. Times change, and the situations change with them.



You must really be carrying a chip on your shoulder about this. Again, you are responding to accusations that I have never made. I do not look down on teenage parents.



That's nice. That doesn't pay for the clothing on your child's back though. It doesn't pay for the food in their mouth, or for the doctor visits, or for the roof over their head. It doesn't pay for the water you bathe them with or the medicine you use to bring their fever down. It doesn't pay for the heat you use to cook their food and keep them warm. It doesn't pay for the diapers or the car seats or the crib they sleep in at night. We're not talking about extreme luxuries and silver spoons. We're talking about basic necessities. We're talking about where a MINOR CHILD will get those basic necessities when she can't even nail down a decently paying job because she is underaged, bound by child labor laws and does not have her high school diploma. Love does not solve any of that.



You don't know my children, sweetheart. I haven't said a word about yours, so I'd appreciate the same respect. If you can't keep your nasty comments to yourself, you will be reported. Act like an adult, please.

Money is not "the most important part". It is one of the most important parts. It is a requirement, a necessity, an ugly truth. It's something that people came up with, and in this country it is something that governs almost everything we do. Unfortunate but true. To pretend otherwise is to bury your head in the sand.

You can be a good parent and not have bucketloads of money. Of course you can. But don't pretend like it's not important. Don't pretend like it's an optional thing. In today's world, it's very hard to get by without it. Should a young woman's dream for her child be "I hope we can squeeze by"? Or should she reach for the stars and try to be everything she can possibly be? Shouldn't she try her hardest to provide everything she can so her child doesn't have to feel what it's like to skip a meal? To be cold at night? Do you think those children in the Great Depression were happy? Do you think their parents didn't mind the fact that they didn't know where their next meal would come from?

All the more reason for you to wait.

Well, I think that this girl has heard enough from you guys. She has been through alot. I think she feels like she wants to have something of her own for once. Shes been taking care of a child that is not hers. Im sure she wants to raise her own. She probably IS financially ready. Maybe some of you people arent financially ready because you blow your money. You never really know who is ready and who is not. Just because this girl says shes 16, doesnt mean she cant do it! You see the age 16, and go off on a rampage telling her she in unstable. You have no f**king clue who this girl is. She may be more stable than you! I bet, If some person took the original post, replaced the age with 25, all of the negative comments you left, would turn into "congrats" and "im glad for you" ... you know, you really should look into this word. Its called, stereotypical. You guys are treating this young lady, like shes a criminal. She has gone through more than enough to prove her maturity, and she has herself set up for the family business. Sounds like shes ready to me. How about you read the original post, ignore the whole 16 part, and retype this girl a respectful response, instead of ruining her self esteem and crushing her hopes. Im sure she would appreciate it.

hey whats up.. still trying have you read my new topic? thank you for supporting me through my thoughts and choices

no problem. ive been getting alot of negative stuff from people on this site. Just because I dont sit back and let them tell me Im not ready. its rediculous. They think that just because a teen admits she is wrong, that she is mature. I would think she is immature, for letting someone tell them how to live their life!