Continuous eating and cutting

For the past few months I've been going crazy in my head. I keep eating. Like it makes me feel better. My ex boyfriend used me and nowim at lost. I dont know what to do. All he wanted was my body. And i fell for it and then didnt figure that out untill i became overly stressed. Something happened and i began cutting. I have many scars on my legs that no one knows about. Its been two months maybe longer since we broke up. And just thinking about it it makes me feel hurt, lonely, useless. since then I've had two other relationships that ended badly. I met an older guy...but all he did was remind me of my ex. All he wanted was my body, pictures, to hang out and make out, to do things im just not ready for. I felt like if I did what he wanted it would make him like me more, and thats sorta why I did the things with my ex. He was my first real boyfriend, my first love. Now i dont know what to do. Something went terrible after the break up. Suicide was in my thoughts. Nothing happened of course because I'm typing this now. I just have NO idea what to think anymore Dx. Ugh. I probably dont even have anything to be complaining about...ugh..