Hiya,

when i was younger, in my first year of school i was sick when my mum left me, following this i kept being sick constantly when going back to school after half terms and going on holidays or travelling and then kept being sick over simple things like going to the cinemas or getting on the bus.

I managed to get over this a couple of years ago, i'm not sure how but i did.

Last year my dad had an affair and i went for an interview up the city and was sick. Ever since then i have constantly been anxious about every little thing. I didn't have a job for a few months and when starting a new job i was up all night worrying and being sick. I have holidays coming up and thinking about them makes me sick, my parents are going away this weekend and thinking about that has also made me sick this evening, as i'm looking after my little brother, i'm also sick if i have an argument with my boyfriend incase he leaves me.

I feel sick after eating, mainly at night times and feel sick before bed. I am currently on the pill, the previous pill i was on made me angry and feel down, however i believe i have always suffered from depression on and off since school, even though it has never been diagnosed.

I had alot of health issues when i was young and have always felt like i never fit in and that nobody likes me. I never have any confidence in what i'm doing and think i'm a failure, i always look on the negative side of everything.

When i'm sick i become panicky and everything i'm worried about comes across in my mind all at once, it's like i'm out of control and it's really affecting my life, i won't go out anywhere or do anything anymore incase i'm sick.

I feel like ending my life but know i can't because i would upset my family and boyfriend. Living just feels too hard and i'm constantly crying and feeling down.

I don't want to be put on medication as the thought of taking anything makes me feel sick.

Please help me, i'm desperate and can't do this anymore!!!