Okay, I am 14, female, 5'3 and about 160lb at the time of writing. A little over a year ago, I was ~125lb, constantly called 'fat', generally made fun of for my weight. I started on Zoloft around this time. (Currently on Lexapro and have been for 3 months.)
About when this school year started, I started binging. I didn't eat breakfast, I had maybe a chip or something for lunch. When i got home, I'd eat crackers, a sandwich, chips, multiple cans of soda, leftovers, everything. I start having seconds and thirds of dinners hidden in my room--I can't stand to eat in front of others, it makes me break down. If I go out to lunch with friends I eat like a bird.
This happens even worse now, about 1-3 times a week. I've never been diagnosed with an eating disorder, never really thought I'd have one, constantly just blamed "being fat" for my hunger issues. It's not even hunger now though. It's boredom.
I feel disgusting while I eat, but I can't stop. I make up a diet and say I'll stick to it, but I don't.
Now, while I do have a therapist, I've never really brought this up to him. I don't see himagain for a few months and he has no email I can contact; my only line would be through phone, which I'd need to tell my mom to call him. She's never been 'understanding', always calls me fat etc, even when I'm not binging she tells me I'm overeating.
So my question is, is this a problem? Is it one I should really be worried about? Is tehre anything I can do at home before going to therapy?
I think it is important that you find a therapist that can be there for you NOW. and if it isn't someone that you can talk to about almost everything that is bothering you then they probably are not the right therapist for you.
also, i am so sorry that your mom calls you fat. i can't begin to imagine how hard that must be to have that stress at home. you should receive nothing but support from your family and they should tell you how beautiful you are everyday.
and if you cant find yourself sticking to a diet, i would suggest taking smaller steps. because no one can change their whole life in one day. but doing small, manageable things each day can give you the confidence and the feeling that you can do anything and then you can begin to achieve bigger things, like going on a diet. because a diet should not be a diet, it should be a lifestyle that you are willing to live by.
hang in there and im here for you