Constant joint pain and fatigue ?

I am 23 and am starting to get scared about having lupus. the doctors told me they have no idea if I have it or not. my dad had lupus, ryders syndrome, and died from melanoma. I have always had a weak immune system and had my tonsils taken out when I was 20 because I was sick at least once a month and it was interfering with my work. the constant colds and flues stopped after I had them taken out, but now my glands are almost always swollen and I feel as though im on the verge of getting sick all the time. I sleep a lot because of this and feel as though I cant do the same things as people my age for fear that I will get sick.
I have been having joint pain for about 4 years and its getting progressively worse. my hands swell at the joints and turn red when I am in pain and its usually one joint at a time or two joints and my wrist. when they began hurting the pain would only bother me when it was cold out or raining, but then it slowly started to bother me all the time. I have pain in my hands about 70-80 percent of the time. its worse in the mornings and especially painful if my bones get cold.
I have been tested for arthritis and all the tests came back negative. I have also been tested for lupus and those tests have come back negative. the doctors told me that it could be lupus but there is no way of telling if my tests will come back positive in the future.
I was wondering if there was anyone that has the same symptoms as me or if there is anyone that started with the same symptoms and what it ended up as. I don't know what to do to get my hands to stop hurting. the doctors told me to take ibuprofen but I don't want to live on it. I want to figure out what is wrong. if anyone can help me by telling your experiences it would be very helpful.
Thanks so much
K