No one can answer this for you, hon. This is something you need to think about and decide on your own.

You need to ask yourself some hard questions. Are you able to raise a child right now? Can you afford one? Will you have help available to you if you decide to keep this child? Would you be able to carry this child for 9 months and give it to another couple? Do you think you could cope with an abortion?

These are questions that only you can answer. Don't let anyone else decide for you - not your parents, not your boyfriend - because at the end of the day, it'll be you that has to pay the price for your decision. You'll be the one up in the middle of the night with a child. Or you'll be the one crying over the abortion if it's not right for you. This decision needs to be yours.

Take your time and really think about this.

thank you so much and i will carefully think about it bcuz for now i really dont no wat to do. i want to have a baby so so bad but not right now and not with him. maybe wen i have a stable job and a supportive partner.

I think your a very smart girl. You've thought of all of your options I assume and have ruled out both private and open adoption of your child. No one can tell you what to do or how to do it. This is your body, your baby. You have to make this choice and it has to be the one that is best for you and that you'll be able to live with, no regrets. If you want to talk at any time just send me a mesg. I'm ava. to listen.

Have you placed a child for adoption ???? Please dont tell anyone to do that if you yourself have not.

isn't adoption better than abortion? at least it gives the child a choice of life. i understand it can be a heart wrenching experience for the mother but only out of true love & respect from the mothers own feelings, it's not as selfish as abortion can be!

We have adoption in my family. My father was adopted, a 1/2 brother and two sisters were adopted, I also have several cousin's who were adopted. I'll ask you the same question you asked me...have you yourself given a child of your body into the care of a person or persons who are uanble to have children of their own? Is it a sore subject for you? There is nothing wrong with adoption if it is what she chooses to do, It is her choice to decide what is right for her to do and only her. As is the same for every other female in a like situation.
The ideal situation is for her be have a job she loves to do and a loving supportive partner to stand by her side and give as much as she is, that is not the case here, she is scared and confused and worried about what she should do and I think she is extremely smart for thinking of all her options and knowing what all of her choices are. She is hopefully well informed and will be able to make the right choice for both her and this baby and both of their futures. I will repeat my offer to listen if she wants to talk and anyone else who does as well.

Oh my gosh! I am 20 & 2 months pregnant and in THE SAME position as you with regards to the guy. I have been with my ex since I was 17 & even lived with him for 2 years.. we broke up but were still seeing ecah other. People are rude and give nasty comments as they have no idea about the bond & friendship we have/had... I'm sure you feel the same on this.

I am in the same boat with him wanting me to have an abortion and telling me and making me feel exactually the same.

Honey I wish I could be there for you more than just this forum as I know how scary and alone it feels. I'm also driving myself crazy with what to do. But unlike you I am in the middle of my education I have recently been made unemployed due to the financial climate & cutbacks... & am desperatly trying for a job. So feel totally helpless.

One day I feel its not fair for my child to be born into such an unstable enviroment.. with no money, I have no family support at all & live with & care for my elderly grandmother, am in the middle of education... All I want is whats best for my baby- I cant even think about me.

Other days I feel so easily manipulated by my ex & some nasty, controlling people. I know I will be a fantastic mother, I love my child more than anything & will fight to make things work, also there is no assurance that I will ever be financially stable but also that I will be poor forever.

I hope that you havnt gone through with the abortion- without looking at things for lots of angles. I feel the same I don't fully trust what my ex says, so listen to your gut, its a warning. I know its hard, but I just try to keep telling myself 'why allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.'

Be honest to yourself could you live with yourself after an abortion? How are you going to feel when you wake up after the abortion?... & a year later? Have you thought about adoption. Have you looked into benefits that you'll be entitled to with a child? I'm in England so not sure where you are and if its different? Write a list or do a mind map... of what you want your life to be like in 5 years time.... all you want to achieve and do so pretending your not pregnant... then do another with all the same things you want but imagine a 4-5year old in your life, could you work around that to achieve all you want in life? Which one are YOU more happy in?

Remember life is NOT filled with ANY Certainties or guarantees all we can do is do what feel right emotionally and logically, and always strive & fight to do what is best.

I hope this is of some help no matter how small. Sorry it is rather an essay.

Sending my thoughts and hug to you wherever you are. If you wish to talk more and in private please let me know.

I think the mind map thing is a really good idea. I got pregnant at age 19 and even though I wasnt done with school and I was only working part time, I had an absolutely beautiful baby girl who is the love of my life. Her father and I are not together and it did take me 5 years to finish college, but I got it done. Today I am working full time and have a bachelors degree with hope of getting a masters and my daughter starts pre-k next year... I couldnt be happier.

All these people that tell you "you should have a loving, happy, supportive partner at your side..." might be right for their situation. I didn't. The father of my child wasnt supportive and did ask me to have an abortion. I refused and we split up.

It's just me and my baby girl and we are very happy and healthy.

Adoption can be hard. I know that if I carried full term there would be no way I could ever give up my child. I'd keep no matter what, if I'd got that far. But if there is open adoption in your country consider it.

BUT I was 'forced' into having the abortion after being violently pushed around and scared silly. I am so weak. It is the biggest mistake of my life. On top of that they messed it up left the baby in me... I collapsed 9 days after hemoraged was apparently brought back with resuscitation, woke up after 24hrs in intensive care unit, 1 blood transfusion, suffered an infection, grief... finally off iv drip now on injections and 9 pills 4 times a day. Still in hospital had to have three operations and the scarring is so bad its going to be very hard to get pregnant ever again.

Let me just say to anyone reading this. NO MATTER HOW BAD ITS SEEMS being pregnant and young, alone, poor with no support, no family help is damn scary. BUT ITS FAR WORSE GIVING IN. I should have taken more beatings, got a restraining order, moved away, I should have done more. All I can think about now is my baby. I can't sleep, don't want to do anything, almost killed myself then realised why commmit another 'sin' even though I'm not very religious I know what I did was wrong. My angel, I'll never get to hold in my arms, see the smile, hear their laugh, watch them take their first steps, be a mother.

When you are pregnant and loose a child by miscarriage or choice, there becomes an empty cave inside you, you loose a sense of worth, the grief is immense and guilt, and there is a part of you that can never be filled or will never be the same again. Everywhere I look women are pregnant, things smell of 'baby' or child adverts are everywhere. Half of me died with my child and I'll never ever get that back. Please I don't want anyone to ever, ever, ever feel this way!

On top of all that, the father. My best friend in the world, who had been with almost 4years. The guy I had lived with for two years, whom we had a bond no one would ever understand unless being in a similar position as we had split up but remained close.... He NEVER came to the hospital when I needed blood & had to be brought back to life. He was informed and even called as he has a blood type I can have. He beat me, bullied me and pushd me into having the abortion. Even held me down in the waiting room chair when I was kicking out trying to run out as I didn't want to go through (yes I should have fought harder)... Well I awoke in hospital with a text saying 'I wont pretent i wana see u fine but the way i feel thats jus it i hope u get better but i dont want u in my life or anything to do with u. U did what was needed so now i can get on with my life, i dnt want anything more. sorry its like this.' I never did it for 'him' I did it as I have no family or support I live with my elderly gran who is very ill who I care for and became very stressed upset and dissppointed when I became pregnant wanted me to move out loose all contact if I kept, the father wanted rid, his family harrassed me turned up called, texts, followed bullied me, he was violent. I have no money recently made redundent had applied to so many jobs but failed due to recessions. Fathers dad is a top maisonary and I was warned that I had to get rid or I would 'have no life'. When I went to the police things got worse for cars outside house all time, stalkers. Yet I still regret what I did I should have run away. Even died for my child at least that way I tried... Please listen to your gut ands inner voice girls and no matter what DO WHAT RIGHT FOR YOU AND ONLY YOU.

The decision to terminate a pregnancy can absolutely never be about your needs. Once you decide to carry a child to term either to raise it yourself or give it up to adoption you are responsible for a human life and every life that comes after it. Every misery it endures and every life it touches is because of your inaction. If you know you cannot take responsibility and provide the life that person deserves once it is born then you should think seriously about abortion.