Given the situation, gastric bypass does seem like an important option to have on the table, though it sounds like the docs won't do it.
Obviously, the weight is making matters worse. I really feel for you and your husband. He's so young.
I would really look carefully into a low-carb diet that includes veggies, fruit and meat. Just take out the sugars and flour and that should help with the weight--you'd be amazed. There is evidence that low carb is heart healthy, and what could be the harm of taking out flours and sugar? Google "Krauss carbohydrates" to find some studies on how low-carb is heart healthy.
Also, take a look at Gary Taube's book Good Calories, Bad Calories. It may make your diet options clearer. For excellent recipes, have a look at The Fat Resistance Diet by Leo Galland. He lays about a fantastic eating plan that is so appealing.
Wish you both the best.