Okay short intro: broke up with my ex, hen met my present boyfriend- we deliberately tried to take things slow, although not sure if that happened, but I've had an amazing 6 months with him, and I think he has with me too.
My bf has given meso much confidence in my self, and after 4 years of feeling rather depressed and insecure, he finally made me come out of myself, be the girl I once was; I can't even begin to describe how happy I've been. After 3 months he told me he loved me through a slip of the tongue, and I knew I loved him too, I just hadn't said anything because, as I said, we were taking things slow, and I didn't want to scare him off. So for the last three months we've been very openly in love.
Then the other night my bf told me that he's so in love with me, it scares him, and he doesn't know if he wants to get out now, or stay with me and see if "I am The One".
Anyway, we sorted it and we've worked out that he is insecure under all his arrogance, mostly because he's afraid of either me hurting him, or him meeting someone else and hurting me. Also he may be moving far away from me when he graduates, may even go to America, and he's worried about what that'll do to us. I'm the type of girl who takes each day as it comes.
But now everything he said has shaken me up so badly I just don't know if I can be the same with him now; I'm so scared because he knows he instigates us meeting up,and if anything he admitted HE'S the clingy one. And yet he thinks Im coming on too strong, but he can't say what I'm doing to make him think that, and I don't think I am. He also believes I love him more than he loves me.
Obviously this has cut me very deeply, and I'm gonna deal with it, but it's like he's led me to believe he cared more: after my last disasterous relationship I didnt want to get in so deep, and he'd finally convinced me to let my guard down and get comfortable, then all of a sudden thrown my feelings for him back in my face. I can actually physically feel every happy memory slipping away, and I'm heartbroken. I can also feel every inch of confidence slipping away, and all those insecurities about myself not being good enough sliding back in place.
And yet after all this he then proceeded to ask me to meet his parents and all his best friends back home this xmas. He also told me he CAN see me being 'the one'.
I'm just so CONFUSED!!! We've solved HIS insecurites and problems through talking, but he's not very good at the vice vesa, so while he's all happy joe, I'm hurt and confused and just need someone to TELL me what to do or what's wrong etc. Talking to HIM about it is useless cos he rarely expresses how he feels, and when he does it's often reluctant.
Please help, somebody. I just want the hurt and insecurities to go away; I want to feel as happy as I did again.
He is not being fair to you, and you owe it to yourself to find out whay you are having insecurities as well. You mentioned he would be leaving and coming to e US..........long distance relationships out a strain on both parties. I am not sure if either of you even understand some of the feelings that go along with this. You have only been together a little over 6 months. It is great you have your self esteem and confidence back, yet, you feel so hurt and confused. I think its time you told this 'boyfriend" that you need for him to just listen. If nothing else, type out what you've written or print this and show it to him. If he has to read it, then he won't "interrupt". By reading this , he will know what is in your heart. If he does not listen and oyu still have these feelings you need to ask yourself, is this the way I want it to be? Because, if he's not willing to listen and show you the respect you have given him, thats just selfish. Love is give and take...... I also feel he is sending mixed signals????????????? Just my opinion!
Lol Why cant men just do what we want without question???
Sorted things with my bf. He's having a small insecurity complex, and he's let his worries build up and up and up until it all poured out at the wrong time to the wrong person. I made his listen to me by catching him off guard lol- crept into his room at the crack of dawn, woke him up, so before he could start 'thinking' again, I told him how I felt. He just put his arms round me with tears in his eyes and said he never wanted this to end.
So very happy things are looking up for the two of you! If its meant to be, things always work through! That ws really clever you doing the "sneak attack" to express your feelings! Chalk yourself up some stars for that! Catch him before his brain has time to sort it all out!!!!!!!!!!! That was PRICELESS! HUGS! FGM