I am 23 and utterly confused about who I am. The longest boyfriend I have had is 2months as I tend to get out of the relationship before things become serious in anyway. I have never had sex and the last time I kissed someone was 3 years ago. I hardly ever find guys attractive. When a guy starts chatting me up I usually just blow them off and get myself out of the situation.
The few crushes I have had have been on friends I have known for a long time and they have developed but even when I have a crush on them I’m still not really that attractive to them.
The past year I have become really good friends with a girl I work and like boys I don’t find her physically attractive either. I do find myself thinking about her when I go to sleep and wondering what it would be like to kiss her.
Now that may sound like I might be a lesbian but deep down inside I don’t think I am that goes about being straight as well I don’t think I’m that either.
A lot of my friends are gay and are convinced I am gay to and that I just haven’t come out yet or that I just don’t know that I am yet. I go to a lot of gay clubs and get chatted up and just like when I guy tries to chat me up I completely blow them off.
I have some feelings towards guys and some towards girls over the last year is gone more towards the girls though (I feel that’s because of the girl I work with). I only get these feelings when I have known the person for a while. It’s never like damn there hot and I’m instantly attracted to one sex or the other.
The thought of having sex with a guy or a girl really does nothing for me.
I think it’s been so long now that the thought of having a relationship with a guy or girl scares the crap out of me and I would rather be alone. Thing is my own company is boring the life out of me now and at 23 you would think I would of gotten my !**@! together by now and be like many of my mates who are moving in and starting a life with their partners.
Does this make sense to anyone or am I destining to be alone and completely confused forever.