Concussion number five, first time for TBI

I am a 41 year old female serving in the military. I am very active and put myself out there by virtue of my activities to stay in shape. When I was 16 a folding pressed wood door fell on my head, the second one I had a really bad headache so I went to the ER, they gave me vicadin and sent me home. I told them I was alone and couldn't drive on vicadin. They let me sleep for 3 hours, not enough time and sent me home. I passed out on the hardwood floor split me head open and went back to the ER this was number 2, conducting martial arts in Iraq (training) I got number 3. In 2008 I was riding my bike and was t- boned by a Lincoln Town car going 45 mpg. I was airborn 53 feet. I was wearing a helmet, I think in this one they were concerned with my other injuries. My last one I was rollerblading on 10 Aug 2011 and wiped out. I was not wearing a helmet because I was born in 70 and I wouldn't think of wearing a helmet on blades, just didn't wear one when I was younger, no one did. So I blacked out and didn't realize I did until later, I was alone with my dog. I was nauseous and running stop signs and couldn't keep up with my brain. I am in school with a really heavy workload, I was stressed but some how it dawned on me that I needed to go to the ER.CT scan didn't reveal anything. I was given vicadin an told to rest Sat and Sun and return to school Mon. I mad an Appt with my primary care doc, she said I was l very anxious and I failed the office coordination tests. She sent me to the Traumatic Brain Injury Clinic, had an MRI the doc said he could see that I had been injured but he didn't see anything surprising. I was sent to a hospital closer to my house to receive treatment. I have the most wonderful team of doctors and therapists. My MD prescribed a medicine to put my brain to sleep at night. It helps but I still wake up every night. I am starting to wake up earlier 0430 today, I go to bed early. It hurts my head to be on the computer, I can't watch tv I can't focus, can't read. I don't watch tv to go to sleep. I listen to classical music, I have a physical therapist, an occupational therapist, a social worker, and a speech therapist. I have learned relaxation techniques and try to remember to use them, that is hard. I have been on convalescent leave for 45 days. I can't do anything except for walk in the woods and sit on the deck at night. I now stutter, they say it isn't permanent. I can't remember anything, I have headaches, I am grinding my teeth at night I think because my jaw hurts. I am used to exercising 5-6 days per week, I am totally type A. I wake up each morning fired up wanting to be normal. I make a long list of things to do and can't do many of them because I get tired. I seem to really relax by the simple things outdoors. I feel like I may implode. I don't at all see myself putting on my uniform again, they say I will but I don't see it so I try not to think about it. I don't want to socialize because I am self conscious about stuttering and I don't feel as though I have any filters. My thoughts are discombobulated. Thank God I have my dog, I swear he is helping me heal. I used to laugh and be silly and be fun. Now it hurts my head to struggle to put words together to speak. I am so frustrated. I am so tired of people trying to help and offer suggestion, I feel rage and anger, I drive very, very aggressively - thank god this has gotten better. I keep spending money on stuff I don't need. They say that a traumatic event can bring up all previous traumas and overwhelm. The hardest part about this is that most military people get concussed by IED 's in the combat zone, not me, roller blading. I have to keep my heart rate at 120 or below so that isn't strenuous exercises, that is ok with me but I used to manage stress by exercising. I am frustrated and scared I guess