i give up on this subject,i dont think telling someone to keep their legs in the air is letting them know other options.I will just avoid the treads in this forum that relate to this good luck with everything marie

im not trying to cause issues. im just trying to help her with the original question she asked. im not concerned with if its right or wrong, because everyone has different beliefs. maybe i should stay away from threads like this too. to avoid any controversy.

this site is for girls who are in this situation and need help. Not ones who are trying to concieve underage because they feel they need it. I can guarantee you Mariee its not just getting up forever at night, life is a struggle, and most of the girls on here arent adults. We are teens and we have been there. We arent 30-somethings with a husband and children for the most part, we are still young ourselves who have had it hard, some of us had babys dads leave, some on medicare and wic, some struggling to provide the neccestites for our child. We are in a situation that you yourself will be in very soon and im sorry if you think we are trying to be bossy but we are merely telling her she has no idea what shes getting into, no mother does and it is not as easy as it might look on the surface. My son gets colds, has allergies, needs food and blankets, needs attention 24 hours a day. Its not a part time thing. you got into a situation and im glad you are dealing with it, but the OP is trying t place herself in a difficult situation and regardless because of her age is going to be at a predisposition for failure unless she has it in her to bite, scrape, and claw her way to everything she has. Im sorry but its hard enough at 19 to do it, and at 16 its going to be pretty close to impossible.

well, ive known people who did it. its not impossible. it just takes a little encouragement. not critisism...

It shouldn't be encouraged. Teens who have unplanned pregnancies need support and encouragement. Teens who are activley trying to get pregnant need to be told the true reality of the situation.

And life should be more than constantly fighting to get by. There's nothing wrong with waiting to have children and that should be encouraged if the person is still a teen.

just because this girl sounds ready, like kyra said, it does not mean she is.

i thought i had everything i needed to know and was ready for what was coming into my life.
but i was in no way ready for what was about to come into the world.
and you throwing messages like 'why not throw a little excitment into your life' Mariee, does not show any maturity on your part.
a child is not fun and games, "excitment" 24/7.
its hard work, sleepless nights, A TON! of money, a huge responsibility and then some!
no it is not impossible, but those who have been there done that or are in the middle of doing that know how hard it is and personally, think someone young PLANNING a teen pregnancy is bonkers!
we know the struggles, the hard times, the stress, fatigue etc. and would not wish that onto anyone else, nor would we want anyone else willingly plan this.
yes teens pull through, but i am sure most of us would have rather done things differently, wait longer, have a baby in their 20's be married first maybe..i know i wish these things, doesnt mean i dont love my son, but i would have rather had my life together and things prepared and planned instead of how things happened.

those people you know who have done it, being pregnant and a teen parent, yeah they may have made it, but i doubt that they shared the struggles they went through with you. no ones life is an open book for all to see mariee, and you should talk to a few teen mothers on here and learn exactally how hard their life was or is as a teen mother.

well seems as it such a struggle surley it would be best to go through while your still young and energetic where you can bouce back and deal with the lack of sleep!! the body is designed to have children while your at your peak of fertility i.e before your 24 after which yoru chances of concieving are halfed! everyone has the choice as to when they want children and one of your human rights is the right to found a family assuming that both partners are of the legal age of consent. so therefore if a teenager above eth age of consent decides she wants a family it is her human right and it has to be respected that this is thier choice however hard life may be for them!

To danni that is total rubbish you chance of conception are not halved at 24!!!!!and yes your right it is your choice but we live in a free world hunny and if you want to talk about it on here you can expect some valid opinions in return,i seriously advice you to do some fertillity reasearch before you go telling false facts if some young teen were to read that what might they go out and do just because they heard some false fact from a young girl desperate to justify herself,You dont have to justify yourself to anyone on here or in the world just listen to their opinion and if you dont agree move on its really not personal people only really want to help although it may not seem that way now it will do oneday good luck with everything

sooo true....im 18 and 5 weeks pregnant and i would never get an abortion so- im gunna have to grow up fassst which i wasnt countiung on. saying that im exciteed =) about this (always wanted something that would love me unconditionally and did me no wrong but 16 is tooo young! i didnt have sex till i was 17 nearly 18 let alone 16! sorry not judging but what are you motives in life? where do you wanna be in 10 years? dont you have plans you wanna fuffil first? live and let live. your baby will come when the time is right =)

Danni, where did you read that? You don't reach your fertility peak until your late 20's and it doesn't start to decline until you're in your 30's.

And even if the peak was at age 24, why then would anyone try for a child 8 years earlier than that?

i am floored to read your response danny.
i am 19 and i wish i had all that "energetic" spunk you speak of.
yes im young, but a child drains the energy right out of you.
everytime my son cries it feels like there are 20 hot lamps shining over me and the heat is cranked full blast! my body is not what it used to be now, nor will it ever be again, and that is because i do not get the full nights sleeps like i used to.
when you are deprived of sleep your body does not function properly, so there is no energetic bounce to your step 24/7 hun!

your advice is very wrong. you should read up on that.
you could be influencing all young girls on here to go out there and have a child now while their young because look out! by your 20's your done! WRONG!
and another thing, yes it is someones choice to have a child when they want to, but more plays into the fact of if they are of legal age to have a child and want to.
where is the money going to come from when they concieve this child, who is going to take care of this child, where are they going to live with this child, how are they going to bring in an income to raise this child? if the answers are, they live at home, do not pay rent, still are in school, do not have well paying jobs...guess what, the parents of these young teens will be left taking care of their "wanted" and "ready to have" child. is that fair on those parents? i dont think so, or they will go on wellfare and take money not from the govornment, but from the people who work hard to support and raise their own families.
sure anyone can have a child, but can they raise that child on their own is the big issue here danni, and i think you are forgetting that fact.

i read in in the btec national diploma health and social care book!!!!

im not forgetin any facts if someone wants a child then they should be prepared to face up to the consequences such as needing a place to live an should have already thought about how they will support their child. if the child is really wanted then tehy should have already thought about this. i dont agree with people sponging of the government after all its our hard earned money thier handing out to people who have never worked a day in thier lives.

but danni, with your earlier comment, you are making it seem like its no big deal and no sweat.
when it is a huge deal, and not all teens who come on here wanting a child think of these consequences or plan a head, after all most are just kids and do not think everything through.
your info is still wrong, if it were true there would not be women in their 40's having children, and women in their 30's would not be having kids either.
have you talked about any of this with your parents?
you still have not answered some questions i have asked you.

some teens just want something to love, care for and recieve unconditional love, and that is not how a child should be brought into the world, but your response is saying who cares! its a free for all here!
if you are not missing out any facts, then your previous post should have said something about planning ahead and not just jumping the gun.

IM sorry about the "excitement" comment. It was simply sarcasm, and I stated that after I said that.

Well it's wrong! or you read it wrong i did some reasearch myself to set the record straight the following sentance is a fact Women under 25 years of age have a 96% chance of getting pregnant within a year of trying. Women age 26-34 have an 86% chance, and women 36-44 have a 78% chance of getting pregnant within a year. hope this helps

an article i found..

What Is The Best Age for Getting Pregnant?

Age does play an important role in getting pregnant. Whether you are fit for your age, and whether or not you look like your age, your body indeed knows exactly how old you are. Your reproductive system knows it, too.

The optimum age for fertility for women begins at the age of 18. Until about the age of 25, women will be at their most fertile, and most likely to get pregnant. Beginning around 25 or 26, a woman’s fertility starts to decline. This decline is relatively gradual for the next ten years, however. It is not until the age of 35 that the process of losing fertility begins to speed up more rapidly. By the time a woman reaches the age of 40, she is exponentially more likely to have problems getting pregnant. In fact, around 2/3 of women who are over the age of 40 will have issues with infertility of some sort or another.

To be sure, statistics are just statistics. It is possible, obviously, to become pregnant before the age of 18. In fact, a woman can become pregnant as soon as she starts to ovulate. In some girls, this can occur as early as age 11. On the other end of things, it is definitely possible for a woman who is 50 to become pregnant. In fact, a woman can become pregnant right up until she stops ovulating (which is generally indicated by the onset of menopause).

Men’s bodies work a little differently. Male fertility is generally high all the way until they are near the end of their thirties. By the age of 50, around a third of men will experience a decrease in the amount or number of sperm that are produced. Still, two thirds of men will not experience any loss of fertility until they are even much older than that.

Having said all of this, the “best” age for getting pregnant may or may not be when you are most fertile. Getting pregnant at 18, for example, can create a variety of problems, as can getting pregnant later in life. It may not be ideal for a woman to become pregnant when she is most fertile. She may wish to spend some time working on her career or pursuing advanced educational goals before becoming pregnant. Therefore, the “best” age is really up to the individuals involved.

another article..

Women are Urged to Conceive Earlier: Why?

Mothers Day' is a day to celebrate the joy of motherhood and many mothers will receive gifts from their offspring to demonstrate their appreciation. But it will also be a poignant and sensitive day for many women who want to have a family but have not been successful in achieving their dearest wish.

Increasingly, women have decided to start their family later to allow time to complete and further their education, to develop their career or because they have just not met the right man. While this is understandable, it flies in the face of the fact that as a woman ages, her fertility declines. An increasing number of women, who have delayed motherhood are finding that when they decide the time is right for a baby, conception just does not happen easily in the way that they had expected.

"I constantly meet young women who do not realise that by delaying motherhood they are increasing their chances of not becoming a mother at all" says Gedis Grudzinskas. "The average age that a woman has her first child is now over 31 and rising, not an ideal age, according to the scientific evidence. At 27 years of age a woman's fertility will start to decline and after 35 the rate of decline increases very substantially."

"Women who have difficulty conceiving, are generally coming into private fertility clinics after their mid-thirties and slightly earlier in the public sector. But this again is late, because they are starting serious investigation and treatment at a time when their fertility is really declining.

"It is also wrong to believe that IVF technology will provide an easy answer. While it is certainly helpful, it is not always a simple matter and couples can find it quite stressful."

"In addition to the problems of conceiving, it is also often not realised that the woman's general health may not be as good as it was in her earlier years, the miscarriage rate is higher and more women also have the problem of endometriosis. It is also more likely that the birth may be complicated, miscarriage is more common and the baby's birth weight may be lower."

"With so much evidence showing the disadvantages of waiting till later to start a family, I would strongly advise any young woman not to delay pregnancy. Careers, travel and material success can wait. One day you will want to celebrate Mothers' Day as a mother and not only as an opportunity to give your own mother the flowers and appreciation that she no doubt deserves."

Note

- Gedis Grudzinskas, MD FRCOG, formerly Emeritus Professor of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at St Bartholomew's Hospital, London, is a leading figure in the fields of Reproductive Medicine, Surgery and Obstetrics and Gynaecology and as a co-founder and medical director of one of the largest NHS and private IVF clinics in Europe. He has spent over 20 years pioneering fertility treatment aimed at providing easy access to first class care in the NHS and independent sector and calling for higher stands.

- Now in consultant gynaecology and infertility practice in Harley Street, he also leads a new team of independent, multi-disciplinary, international fertility experts, at Fertility Focus Professional Services, to offer advice to clinics on how to improve their IVF success rates.

now, with those 2 article posted... here is my 2 cents. i think ACTIVELY trying to conceive before youre 18 is not the smarted decision to make. most articles i found say to wait until youre 18, although it is possible to conceive as young as 11. ive read articles that show the miscarriage and maternal death rate for girls 15 and younger is phenomenal because their bodies are not capable or mature enough to handle such stress.

on the other hand, i cant be too hypocritical. i had my son when i was 17. we definitely werent planning on ever have kids.. but, it happened. i wouldnt take him back for the world. yes, its been tough... but NO ONE on this planet has the right to tell someone how hard it really is, because everyones situation is different. i have been piss ass broke since i was 20. it has nothing to do with my son and me having his so early (i finished high school and got an associates degree)... its just the job market where i live. kids cost a lot of money and keep you up at night... but no one can deny how beautiful and great it is to be a parent. when they are older you will look back and realize that those nights when you forfeited the $20 you saved up to FINALLY get your hair done, so that your kid could get a new toy.. or the day you spent with them at chuck-e-cheese even though you really didnt have the money to spend there... it was all totally worth being tired and poor. because those simple things made your kid happy even though it stretched your wallet and your time.

if someone, regardless of age, feels that they are ready to be a mother/father/whatever... then just let them. ive said this before in here.... this persons decision has no affect on your life or my life. the only people that are affected are the poster and her family. and if they are supportive and say she can get married and have a kid... then let her. it isnt like shes going to be knocking on your door and making you watch her kid or asking if she can borrow $50 from you. i think she is a little young to be actively trying to have a baby... but if it happens, it happens. and if it doesnt, then it just wasnt meant to be..

The point is that its better to wait until your life is stable and set before planning to start a family. That way you don't need to choose between a new toy for your child and a haircut-- not that you, chrisseeg, planned for it to happen. I want to make it clear that your situation is entirely different than what everyone's talking about. I have nothing but respect for you.

Obviously its possible to get by. But wouldn't you think its better to wait until you have a nice home, a hefty savings account for emergencies, a stable job that offers benefits and good pay, and a car you can rely on?

That's the only point everyone is trying to make. Physically, DUH you can have a carry a child to term and produce a healthy, breathing child at the age of 16, but you can get more out of life by waiting just a few more years until you can get everything set right down to enough money that both you and your child can have essentials and then some.

And saying that teen pregnancy doesn't really affect someone is a little shortsighted.