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Communicating with bipolar people

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LIST OF THINGS NOT TO SAY TO SOMEONE WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER:

"What's your problem?"
'Will you stop that constant whining?"
'What makes you think that anyone cares?"
"Have you gotten tired yet of all this me-me-me stuff?"
"You just need to give yourself a kick in the rear"
"But it's all in your mind"
"I thought you were stronger than that"
"No one ever said life was fair"
"Pull yourself up by your bootstraps"
"Why don't you just grow up?"
"Stop feeling sorry for yourself"
"There are a lot of people worse off than you"
"You have it so good - why aren't you happy?"
"What do you have to be depressed about?"
"You think you've got problems..."
"Well at least it's not that bad"
"Lighten up"
"You should get off all those pills"
"You are what you think"
"Cheer up"
"You're always feeling sorry for yourself"
"Why can't you just be normal?"
"You need to get out more"
"Get a grip"
"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be"
"Get a job"
"You don't 'look' depressed"
"You're just looking for attention"
"Everybody has a bad day now and then"
"Why don't you smile more?"
"A person your age should be having the time of their life"
"The only one you're hurting is yourself"
"You can do anything you want if you just set your mind to it"
"Depression is a symptom of your sin against God"
"You brought this on yourself"
"Get off your rear and do something"
"Snap out of it"
"You're always worried about your problems"
"Just don't think about it"
"Go out and have some fun"
"Just try a little harder"
"I know how you feel - I was depressed once for several days"
"You'd feel better if you went to church"
"Poop or get off the pot"
"What you need is some real tragedy in your life to give you perspective"
"This too shall pass"
"Go out and get some fresh air"
"We all have our cross to bear"
"You don't like feeling that way? So change it"
"You're a real downer to be around"
"You are embarrassing me"
"You'd feel better if you lost some weight"
"You're too hard on yourself. Quit being such a perfectionist"
"Don't take it out on everyone else around you"
"You are going to lose a lot of friends if you don't snap out of this"
"You're dragging me down with you"
"You're just being immature"
"You are your own worst enemy"
"That is life - get used to it"
"My life isn't fun either"
"You don't care about the rest of us - you're so self-absorbed"

LIST OF THINGS TO SAY TO SOMEONE WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER:

"I love you"
"I care"
"You're not alone in this"
"I'm not going to leave/abandon you"
"Do you want a hug?"
"You are important to me"
"If you need a friend..."
"It will pass, we can ride it out together"
"When all this is over, I'll still be here"
"You have so many extraordinary gifts - how can you expect to live an ordinary life?"
"I'm sorry you're in so much pain. I am not going to leave you. I am going to take care of myself so you don't need to worry that your pain might hurt me"
"I listen to you talk about it, and I can't imagine what it's like for you. I just can't imagine how hard it must be"
"I can't really fully understand what you are feeling, but I can offer my compassion"
"I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I care about you and care that you are hurting"
"I'll be your friend no matter what"
"I cannot understand the pain you're in, I cannot feel it. But hold onto my hand while you walk through this storm, and I'll do my very best to keep you from slipping away"
"I'm never going to say, 'I know how you feel' unless I truly do, but if I can do anything to help, I will"
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First Helper Dayston
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replied April 11th, 2009
I'm bipolar and I have to laugh at the what not to say list. It is true but unless you KNOW someone is bipolar people are gunna say those things.
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replied May 24th, 2009
this is why...
I refuse to tell anyone that I have it besides my husband and two best friends. I don't want people to want to say things like that to me because I am worried that I will snap at them.
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replied June 13th, 2009
I tell people that I'm Bi-Polar all the time. I don't have a problem with it because ever since I was diagnosed, I just don't care what people think about me anymore. If they want to ask questions they can ask...if they offend me I tell them...then I go the bathroom and cry. j/k

I'd rather have people know, so they won't say anything stupid or offensive around me. But that's just how I feel.
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replied April 10th, 2012
How does a friend set boundaries?
The list of what to say makes me feel really guilty. My friend is bipolar and refuses to admit it or take medication. He rages. I ended up sending him an email saying I will not be yelled at, cussed at, belittled and that I was saying goodbye because he kept doing this to me and I found it unacceptable. I do not think I handled it correctly. I think I should have said I will come back when the behavior changes but this is the first manic episode I've been through with him and I had and still have no idea what is best for both him and me. I do not want to abandon him and would like to be friends but I cannot allow him to treat me like that either. What does a friend do in that situation?
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replied April 11th, 2012
Re: Communicating with bipolar people
Hi everyone, my name is Hero and have been diagnosed with Bi polar since 2009, can anyone tell me which is the best medication for treating bi polar. I'm gaining a lot of weight to the to the current medication I am taking.
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replied April 9th, 2014
Thank you for the list. These words of wisdom and encouragment will change relationships forever and for the better
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replied April 11th, 2014
Need advise talking to biopolar son
Need help with son who is bipolar, 44 years old, and does not feel he has a problem, will not take any meds, etc.

He lives alone in another state from me, his mom. I have taken so much verbal abuse, I do not know what to do.
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replied April 16th, 2014
Omg!my best.friend is bipolar.she will not go back on meds.we were/are in love?I love her but she's going thru it and has locked me out of her life for a few days due to.this episode.she has been laying in bed for two days.I don't have bipolar but I do suffer from severe depression so this hurts me so very deep...I just don't know what to do
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