I'm not bipolar, but have other medical issues. I had to come off all my meds and my symptoms returned two-fold. I know another person who has MS and they took her off all her meds. She had problems during pregnancy too. With ourselves, though not the babies. After birth, we both were eventually put back on our meds and we couldn't breast feed. YOu want a child, you do what you have to to bring that joy into your life.

i am bipolar and have tried to come off my meds to get pregnant. i went downhill fast so i had to get back on them. otherwise i would have lost my new job. i will try again though because i want children desperately. i am also challenged with fertility. i was infertile and had to have major fertility surgery. i found out i was bp after my surgery and had to go on the meds. very devastating time for me. it still hurts badly. i was infertile due to endometriosis. i'm having more surgery this november to treat the endo. i wish i could just not work and come off the meds... be crazy and have a baby. then get back on them after i breast feed for a few months. but that is not the hand that i've been dealt, unfortunately. i wish you the best of luck with this... i know it's very difficult and frustrating. puzzld

I am sorry for you going through that. You know, there is adoption. Hold on, don't get upset, please. I am 36 and looking into adopting. After our sone was born, my husband had a vasectomy. After our son died in 2006, (he was a year old), I wanted a son again. But, I cannot and will not put my husband through the surgery of reversing it, or the problems I had with both my pregnancies. I am talking myself into the adoption. It's hard to not have your own child, but then again, I see newborns that aren't wanted and I just want to take them all. Please be very careful. Take care of yourself.

thanks for the support katch =)

my husband and i are thinking about adoption. we are very open to it. i know in my head that i have to take care of myself first but it is hard sometimes... i will definitely take care of myself though.

i'm so very sorry about your son. i can't imagine the pain. but, you seen to have a great attitude. if you don't mind me asking, how did you and your husband cope with your loss? i hear that so many people end up divorced after the death of a child.

My husband was overseas, so death doesn't phase him. don't get me wrong, he was upset, but he became angry. I sought counseling. Mostly from my Priest. (i'm catholic) And I put all the love I was to give him towards other babies. IE: my friend is 7 months, and my sister is 5 or 6 months along. These babies will be SPOILED by me. I do have a lot of jealousy, though, when I see women who don't "deserve" to be pregnant and I wish that I had another chance at a son of my own. I also have twin 5 yr olds that are also miracle babies. They weren't suppose to survive either. But, now they are in kindergarten and I volunteer alot. I basically put myself in situations that I don't think about it. My Priest said that my husband and I were definitely meant to be together because most couples would have been divorced by now. If it's meant that I have another child (whether through adoption or my own), it's God's will. If not, then, I just keep having these feelings and put that extra love towards the girls and other babies.

yeah... i guess you can't just fall to pieces having 2 other children. i'm catholic, too and believe that if it's meant to be then it will happen one way or another. i get jealous too about moms that don't want to be moms and have like 20 kids. it seems like everyone around me is getting pregnant and having babies! but i am 33 so that's to be expected i suppose. puzzld

as my Priest always tell me: be patient. I tell him: "better said than done". everyone around me is getting pregnant too. Sometimes it seems like a slap in the face. Neither pregnancy was easy and even though the twins survived, it still isn't easy. Developmental delays, ect. I have to be strong to get them to stand on their own two feet because of their delays. but, I still break down EVERY DAY when I am alone. I just give a false front .

completely understandable katch. so sorry you have to go through this... i just can't imagine. they say time heals all wounds... i'm still waiting, too. puzzld

good luck. May God grant you what you wish

i just want a baby so bad that i am willing to sacrifice my own health. i know that this isn't the right thing to do but i can't help feeling this way. i have NO children and i'm 33. time is running out for me because i will have to have a hysterectemy soon because of my endometriosis. i can't let it spread to my other organs and there is no cure i just don't know what to do! i feel like i will never forgive myself if i don't come of the meds and have a baby... puzzld

that's ok. i understand and truthfully, you are putting up your body to bring a lovely child into the world. what's wrong with that? talk to your doctors. if my sister's sister-in-law can get off meds for MS, you can do it. it will be tough, but i have faith in you. you seem to be the type that really does derserve to have at least one. i was 30 before the twins. so don't fret about age. from my understanding, being pregnant helps endometriosis to an extent. so talk to all your docs. remember if you do deside and feel you can do it, do it. also, if you need to talk privately, go to my profile and e-mail me. i'm here for you. first step, though is to talk to the docs. weigh the risks and let me know. i'll be prayin for you.

thanks a lot katch =) i appreciate the support! much needed right now.

the problem is when i try to come off the meds i go downhill fast. and i have a job that i can't loose. staying on the meds is not an option for my husband and i because we would never do anything that might hurt a fetus. i have talked to my docs, psychiatrist... fertility doc... gyno, about my situation and they all have their own spin. i just don't know what to do. i feel like it's hopeless for me to have a child naturally. puzzld

how long can you afford to be off work? would talking help you at all if your off the meds? I wish I could be near you to help. hormones do alot to a body. what is it that would be the worst? I'll help you the best I can. I can see you would make a terrific mom. we can get through this together. i don't have any "instant chats" never on that much. but, i will help as much as you want and as much as i can. don't let these docs get you hopes completely shot. see what meds you can stay on for as long as you can and what meds you would definitely need to come off. you would need help for a couple of months after just to let the meds kick back in and breastfeeding would definitely be out, but that is ok. my twins, nor my son was breastfed. There might be alternative meds that aren't as "harsh" that can help you. please let me know. I'm rooting for you.

thank you so much for your kind words katch. they mean the world to me right now.

i can't afford to be off work at all unfortunately.

talking might help me when i'm off the meds but i just can't come off of them bc i have to work. the worst... not trying my best to get pregnant and ending up not being able to. the resentment, disappointment and regret.

it's all beyond my control. puzzld

things beyond your control is the worst. you can start by setting a budget for yourselfs so that if you do get pregnant, it's ok to be off work. do you know for sure if you can't get pregnant physically? it's ok to feel this way. I actually feel that way because i lost jonathan. now, i just can't work because of this dumb disease. i miss him so much and i know working would help a little. do you have a job that could possibly let you work from home? that's an alternative to look into. sometimes you even get paid more. look into that. i'll try to come up with some other things. and if worse comes to worse, there is always adoption. some females "accidentally" get pregnant and don't want to even think of taking the responsibility. they need a loving mother to nuture them. you'd be great even if he/she wasn't yours. i don't believe you would let that stop you from bonding. i'll keep looking for resources and try to come up with some ideas. i hope they help. katch

thanks katch...

i'll find out if i'm infertile again when i have my surgery nov 6th. they'll run some dye through my organs to see.

i've thought about working from home but i wouldn't be of much use without being on the meds. dunno what to do. i guess time will tell.

let me know how it goes. working from home, you can set your own schedule. it might be easier. keep me informed. i'm here for you.