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Q: combination of eating disorders
asked by: babyxcutexpants on May 4th, 2008
New User
I've developed my own kind of eating disorder over the past year. On good days, which vary from 5-6 times a week, I'll eat around 600-700 calories. However, on bad days, which I've been having way more frequently than I used to, I can eat somewhere between 2000 to 4000 calories. I used to be a little overweight, dropped about 30 lbs, gained 10 back, lost 5 more, gained 2 back.

I feel like a useless piece of fat crap. I haven't had my period since last July. I'm 15, I got my period when I was 11, and it was very regular up until then.

On Friday in school, I was sitting in my desk when I suddenly fainted. I've still been feeling dizzy and weak since then, and my heart is weirdly hurting. However, for the past three days I've been eating a lot - ranging from 1200 to maybe 2500 today.

Whenever I hang out with friends, we usually buy tons of crap food and just pig out. I hardly ever "binge" by myself. I started to binge with friends to almost prove to them that I didn't have an eating disorder because I was losing weight so rapidly, but now it's just out of control. I can't stop myself from just stuffing my face until my stomach is about ready to explode.

I don't know what's going on with my body - I'm confused, lonely, worried. I've been dealing with on and off depression. I have this need to be perfect - I just want to look effortlessly flawless to strangers and friends (most of my friends are skinny, tall and blonde), and I have no idea why. It's almost like a subconscious thing - As I'm typing this now, I know it seems silly and absurd but I just can't help it.

I don't know what I'd call myself, eating disorder wise. I don't know why I'm fainting or why I haven't had my period - I'd think that the "binge" days could lead to enough body fat to prevent those.

I'm so torn between caring and not caring. I don't want to gain weight and be fat again, but I don't want my life to cycle around dieting and calories. I want to enjoy just one or two slices of pizza without feeling guilty OR without shoving the whole thing down my throat. HELP!
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v00d00cita
replied on May 9th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
You should go to a doctor and ask for some exams in the first place.
You must be getting weak every day and probably you are losing vitamins and protein as well.
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blueyesmile
replied on May 11th, 2008
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i do the same thing. and i don't know what to do. i've been trying so hard to be 'normal' again. if someone has any suggestions...please help.
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v00d00cita
replied on May 11th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
You can get healthier, really. Now, you must seek professional help. You are aware of your problems, right? So that's one thing left for you to do Smile
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