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Close to 30 years old,no Girlfriend,still a virgin. So Depressed

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Hi All

This is the first time I’ve ever written on a public site but I felt, what the hell. I’m less than a month from my 30 birthday and I’m still single. I’ve never had a woman I can call my girlfriend and it making me sad Sad . When I was younger I was a big guy which meant that most women stayed away from me. I have a nice personality and a kind heart but this means that most women see me in the friend’s box, not boyfriend material. Last year I lost over 7 stone in weight in just one year which does make me feel better but I don’t seem to meet any women who want to go out with me. For the last few years I’ve been on a quest to improve myself. Reading, listening and researching everything I can get my hands on with regards to dating, self-improvement, fitness and fashion. But it all comes down to one thing, lack of a social life.

I wish I could find a lamp, rub it and request that I meet a woman who has a nice personality, was interesting to listen too and enjoys having fun. A woman who enjoys keep-fit and does not smoke would be a bonus!!!

Like most people, I’ve heard the same responds to my problem, i.e. give it time, you meet someone soon. Well, time waits for no one and I’m only getting older!

Thank you for reading this, it made me feel better just posting this.
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replied March 12th, 2010
I am pretty much in your situation. I am going to be 25 this year and have never had any kind of serious relationship with anybody. The most I have done with a girl is kiss and that's it.

You aren't alone. I'm trying to lose weight also, but that is really only part of it. Just try and expand your connections if you only hang out with a close group of friends so you can meet more people.

Try asking some people at work to hang out, or if you take any classes ask someone there. Just do what I am and try to make more friends so you can expand your connections so you can get out there more and meet more people. I am still working on it also but it's just some things I am trying out.

You should also check out the site sosuave.com. They give some great tips and there are many people on their boards on sosuave.net who have the same problems. It helps to read through the site first then go to the forums.

Best of luck to you.
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replied May 6th, 2010
you sound like you have a great personality and a good character.dont be sad. someone out there is waiting to meet you and be with you Smile

I am just trying to be optimistic, as I am also single right now. Ive never had a bf again since me and my last boyfriend broke up in 2006. There are times when I feel lonely, but yeah I guess it is part of nothaivng someone, and everywhere you look you see your friends all happy with their partners/bfs/gfs.

I have been reading books written by Andrew Matthews. Its a good book. You can check it out.
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replied June 5th, 2012
ya i know how you feel i am 20 years old going on 21 in september and whats worst my friend he is 17 and got him self a girl friend and we have a lot in common we are video game nerds and computer nerds that fix computers and like anime and girls stay away from us and now my friend that is a gamer nerd has a good looking girl friend lucky i still feel bad because i dont have one yet
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replied June 30th, 2012
Its gonna be hard for you to try to talk to women if you dont have much experience. I wont lie to you and say theres someone for everyone, because there isnt, but I will tell you one thing. If you relax and show confidence, talk about something that you're passionate about, it will be attractive to a girl.

However, I still refuse to approach attractive women for several reasons:
1. I get bitter when I get rejected
2. I dont trust women to be faithful.

I can't ever see myself happy...with or without a woman
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replied December 4th, 2012
Simple reply
Don't worry dude at least take comfort in the fact that you are not the only person facing this situation but there are many more like you out there with this same situation before them.Take my case.I am a guy 29 years of age a bachelor in the true sense of the word ,meaning that I have never had a girlfriend.I tried proposing my love to a friend, a girl only thing is she told me she considers me a good friend and that's all.See I am the type of friend who will be with a friend in his/her time of need and offer help and advice when most needed and maybe this is why she considered me as only her friend.But I have accepted that maybe I will be single for life and die alone in my old age without even a proper funeral i.e leaving my body to rot in my house till only my skeleton is left in my house.But best of luck to you and I pray to God that you will find that someone special very soon.
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replied December 4th, 2012
Hi!
you sound like such a sweet guy. ive now been single for 6yrs due to havin extremly bad relationships, ive actually now terrified to even date or look at a guy! men tell me im very attractive but my hackles go up n i go on the defence. This has made me an extremly lonely unconfident female!!
But its made me realise that its important to go for wots inside than anything else. I dont go for good lookin guys, there trouble in my eyes! so remember its wots inside that counts, they wil love u for u. u cant beat a great personalitie n as for socialisin, thats not always the way forward when lookin for love!! remember just b ur self and a MASSIVE well done wit loosin the weight! Stay strong x
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replied December 4th, 2012
I'm in the same boat bro! I'll be 28 in a month and I've never had a true girlfriend. Sure, I've slept around, but never a g/f. I've been on a lifelong diet and I also have had to lose weight to even want to try to date. So, you're not alone, I feel the same thing!
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replied April 17th, 2013
The reality is that women are cold hearted... they don't care, or 98% of them anyway. At the end of the day a woman can have any guy she wants, and any woman that tells you "there will be somebody out there" maybe in a womans world yes. Woman don't understand what its like to be a guy and how impossible it can be to get a into the relationship zone. I'm not as unfortunate as some guys, I'm grateful that I've had relationships in the past and experienced being with a woman, however I've had to settle for much less for what I feel I'm worth, and gone through hell, and sometimes when you're in a relationship you wish that you never was in a relationship. The pain is much worse when you get hurt. I know for those it can be hard to understand that for those who have never experienced having a woman. So next time a woman says "oh there will be somebody out their for you, you're a good looking guy" ask that woman if she would date you and there is you're answer. Yep
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replied June 10th, 2013
Well the above poster is a little depressing. I never had a girlfriend in high school, I didn't have my first girlfriend until I was 19 and I had almost no experience plus still a virgin. Then guess what when I went to university and just went for it. I asked girls out, went out met people and stopped worrying. I had a few girls, , a few short term relationships then I met my current girlfriend. We have been together 5 years, she's clever, beautiful, earns good money and is probably the nicest person I've ever met, not a bad bone in her body. Don't read the books on dating blah blah blah, just be nice, thoughtful and do what you enjoy if they are right for you you don't have to try. I have found the tried and tested methods work. Be confident, approach a girl you like (ive never been one for just asking a completely random girl out, i like to know we have something in common so at a gig or an art gallery or whatever you do for fun.) and take her out for drinks or a nice meal. Oh and if your overweight put down the fork and go for a run, try your hand at sports. I was a chubby kid till I was about 18 and then I one day just thought to hell with this. People say things aren't easy, that's true but most of the time they are pretty easy to understand and implement. Just hard to stick to. Anyway chin up!
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replied June 10th, 2013
Well the above poster is a little depressing. I never had a girlfriend in high school, I didn't have my first girlfriend until I was 19 and I had almost no experience plus still a virgin. Then guess what when I went to university and just went for it. I asked girls out, went out met people and stopped worrying. I had a few girls, , a few short term relationships then I met my current girlfriend. We have been together 5 years, she's clever, beautiful, earns good money and is probably the nicest person I've ever met, not a bad bone in her body. Don't read the books on dating blah blah blah, just be nice, thoughtful and do what you enjoy if they are right for you you don't have to try. I have found the tried and tested methods work. Be confident, approach a girl you like (ive never been one for just asking a completely random girl out, i like to know we have something in common so at a gig or an art gallery or whatever you do for fun.) and take her out for drinks or a nice meal. Oh and if your overweight put down the fork and go for a run, try your hand at sports. I was a chubby kid till I was about 18 and then I one day just thought to hell with this. People say things aren't easy, that's true but most of the time they are pretty easy to understand and implement. Just hard to stick to. Anyway chin up!
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replied August 11th, 2013
The real problem
I think most of these guys problem is that they don't have a proper social network going on.

Maybe they have one real friend, or two.
Maybe they work at a place with mostly guys.

Hell, when i was in college, i was at a campus with mostly guys aswell.. bad move on my part, but i didn't feel like i should need to choose my profession out of the number of girls who go into it.

To this day, i can really say i've had 2 real female friends in my life. One was when i was 7 yrs old, she's now married, and one is someone i've met online that i've keep daily contact with for a year now. She lives on the other side of the atlantic.

I just don't meet many girls that are single in my daily life.
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replied September 10th, 2013
if you like in social life what you need to do is get one how you might ask, the answer is easy join a class at your local heath club or get your self in a class of any kind in a gym, the thing is u need to get out there and meet people.
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replied September 29th, 2013
I'm another 27 year old guy right on par with you man. I have been single for over 5 years. I went to college a little bit but have spent the last 7 years just moving up in a company. Actually it's embarrassing to say I am living with my parents now due to money. Over the last 7 years of being single I played in a band did shows, met women had a date or two, did different work, met all kinds of people and was putting myself out there as a one of a kind guy with a real heart. All the women I meet only want to be friends. It's interesting when I get curious about new ones I learn that they are super serious with somebody already or not in the mood for a relationship. I have basically given up. A girl I have loved since the first time I laid eyes on her 12 years ago tells me that she doesn't have romantic feelings for me even though I am her backbone when she struggles. All you can dois realize you can't make a woman like you no matter how much you want. You just have to know that people meant to be with somebody desire it and out there in this huge world somebody special for you is going to meet you and be Better than anything you imagined. It feels painful to be so lonely and see others just enjoying love while we wonder why we can't get a break. The trick I guess is not letting this break your personality. It sucks but just do your thing. Some girl will love you for it.
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replied August 23rd, 2014
learn to forget about it and focus on a hobble. im in the same boat as you and im 31 never had a gf. people that say you will get one in time don't no better and don't no what it is like.and if there ones that are in the same boat there only lieing to themselves and you. the reality is from up till now you have been unlucky in the draw.your not one of them types that was delt a good card out of the pack.. just accept it. forget about it and look for other things in life to enjoy.maybe you will meet someone maybe you wont. but why dwell on it more and let it get you depressed. there is no certainty in anything in life. why bother trying to get something if it aint come your way yet despite looking for it yourself.learn to accept it.just dont dwel on it because it will just hurt you more if you dont find one. plenty other things to see and do.
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replied August 23rd, 2014
Community Volunteer
My best advice is to enjoy life...When the right person comes along you will know it...Having a life partner does not make happiness...Enjoying yourself does...My best to all...

Caroline...
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