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Clitoris numb during sex

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My partner is amazing and very generous. When I feel I am getting close to having an orgasm, my clitoris and pretty much the rest of my vagina goes completely numb. Not tingly -- totally numb, no feeling at all no matter what I do. We try going into different positions, stopping or starting intercourse to interchange fingers, tongue, whatever. Even taking a break. In general I still enjoy the sex, but I no longer feel aroused and become very dry, even though initially I become lubricated very quickly and easily. It's like I skip the orgasm. I've always been able to give myself orgasms, but even when I take over, the numbness is there. I feel bad for my partner -- he tries so hard and is so amazing, but we're both getting frustrated. I know that women frequently do not achieve orgasms during sex, but he seems to be doing everything right, exactly the way I want it, and I don't think it's normal to lose all feeling so suddenly and go dry when I'm most aroused. What's going on? I love him so much and I hate that this is making him feel inadequate. I have had three other partners, all female, and was able to achieve multiple orgasms with the last girl I dated. But I enjoy sex a lot more with him than I did with her. I can't make sense of this!
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replied March 2nd, 2010


Hi there. Thank you for posting your question on Ehealthforum. I think you are describing a condition called ‘ Female Anorgasmia’ It is the situation where a woman may have no difficulty in achieving an orgasm when alone of with a female partner, but, for some reason, can not abandon herself to climax with a man. It is quite common effecting as many as one in five women at some stage or other.

There are several approaches to treatment. Lifestyle needs to be looked at – diet, exercises, smoking, drinking, medicines – particularly the SSRI’s. You and your partner will probable need to discuss this with a Sex Counsellor but some people advocate the use of a vibrator by the man on the woman or doing whatever it is she does when alone masturbating. Once the ginks is broken and the woman learns to have an organism in the presence of her partner then she can usually move on from there though some setbacks are inevitable.

As I say Sex Therapy is strongly recommended. You might also read For Women Only by Jennifer Berman. Good luck.

Andrew Rynne.







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