Ok I need to start this post stating that I've lived with this problem for 14 sexually active years. So by that I mean that I've read all the documentation I can find to help me cure the problem and none of it seems relevant.
I feel confident over the internet explaining my problem so here is the first time I've spoken about this to anyone for over 10 years.
I have severe premature ejaculation. I last roughly 30 seconds on a good day and can also be said for either masturbating or having intercourse. On a bad day, I can ejaculate before even entering my partner, literally fully clothed having her rub her pelvis against mine. I have lived with this since I became sexually active at 17 years old (33 years old now). I realised immediately there was an issue so I went to see a doctor. The doctor told me to wear a condom and it will pass as time goes by. Obviously this did nothing for my condition and I repeated doctors visits proven to be useless.
This problem caused me to miss out on my youthful sexual experiences as I had to turn down any offers of sex knowing that I had this huge problem performing. Luckily I managed to find some understanding partners which I had long term relationships with that didn't seem to mind my problem.
I do manage to, 'on occasion', to overcome the issue by repeating sex immediately, this is only if I can then gain an erection after ejaculating. This DOES buy me some time but the experience from this point is more like a chore and is performed with probably 50% erection and I do this to help satisfy her.
I write this post now knowing that my current partner of 7 years, whom I have children with & a great family home is almost certainly 'had enough' of this issue. We've had regular sex for 6½ years with varying frequency, I think the longest we've ever gone without sex is around 3-4 weeks. It's now been 6 months and I fear that I have lost her support. I think she must have thought initially that I would overcome this problem, given time.
I fear the worst for my stability and I hope there is anyone out there that can give my some advice to help cure this. After collating online documents regarding this problem, it pretty much says that it's caused by anxiety, depression & stress. I'm a successful businessman with great stability and a relaxed life. None of these descriptions come even close. I couldn't possibly have 16 years of stress! I'm so sure I have a physical condition but all documents say it cannot be physical.
I've decided to make one last visit to the doctor before I close that avenue but I want to gain any information beforehand.
I've not tried hypnotherapy, can anyone give advice on this? Even recommend a therapist?
I've had similar problems as you for about the same amount of time and it is soul destroying.
Here's what i tried and my results so far
numbing cream: don't last that much longer and i don't feel anything-- kinda hurts as your body absorbs it
thicker condoms: doesn't work
seen an therapist: came to discovery that i'm an extreme perfectionist that thinks of performance in everything that i do
Cum again: hard to get hard the second time around
Viagra: helps to recover from first ejacualtion
jerk off therapy: works but in my case is difficult.here's my story ...basically i found a lady that basically is an asexual...my wife is very uncomfortable with sex therefore she wouldn't want to help with the therapy. the book is the new male sexuality by a dr zilbergeld something like that
It's good to know that someone else out there is experiencing something similar to me.
When I was younger, the doctor told me to wear thicker condoms, and yes I agree with you - they just don't work.
I've never seen a sex therapist myself. It's something I would do if I knew where to look. What is weird is that I too am an extreme perfectionist. People have always commented on this all my life, even though I would never agree and don't understand why they said it?!!
As for Viagra, I'd love to use it but I just don't know how the hell to get it 'safely'. I don't think the doctor would prescribe it for PE? Am I wrong?
I tried Dapoxetine but I got it online and I had no idea about the authenticity of it. It gave me a panic attack. Made my head spin, almost like a reaction to it. And as for the sex, it did nothing to help.
Since visiting this forum, I found something called Stud spray, which people seem to get good results from. I'm going to try this but my partner and I still haven't had sex since writing the initial post. I think our relationship is doing to fail so it might be some time till I have sex again.
I know that I'm extremely late to this post but I couldn't help but read it because I have very similar problems. I've tried every trick in the book and nothing seems to work. Plenty of my relationships have gone sour because of this issue. After much research on the topic it seems that the only explanation is depression and anxiety yet I experience none of these. The only thing I have found to help is alcohol but for obvious reasons that is not a cure and would like to find a more permanent solution. I'm not sure if this has anything to do with it but I have read that nerve endings near the lower spine are what control the ejaculation response this peaked my curiosity because I have a back injury that I have not yet fixed and I wonder if inflammation from the injury is putting pressure on these nerves causing the issue. Either way any advice would help because I've lived with this since I've been sexually active and would like to have a healthy sex life for once.
Well I am reading this a year later. My husband has his as chronic premature ejaculation...have any of you tried seeing a urologist? I don't think the anxiety and depression can me it if it last for 20 years...8 second sex where the guy is ONLY trying not to cum is very hard on the female too and I am sure you guys know that. Sex is not suppose to be that way...I am hoping a urologist could help...need help for my husband fast!
I have had this problem for 8 years..it was hell..then I started doing pranayama and some meditation practices and in about 3 months it was gone...a miracle indeed...sometimes you dont know that you are anxious but you are...doing pranayama makes you calm and reduces anxiety...plz plz give it a try...it will change your life...i prefer following swami ramdev...but you are free to follow anyone or learn it from a book...
Hi, i have only just seen this blog and it seems there are more people like me , i too have had this problem since i became active at the age of 15 i thought it was just nerves with it been the first time but i am 34 now and still suffering and it seems to be getting worse. I found what A7X said about a back injury very interesting as i have ANKYLOSING SPONDYLITUS which is a condition from birth where the spine crumbles and fuses together i started getting symtoms of this around the same age as i was getting active im going to mention this to my doctor and see what he says... I have tried all the methods told to me by the doctor the only thing that worked for a short time was the painkiller TRAMADOL but my body got used to it and it no longer works for me plus it is addictive and can make you feel realy strange, if anyone finds a magic cure be sure to share it i know i will becouse this is hell
dear all just today i came to know i am not the single in this world with this problem mywhole history is same to u and i ever tried all this but nothind to do with thatI also suffering this from about 10 years and now i am of 24
after few weaks i am gonig to be married but i am so worried about this please anyone help me
I have the same problem and also I have prostatitis.
I've heard about natural treatments but i can't find a good arcticle about.I'm suffering about 3 years
I read about natural exercises and device AndroSPOK here
What do you think about it?
Have been researching for a long time on this topic. Thus far as someone else has suggested, paroxetine daily and cialis or any other PE med combo seems the best. Dapoxetine is not available yet in USA. The ones available online without a prescription are most likely fake. Am not sure how the daily paroxetine works in regards to side effects .......... So there's my 2 cents.
Hello! I am dating a guy that used to have a severe case of it, now he's been taking some sort of anti depression medicine for over a year and, I kid you not, I would NEVER have guessed he EVER had any issues with sex what so ever. You guys should definitely check out that route,someone mentioned SSRI previously too. Speak to a doctor/psychologist I guess(?). It probably wont work on everyone but its work checking it out, I understand it must be devastating having this type of issue. Wish you all the best!
/Satisfied & happy girl