Ok I need to start this post stating that I've lived with this problem for 14 sexually active years. So by that I mean that I've read all the documentation I can find to help me cure the problem and none of it seems relevant.
I feel confident over the internet explaining my problem so here is the first time I've spoken about this to anyone for over 10 years.
I have severe premature ejaculation. I last roughly 30 seconds on a good day and can also be said for either masturbating or having intercourse. On a bad day, I can ejaculate before even entering my partner, literally fully clothed having her rub her pelvis against mine. I have lived with this since I became sexually active at 17 years old (33 years old now). I realised immediately there was an issue so I went to see a doctor. The doctor told me to wear a condom and it will pass as time goes by. Obviously this did nothing for my condition and I repeated doctors visits proven to be useless.
This problem caused me to miss out on my youthful sexual experiences as I had to turn down any offers of sex knowing that I had this huge problem performing. Luckily I managed to find some understanding partners which I had long term relationships with that didn't seem to mind my problem.
I do manage to, 'on occasion', to overcome the issue by repeating sex immediately, this is only if I can then gain an erection after ejaculating. This DOES buy me some time but the experience from this point is more like a chore and is performed with probably 50% erection and I do this to help satisfy her.
I write this post now knowing that my current partner of 7 years, whom I have children with & a great family home is almost certainly 'had enough' of this issue. We've had regular sex for 6½ years with varying frequency, I think the longest we've ever gone without sex is around 3-4 weeks. It's now been 6 months and I fear that I have lost her support. I think she must have thought initially that I would overcome this problem, given time.
I fear the worst for my stability and I hope there is anyone out there that can give my some advice to help cure this. After collating online documents regarding this problem, it pretty much says that it's caused by anxiety, depression & stress. I'm a successful businessman with great stability and a relaxed life. None of these descriptions come even close. I couldn't possibly have 16 years of stress! I'm so sure I have a physical condition but all documents say it cannot be physical.
I've decided to make one last visit to the doctor before I close that avenue but I want to gain any information beforehand.
I've not tried hypnotherapy, can anyone give advice on this? Even recommend a therapist?
I've had similar problems as you for about the same amount of time and it is soul destroying.
Here's what i tried and my results so far
numbing cream: don't last that much longer and i don't feel anything-- kinda hurts as your body absorbs it
thicker condoms: doesn't work
seen an therapist: came to discovery that i'm an extreme perfectionist that thinks of performance in everything that i do
Cum again: hard to get hard the second time around
Viagra: helps to recover from first ejacualtion
jerk off therapy: works but in my case is difficult.here's my story ...basically i found a lady that basically is an asexual...my wife is very uncomfortable with sex therefore she wouldn't want to help with the therapy. the book is the new male sexuality by a dr zilbergeld something like that
It's good to know that someone else out there is experiencing something similar to me.
When I was younger, the doctor told me to wear thicker condoms, and yes I agree with you - they just don't work.
I've never seen a sex therapist myself. It's something I would do if I knew where to look. What is weird is that I too am an extreme perfectionist. People have always commented on this all my life, even though I would never agree and don't understand why they said it?!!
As for Viagra, I'd love to use it but I just don't know how the hell to get it 'safely'. I don't think the doctor would prescribe it for PE? Am I wrong?
I tried Dapoxetine but I got it online and I had no idea about the authenticity of it. It gave me a panic attack. Made my head spin, almost like a reaction to it. And as for the sex, it did nothing to help.
Since visiting this forum, I found something called Stud spray, which people seem to get good results from. I'm going to try this but my partner and I still haven't had sex since writing the initial post. I think our relationship is doing to fail so it might be some time till I have sex again.
I know that I'm extremely late to this post but I couldn't help but read it because I have very similar problems. I've tried every trick in the book and nothing seems to work. Plenty of my relationships have gone sour because of this issue. After much research on the topic it seems that the only explanation is depression and anxiety yet I experience none of these. The only thing I have found to help is alcohol but for obvious reasons that is not a cure and would like to find a more permanent solution. I'm not sure if this has anything to do with it but I have read that nerve endings near the lower spine are what control the ejaculation response this peaked my curiosity because I have a back injury that I have not yet fixed and I wonder if inflammation from the injury is putting pressure on these nerves causing the issue. Either way any advice would help because I've lived with this since I've been sexually active and would like to have a healthy sex life for once.
Well I am reading this a year later. My husband has his as chronic premature ejaculation...have any of you tried seeing a urologist? I don't think the anxiety and depression can me it if it last for 20 years...8 second sex where the guy is ONLY trying not to cum is very hard on the female too and I am sure you guys know that. Sex is not suppose to be that way...I am hoping a urologist could help...need help for my husband fast!
I have had this problem for 8 years..it was hell..then I started doing pranayama and some meditation practices and in about 3 months it was gone...a miracle indeed...sometimes you dont know that you are anxious but you are...doing pranayama makes you calm and reduces anxiety...plz plz give it a try...it will change your life...i prefer following swami ramdev...but you are free to follow anyone or learn it from a book...
Hi, i have only just seen this blog and it seems there are more people like me , i too have had this problem since i became active at the age of 15 i thought it was just nerves with it been the first time but i am 34 now and still suffering and it seems to be getting worse. I found what A7X said about a back injury very interesting as i have ANKYLOSING SPONDYLITUS which is a condition from birth where the spine crumbles and fuses together i started getting symtoms of this around the same age as i was getting active im going to mention this to my doctor and see what he says... I have tried all the methods told to me by the doctor the only thing that worked for a short time was the painkiller TRAMADOL but my body got used to it and it no longer works for me plus it is addictive and can make you feel realy strange, if anyone finds a magic cure be sure to share it i know i will becouse this is hell
dear all just today i came to know i am not the single in this world with this problem mywhole history is same to u and i ever tried all this but nothind to do with thatI also suffering this from about 10 years and now i am of 24
after few weaks i am gonig to be married but i am so worried about this please anyone help me
I have the same problem and also I have prostatitis.
I've heard about natural treatments but i can't find a good arcticle about.I'm suffering about 3 years
I read about natural exercises and device AndroSPOK here
What do you think about it?
Have been researching for a long time on this topic. Thus far as someone else has suggested, paroxetine daily and cialis or any other PE med combo seems the best. Dapoxetine is not available yet in USA. The ones available online without a prescription are most likely fake. Am not sure how the daily paroxetine works in regards to side effects .......... So there's my 2 cents.
Hello! I am dating a guy that used to have a severe case of it, now he's been taking some sort of anti depression medicine for over a year and, I kid you not, I would NEVER have guessed he EVER had any issues with sex what so ever. You guys should definitely check out that route,someone mentioned SSRI previously too. Speak to a doctor/psychologist I guess(?). It probably wont work on everyone but its work checking it out, I understand it must be devastating having this type of issue. Wish you all the best!
/Satisfied & happy girl
Hi, without describing my own details, let's just say my condition is the same and it's sad and disturbing to me.
I do not have any cure and intend to be more insistent with my doctor, which is why I was looking up all info I could find online.
That said, I do have two suggestions which worked really well for me when I was taking an SSRI antidepressant. One is the antidepressant, the other is medical marijuana. Please don't go looking for the 2nd one if its not legal in your state. I don't want anybody to be arrested for that.
Read until the end to understand how it works. On its own the antidepressant did not help. For me it only helps when I do not take it regularly and then will take a dose once I a while. When the body isn't used to an SSRI antidepressant and one dose is taken you almost certainly will feel strong laziness in the muscles, tingling sensations, and basically you'll feel how you feel when you wake up early in the morning. Fully relaxed. If you've experienced it you'll also be yawning a lot for a day.
Those are the symptoms of what's called Serotonin Syndrome. Online it will be described as potentially dangerous to health. I am sure if a big dose is accidentally taken by a person who hasn't adjusted to it, it will cause some kind of problems. In regular doses it never caused me issues.
So, depending on the specific anti depressant, it will have slightly different intensity of this strong relaxing effect over the next 8-24 hours. This effect also has caused me be able to last significantly longer. It doesn't always work, however. It will work for a day, but if you continue taking it you will start feeling the antidepressant's long term effects and side effects. One of them, as many of you know, is big reduction in libido. You won't be interested in sex nearly as much and won't be aroused easily. So this antidepressant tactic is a hit or miss. The one antidepressant I tried that had the strongest positive effect on PE is Paxil. It is also the one that has the most side effects if you take it regularly. So personally I don't recommend it for actual depression. I don't take the SSRI antidepressant's anymore because they all cause me to have hot flashes and too much sweating in general.
When I was taking antidepressants daily, whether it was Effexor(venlafexine), Zoloft(I think it's sertaline), or Lexapro I still had very bad PE once I've adjusted to them. BUT I also have a state permission to use medical marijuana because I survived cancer. I discovered that some types of medical marijuana (actually all of it is medical) prolonged my time by quite a lot when it was having its effect. Sometimes up to five times longer or more. It all depends on marijuana variety. And for me it only worked well when I was taking an antidepressant.
I am sure it works that way because it slows down the firing of neurons in synapses over the body. Same way it has a pain relief effect over the entire body. It suggests to me that, from what I read, I must have too many nerve endings that cause me to have my horrible PE. But who knows. Most importantly often it works.
Please keep in mind. This isn't an ideal or perfect solution for the same reason alcohol isn't an ideal solution. You'll still feel the effects of marijuana that make you high and dumb. Neither of the two things I described is a permanent or ideal solution for me so I still need help from doctors. But maybe one or both of the substances I described can help you. Please don't get into legal trouble. I am not responsible for your breaking your local laws.
i am married for 3 years and this PE is a disturbing and depressive condition but i know that i am not the only one in this world. my wife support me. and i think you are lucky somehow because no paroxetine, no medical marijuana here.
I have found a solution for this without using anti-depressants and all.
I did try to use the Serotonin inhibitor, my doctor prescribed me one. Though initially it helped me, it was not helpful once my body got used to it and it also affected me psychologically cos my wife said i turned cold towards my family, so i stopped using it.
What did work for me was the Promescent spray. I found out for me only one shot of spray was good enough for me, because any more i was getting really worried if i would get erect. But if you can get your partner to go down on you it might work out for you. But with just 1 spray, i was able to achieve erection no problem, then as long as i did not go into missionary position i was good to go if i was calm. Missionary position is like a no go for me, i read on a lot of forums that it causes you to cum too and also from personal experience. So i do it at the end.
Good luck my brothers, this is something no one should go through.
I too have suffered from this my entire life, used to think I would grow out it but at 34 its actually gotten worse like a lot of you.
At times when I was single I would actually promote my PE, getting off very easily at strip clubs during private dances, but I'm afraid that it only made it worse.
I've also had failed relationships due to this, condoms in general don't work, I've come to realize that it's part mental and definitely part physical. It's much worse with new partners, hence the reason why I'm able to ejaculate simply by having a stripper sit on my lap, I do better in long term relationships, which is why I believe it's also physical because I'm able to have sex, but it has to be slow and controlled. Reading that depression and anxiety play a part is huge eureka moment for me, I've suffered from both of those my whole life, so I'm planning on visiting my doctor and asking about getting a prescription for this to see if it helps. I've also tried cialis and yes it works on being able to stay hard and go a second time, but as you know you lose that primal passion and it can almost become a chore. Luckily I've found a partner that's great with taking it slow and we are able to have great sex, she also has a kink for me ejaculating in her so we are able to have incredible sex, but I still would love to be able to last longer and stay harder, so please continue to post any success stories on here!
I have the exact same problem as the original poster. If its a good day I manage to get a couple of pumps before I ejaculate, but most the time its before i get my trousers off. I've been with my parter for 10 years since we were 15. I saw a therapist for nearly a year this included sexual counselling with cognitive behavioural therapy this helped me to last longer while masterbating but made no difference when engaging with my parter. I have also had the anti-depressants and numbing cream nothing really makes any difference. I also had dapoxetine and priligy but it made me feel very sick and only gained around an extra 2 pumps so hardly worth the hardship. The only thing left that my doctor can suggest is hypnotheropy has anyone found this helps?