This is a fantastic topic and one that needs to be addressed more often, IMO.

I've been reading a lot lately about women who have practically given up on having sex with their husbands because of chronic pain. It occurs to me that because of health issues, perhaps women don't believe they can still be 'normal' when it comes to the physcial aspects of their lives. Perhaps they feel guilty in a round a bout way and feel that since they are taking such strong medicine to combat pain, they shouldn't be allowed to push things in the physical areas of their lives. But I believe there is a middle ground.

There are times when my pain is at a level where I cannot participate in sexual intercourse with my husband.

It took me a while to find my way through all of this because when I would experience a flare, I would stay in that mindset for a long time even when the pain had let up, which not only affected me and my husband's intimacy level and relationship but I danced with depression many, many times. It's so easy to slide down the darkened tunnel.

I've had more diagnosis' tacked on since but NOW I handle things much, much differently.

If I cannot engage in sexual intercourse, I 'play' with my husband and we do different things that keep our intimacy alive.

I work hard to get better and when my inner light comes back on, I pounce on it with everything I am. I've become a 'lifer' due to a fine example and it has changed my attitude and ideas about being a person who lives with a difficult health situation.

It's just sex, after all, and should be approached with creativity, a light heart and, at times, a sense of humor.

I'll say this...orgasms give me a moment of pure bliss and for that moment I am not someone in pain or someone who has a heart condition or someone who has esophagus/stomach problems or back problems or RA. In that moment, I am a woman who is FREE of this human condition and everything...for a moment...is wonderful.

It's so weird. Two people...both have the same chronic pain problems. One takes her ms contin cocktail and gets ready for a morning jog...the other closes her blinds and hides away from the world. I was the latter for much too long. Not anymore.

Life is a choice no matter what cards we are dealt.

There may come a time when I am bedridden and in pain 24/7 but until that time, I choose this glorious, crazy, beautiful, messy thing called LIFE.