I think you need to get out of this relationship. It doesn't sound like a healthy relationship and you don't seem to be enjoying yourself. Why stay in it?

i agree that you need to get out of this relationship...how are you ever going to be able to trust him again? and justifying the fact that you cheated on him bc he cheated on you is not good..why stoop to his level? leave him, he doesn't deserve you and if he cheated on you then no...he doesn't love you...if he did he would have thought about you before he cheated...

i'm with the other girls here. you have to respect yourself enough to get away from this. he will be involved with her forever. let him have at it. he'll learn an important lesson and you can move on and get a boy who will love you and never cheat on you.

jasmine

Cheat once, twice...who to say he won't cheat again? Personally, I would get out of the relationship and move on and not look back.

~Zig

Sweetie you HAVE to get back in touch with your friends. Friends are perfect PRECISELY for a time like this. Sleeping with another guy(especially an ex) will not fix anything. I know all too well how easy it is to feel sorry for yourself and practically "self-medicate" with sex just to get over it but that is a path that you do NOT want to wander down. This "boyfriend" of yours is obviously less than scum for 1) cheating on you 2) cheating on you with his best friend's ex(which I'm sure his bf doesn't approve of) and 3) having the nerve to ask you to forgive him. You have a choice here, you don't have to be with him. He doesn't make you happy.
I know you say you don't have friends anymore but if you still have phone numbers you at least still have an ear that will listen or even a shoulder to cry on(you might be surprised about the ones you find that stuck around).
It's normal to feel like taking revenge out on your boyfriend. He did something terrible to you so you want to make him hurt like you did. Did you tell him you cheated on him? All things considered, 2 wrongs DON'T make a right, but you can't change the past so don't worry about it. You made, what you thought, was the correct decision at that time. No need in crying over spilled milk. The right thing to do now is get out of the relationship. You're strong enough to do it, most women are, we just get hung up on the normal, the comfortable, the habit, the regularity of being in THAT relationship. No one likes to change, it's too much work, it's different, and maybe a little frightening but change helps us grow and become better people. Who knows what might walk into your life once you throw out your dirty laundry(boyfriend). You may discover how strong you really are.

agree with sooner8200 all the way...

once a man does it, its easier to do it again. a leopard doesnt change its spots...

i would have left long ago, he has taken advantage of the fact that you took him back, in my opinion he doesnt deserve you and im sure all the caring people on this thread would agree with that.

the pain must be unbearable... im here if you want to chat sweetie, you shouldnt go through this alone...def contact your friends too

yeah!! i agree with them too..
if i were you? i would pack my things on his heart and leave him..
and ooh..!! about you've planning to contact your ex.. no! no! no!
don't be like that.. is it bec. you want to revenge? ooh.. no!
that is bad.. how bout? try to start all over? hhmmm..?
plan a new life.. don't mess up your life, its bec. of a 1 guy..
just remember? the greatest love of all is to love your own self. so from now on,
think how would you learned to love your self.

good luck my friend..
and god bless you..