My stepdad has Aids. I'm not sure how upfront he has been about it with my mom, but she told me he went to the hospital and tested positive for aids. But she blew it off. They haven't been together for years, but he's been by the house a few times. Everytime i've seen him he looks like a shell of his former self. The last time I saw him he looked emeciated. I was in shock and disbelief. For a while now, i've been having sleepless nights thinking that my mom has aids. I'm even more nervous now because she has lost so much weight. I moved to a different city and when I returned home after 3 months, she lost manybe 20lbs. Also she doesn't look so good. I told her to get tested but she said she doesn't have it because she hasn't been with my stepdad in years. She and I know that don't mean anything. I think she is scared, afraid and ashamed of the stigma that comes along with having AIDS, but i'm afraid my mom will die. I'm afraid he days are numbered because she's in denial. She's very private,but I know she hasn't been doing well health wise, what can I do to get her to go seek treatment? Can I get a doctor or a clinic to call her and convice her to be tested? If she won't listen to me, what can I do? Also if she does have AIDS and not HIV, then how long can she live? What will her life be like? My mom come from a place of, "If I have aids or HIV then I don't want to know." Please help
Without treatment, the median survival time after infection with HIV is estimated to be 9 to 11 years.
You'll need to convince her to get tested since the infection can go asymptomatic for 10 years and when is manifested with symptoms they are non-specific (other conditions can bring on the same symptoms, too).
Talking from the perspective of having being a HIV/AIDS counsellor in Africa,this is my advice to you.
It does seem as if you're mom is in denial but this is the time when she needs you the most. Talk to her and make her understand that you want her in your life and her grandkids lives (if she is a grandma)for a long time. Also let her know that no matter what the results are, you will always be there for her and it is a family matter that does not need to be discussed with anybody else.
I am surprised that the hospital or clinic that diagnosed your step-father did not try to contact the women he has been with to encourage them to get tested. Unless he refused to say and in which case it is your duty to call that clinic and talk to a counsellor about your mom. She needs to be talked to by a professional that will assure her that AIDS is not the end of the world as long as you live right. If she has it (I pray God she doesn't) all that will change is her lifestyle. Her diet will consist more of food that builds the immune system because HIV destroys the immunity we have in our bodies. She will probably be on a whole bunch of medication (called cocktails). But get this, IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.
You and her are in my prayers.