Heres me situation. Me and my gf attempted
to have UNPROTECTED sex yesterday (very
stupid, only because i knew i couldnt
maintain an erection with a codom) .
Before sex, i masturbated and pre
ejaculatory fluid and what looked like
semen came out while i DID NOT have an
erection (very strange). After this, i
urinated and washed my hands thourghly. I
take Lexapro for depression, and this
makes maintaing an erection and reaching
ejaculation very difficult. When i finally
thought i had an erection hard enough for
penetration i tried to, but realized it
wasnt nearly hard enough. I did not
penetrate her and , just the tip of my
penis touched her vagina. After this, it
was a hopeless effort, and i just
ejaculated on to a bag on the bed, which
was nowhere near her vagina. After this, i
noticed a water substancy on her vagina,
and i am not sure if this is just water
because my penis was wet, or possibly pre
ej. fluid. I did not feel an ejaculation
coming at all before i tried to penetrate
her, but i am worried some could gave
gotten on her. So here are the facts.
-Pre ej, fluid CAN cause pregnancy
-My penis only touched the tip of her
vagina, and went not even an inch in her
-I DID NOT pentrate her and DID NOT
ejaculate in her.
-I believe she had her period about 5 - 6
days before sex (unsure and will get back
to you on this)
-I am unsure as to whether or not that
fluid on her vagina was pre-ej. fluid
So with those circumstances in mind,
assuming that the substance was pre ej.
fluid, what could you tell me the chance
of pregnancy is. And i am aware this IS a
chance of pregnancy.
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macmanjeff
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 04-21-08 13:30pm
also, after the attempt of ejaculation, i
did not try to penetrate her again at all.
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Ingi
Moderator
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Posted: 04-21-08 13:49pm
No one can give you the exact risk of
pregnancy because there are a million
factors involved.
ALWAYS wear a condom. ALWAYS. It protects
you both.
More than likely, the risk here is low.
You shouldn't worry about this incident.
However, no one can say 100%.
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macmanjeff
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 04-21-08 14:03pm
oh i know the risk is very unlikey that
she is pregnant...very low. She also
washed her vagina out after i saw it, i
have no clue as to whether it would help
or not, probably not. Also, could someone
explain to me when a women can be presumed
fertile and infertile. Iv done a lot of
reading on the whole calendar method thing
(something i will never trust as a safe
way of protection), but still dont
understand it, can someone explain it to
me.
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Ingi
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8880 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
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Posted: 04-21-08 14:17pm
Washing your vagina after sex will not
prevent pregnancy or stds.
The calendar method is NOT a reliable
method of birth control. It is risky and
should only be used by women who are very
disciplined in the practice. That said,
your girlfriend would chart her period
(marking the first day on the calendar)
and also checks her cervical mucous (CM)
every day. Often the CM changes to the
consistency of egg whites when she is
fertile. But that isn't always. And women
are 'fertile' a few days prior to
ovulation since sperm can live for a few
days inside a woman.
There is also additional ways to do this
in that she takes her temperature every
morning before she gets out of bed (basal
body temp or BBT). She charts her temp
every day. There is a spike when you
ovulate. This can be figured out after she
has done this for a few months and
understands her body's cycle.
Now for the real basics that are NOT
RELIABLE - if she usually has a 28 day
cycle, she will ovulate on or around 14
days after her period.
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mvis
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Apr 2008 Posts: 22 Location: Idaho, USA
Posted: 04-21-08 14:23pm
It is very unlikely she is pregnant.-- But
a woman has chances of getting pregnant
the week before her period. On her period
and the week after. Or Most likely 14 days
before her period.-
Just wait until its time for her period,
and if she misses it, then take a
pregnancy test. They are pretty accurate.
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macmanjeff
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 04-21-08 15:03pm
i see, that clears up a lot of it. Now say
a girl gets her period on April 1st, is it
safe to say she has probably the highesty
chance of getting pregnant around April
14? If so, if she has unprotected sex on
April 6th, and the sperm can stay in her
for around 5 days, that would make the
risk of pregnancy very high because the
sperm are in her until April 11, which is
extremely close to April 14?
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Ingi
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8880 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
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Posted: 04-21-08 15:08pm
That can happen. It is unlikely in your
case though, because you did not ejaculate
inside of her and don't even know if you'd
gotten any sperm inside her.
Your best option, as I've said before, is
to always wear a condom.
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macmanjeff
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 04-21-08 15:22pm
yeah man...after this crap im bout to wear
a metal condom 24/7. Also, she just told
me she got her period about 3 days ago.
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macmanjeff
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 04-21-08 16:48pm
hey when you say period...are you
referring to when it begins, or when it
ends
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Reptar
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Oct 2007 Posts: 389
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Posted: 04-21-08 17:28pm
When it begins.
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macmanjeff
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 04-21-08 19:54pm
thankyou. now that iv wrote all this down
i think this will make things easier.
On sunday she had her period. (1st day of
cycle).
Thursday her period ended (5th day of
cycle).
On sunday, pre ej. fluid could have
entered her (8th day of cycle).
Sperm could be active until 12th (or is it
13?) day of the cycle. (assuming 5 days)
She ovulates on day 14 of the cycle (by
this time no sperm are active)
Sorry i feel like im swamping you guys
with questions, but that is the info i
have gathered, and this is all based on a
28 day cycle which she says she is on. Now
just some things i would like to know
based on this (more or less).
-Is it likely that if the sperm are active
2 days before she ovulates she will get
pregant?
Im feelin pretty good that it wont because
i havent ejaculated in days before we
tried it, and i hear that decreases the
chances the pre ej. fluid will have a
large amount of sperm And, i never
inserted it, only the outer part. But i
really wanna thankyou guys for this,
because its great knowing people are out
there willing to help
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Reptar
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Oct 2007 Posts: 389
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Posted: 04-21-08 20:15pm
You don't appear to be in any trouble.
Just so you know, even if she is on a 28
day cycle, she'd also have to ovulate
regularly and right at the expected time.
Sperm can also be killed by soap and hot
water (don't rely on this as a BC method)
so most sperm don't live anywhere close up
to 5 days inside her.
Really, I wouldn't sweat it. It's very
unlikely that she got pregnant, but do try
to be careful. All it takes is one slip-up
and she can become pregnant. Sorry to hear
about your situation with the
anti-depressants, maybe you can talk to
you doctor about getting something to help
with that? Not using a condom so you can
have sex is (as you know) not a good way
of dealing with it, and my god, believe
me, the sex is not the same when you're
worried about being/getting pregnant. Good
luck!
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Ingi
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8880 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
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Posted: 04-21-08 20:35pm
I will 100% second what Reptar said about
sex being WAY WAY better when there is no
fear of pregnancy!
You should be just fine (and your
girlfriend too) with no pregnancy. Don't
take chances in the future though - let
this be your lesson. Good luck in the
future.
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macmanjeff
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 04-21-08 20:55pm
thankyou reptar that means a lot.
Currently i am on a few. Lamictal,
Wellbutrin, Seroquel,Adderall and
Ambien...crazy stuff it interferes with
life and certainly sex, but i need to wake
up everyday and not immediatly think about
killing myself. Im only 16 and iv been
through quite a lot, and am going through
a lot when my drugs fail me. I DO NOT need
the anxiety of having my gf pregnant..it
just adds to the mess im in. But thankyou
for your help it is greatly appreciated
and i have learned a great lesson from all
of this.
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macmanjeff
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 04-21-08 23:00pm
thanks guys...one more thing i am not 100%
sure of.....if sperm are active up until 2
days before she ovulates, is the risk of
pregnancy high? (also, what would be a
realistic amount of time that sperm from
pre-cum would survive if it was around her
vagina, but not anywhere inside it)
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macmanjeff
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 04-21-08 23:12pm
thanks...1 more thing im unsure of. If the
precum was on the outside of her
vagina..what would you say the chance of
it getting inside her are after it was
seen near the vagina but certainly not in
it as normal penetration would do, and she
washed it out? (i know this does not
prevent pregnancy). Also, if worst came to
worst, if this precum made its way to her,
how long could it survive if it had
previously been exposed to a lot of air
and saliva. (if it were in her, how long
would it realistically stay active).
Another question..If all sperm are
completly inactive before a women
ovulates...is the risk of pregnancy
extremely low?
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Ingi
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8880 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 171
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Posted: 04-22-08 11:02am
If the precum was on the outside, then the
likelihood that any of it got inside is
low. No one knows how much since not all
precum contains sperm. It can.
I understand you are anxious but these are
all variables that everyone faces every
month of unprotected sex. Some people are
trying and trying to have babies - if any
of these things (how many sperm in precum?
what is the risk of unprotected sex? etc)
could be known, someone would have figured
it out.
All of that aside, knowing what risk you
have, knowing how many sperm may have been
in the precum - will not change anything
for you today. You need to put all these
things in the back of your mind and just
let it go. Whatever happened, has now
happened. Take a deep breath and wait for
her period. There is nothing more you can
do and no more to know.
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rainstorm
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2008 Posts: 68
Posted: 04-25-08 09:37am
macmanjeff
wrote:
thanks...1 more thing im
unsure of. If the precum was on the
outside of her vagina what would you say
the chance of it getting inside her are
after it was seen near the vagina but
certainly not in it as normal penetration
would do, and she washed it out? (i know
this does not prevent pregnancy). Also, if
worst came to worst, if this precum made
its way to her, how long could it survive
if it had previously been exposed to a lot
of air and saliva. (if it were in her, how
long would it realistically stay active).
Another question..If all sperm are
completly inactive before a women
ovulates...is the risk of pregnancy
extremely
low?
Are you sure that clear fluid you saw on
her vagina wasn't from her? When women
become aroused they secrete fluids,
sometimes a lot of it.
Your next question was answered so I will
skip to the last one about the inactive
sperm... by inactive do you mean dead?
Dead sperm =/= pregnancy.
If you don't mean dead, here's your
answer:
Quote:
The human sperm cell is normally able to
swim - propelled by a long tail called a
flagellum. When sperm cannot move, they
are much less likely to reach the egg.
Further, when sperm are not normally
motile, that is not swimming strongly, it
is often a sign of being more generally
impaired, and overall less likely to
accomplish fertilization even if they did
reach the
egg.
