Sexual Health - Men Forum

Hello,

Alright this is obviously embarrasing as you all know and not something I talk about alot so forgive me if my vocabulary is not up to par. I am not so sure if my problem is pe or what type of pe it is as i have discovered in my research that there are a lot of forms of it.

First I will describe my situation. I have only slept with a few women in my life i think five total. I am 29 divorced and currently in a relationship. I have never been a stud but i have always got the job done and left the women i was with satisified. What is the most confusing to me is that with my ex wife and my current girlfriend the sex was great at first i would go for ever and most of the time they would tell me to stop. I am not sure when exactly i started having this problem and why. I have read alot about this online and I have a few questions and theorys.

First off I am under alot of stress right now, my ex wife is a horrible witch and will not let me be my father passed away in january and i am just a stressed out person as it is. i have trouble relaxing and i feel tense all of the time. so this is one of what i think is the problem

second my girlfriend is not very touchy and as the relationship progresses she is even less so then at first. when she actually wants sex now which is a few month in between she does not want to kiss or have oral sex or anything its just stick it in wam bam missionary style until she is satisfied and that is it. now maybe i am alone on this one but i do like a little four play that kind of sex to me is borning and no fun, it saps the life out of it. so this is what i am faced with and is probably a big part of the problem. however she wont change on this. she even said that other day when i gave her crap about never kissing me she says, "well i kiss you. .. when we have sex. but even that now is not true.

for example the other i got in bed and she gave me the look like lets go and so i rolled over excited and started to kiss her i was soft it takes me a while to get it up sometimes which makes me wonder if my problem really is pe and then i kiss her and shes just sitting there like it is bothering her so i go down on her she pushes me off and wants me to stick it in its still not totally hard as i am being horribly rushed. and then 30 seconds later the show is over.

now please don't think i am blaming my girl that is not true i love her and that is what she wants oh well. so its a little boring sometimes but this is what i need to be able to do. and i need to find a way to resolve this before she starts looking else where for satisifcation and i lose what is left of my self esteem.

i have been reading about hte controversy of the kegel excercise it seems tht there are two sides to the story one flex them during sex to help and two not to flex them. so i am confused there please advise

also i like and agree with the idea about conditioning my self to be able to last longer by learning about the point of no return. but this is hard i have been experimenting while masturbating and although i can last very long of course while masturbating i have not found a way to prolong the point of no return short of just stopping for a minute or two. but this will do not good i will not even attempt to approach my girlfriend with the idea of stoping every 20 seconds for a minute and i doubt i could stay hard anyways. just swithcing does not work i have tried that i have to actually stop.

another thing i am confused about and i have seen others mention this is that the longer i go with out sex the harder it is and masterbation or anything else in the mean time does not help. i think that is why at first in the relationships i do good cuz we have a lot of sex and then it stops. but again this is the situation i am faced with we all know how women are its when they are in the mood and not us.

so how do i actually prolong ejaculating without stopping i guess that is the question cuz like i said if i do anything other than stop for a minute at least it just comes and if i stop i lose the hard on so it is danged if i do danged if i dont.

also i seem to have trouble breathing right. for example if i try to to a kegel excercise i have to hold my breath to hold it or to hold my abs as some have said. when i exhale i cant hold it i have tried.

so there is my story. i don't know what to do but it has me really depressed. and i don't want to lose this girl.

has any one ever had there girlfriend think they were gay as a result of there pe. i am starting to think that my girl may be thinking that i am really gay and that is why i am having this problem but i don't want her to think that or that it is her.

any advice on how to discuss this with my girl. i have no issues discussing it with friends or anyone else but i have not even begun to discuss it with her and if i dont its going to be bad. but she has said that missionary is what she likes. one time she bent over for me and that is one of my favorite positions i love to stand up even when i masturbate but she says it does nothing for her and that it was only for me.

does anyone else here have issues with women who only like one position and that is it. ?

sorry if this has been a ramble i am really embarresed and my thoughts are very scattered. im not sure what to do but i really want to learn to control this.

i figure if she wants to just do it in missionary then even as boring as that is i should still be able to enjoy myself and last a few minutes.

it just sucks cuz about a month after we met she tells me that i was one of the best lovers she has ever had and that is from a women who has slept with over a hundred men. but now i cant keep it up for more than 1 minute and when this first started i could go again after and even longer and satisfy her so i thought nothing of it she even commented once how kewl that was because most men cant do that and now i cant even get it up again afterwords.

please help with any advice or just let me know that i am not alone with this issue so that i can keep some of my ego intact.

Thanks.

Good luck to all of you in solving your problems as well hopefully one day i will nick this in the bud and be providing answers.

cause of PE ?