To clarify, my fiance' and I are both virgins, and while we do make out (to the waist, hand jobs for him, etc), we do not engage in intercourse or oral sex. We both seemed to get very much into it, and have been tempted to go on, but I have known all along that he really doesn't get much out of it while I do. That has always bothered me, but he's always insisted that it didn't matter, that his pleasure was knowing that he pleased me, and he always told me that he would get more out of it when we are married, etc.

Well, we're engaged now. The wedding is a few months a way, and this issue is becoming increasingly more prominent. I have watched him climax and I kid you not, he doesn't react to it at all. When asked why, he admitted that he doesn't really get anything out of it, that it's just kind of an "annoyance that he has to take care of once in a while" (that was in regards to masturbation.

He also admitted that he's rarely interested in sexual things, and that no sex really doesn't bother him, even if spent a lifetime without it. Why can't he feel pleasure? Yes, I am a novice, but really nothing seems to please him (and he claims it doesn't matter, but lately has been frustrated because he knows it upsets me so he feels like something is wrong with him, yet refuses to see a doctor or be put on any meds). When he is in the mood, we both get very into it, so that is why I never really knew how deep the problem was rooted. I don't know what to do, but I hate feeling so undesirable. He says it's not me, that he knows something is wrong with him and that he's never been "right," but it's my happiness that matters. Any ideas of what could be wrong, or how we can fix this? Anhedonia sounds a lot like what his problem is, and he does tend to be a bit down, not full-fledged depressed, in general, but he doesn't want to see doctors of any sort...