I am really really sick of my mother. Not like I don't love her, Of course I do. She's been a brilliant mother(from what I remember from my childhood) but it's almost been a decade and it's seems like, she's can't really differentiate delusions from reality anymore. And, My father(when He was alive) tried spending more time with her to put an end to her crappy delusional belief that he was seeing some other woman and was gonna divorce her(which never happened) but she never changed, in fact, her delusions only got stronger with time, apparently, for no reason. there was no concrete proof that Dad ever had an affair after getting married, he died last year and since then, my mother has been creating, imagining really weird and strange stories. She thinks we are not her kids, we are somebody else and are possessing her kids. she says that people are conspiring against her. We tried taking her to a psychiatrist but she is old skool and it made things only worse. She says really cheap stuff to me and my brothers, is ruining my little brother's life. she doesn't even care if anyone paid his fee or not, she hardly see his teachers and he already flunked a class, is always out on his own..until me or my big bro bring him back home(forcefully obviously). I had to ditch college last year because my father died and My mum wouldn't fund my college and I had no money to pay for the rest of the semesters. somehow I found a job and it's better to work and they pay me well enough for someone my age without any formal qualification but she doesn't appreciate that either, says I am w**** and that I go out not for office but to mess around with people. She is always taunting or putting up a fight with the neighbors and making up stories..the worst part is that we have see everything and it's been going on since last 10 years!!!! it only gets worse. she ruined my college, my elder brother's college, my dad's career(she used call his acquaintances and say stuff to them, call them names, abuse them and say that my dad his messed around with their sisters!!). Obviously, dad's partner's refused to work with him, he lost everything he had. I was probably 10 or 9 when we suffered a major crisis financially, and she is just not ready to accept the fact that her parents and her family(my parents married against their will, so they were disowned, we've even been threatened, but when dad was alive, nobody even dared to touch us but it's been a year and horrible things have been happening) do not like us and will never accept us.
When her family got to know about my dad's untimely death, they organised a party cum reunion and were actually happy that he was gone. and She keeps talking how great how parents and relatives are!! those people literally they were celebrating my Dad's death!!!! they'll rot!!
not just that, she refused to pay for my college and I was already halfway through!!! And my dad was over the top when he saw my published articles in the magazine I was working with(as an intern feature writer), she never appreciated. and now, here I am with no degree but I don't resent that..I resent that it was my own mother who flushed the golden opportunity of my life down the toilet.
My elder brother, he wanted to marry his girlfriend, dad was ready but she refused, eventually she had to marry someone else[parental pressure!!!](This is the INDIA!!!!!!!! nation of crazy, freaky parents who crack up and then take it out on their kids. idjits!!)
And now here she is..ruining our lives..I am literally waiting when is she gonna go away..Not Like I hate her...I have only grown to despise myself that I was born into this crappy family..she was somebody else 10 years back..It is like, everything is over, dad's gone, my career is in the toilet, i have got a 12 year old kid brother who just doesn't listen to anyone, he is careless, doesn't give a darn about his studies, his clothes, or even his own life.
I feel stuck. sometimes, i wonder If could just kill myself but then it's just a thought i don't want to. I want to live, honestly I do. It's just my mother, I don't know what to do with her delusions, her strange stories, she doesn't even believe that we are her kids anymore. There are no savings left..she spoiled Dad's business, we relocated because she had made it literally turned all the neighbours against us saying we torture her while we never even thought so...she is doing the same here..arguing with people and telling them that they are conspiring against her...dude!! why would anyone do so..they barely know us..!!my Dad's family too..they are family but act like we are terrorists..no one gives a darn..And again, in the end, I wish my life was over..Maybe, I also develop her crazy mental situation since it runs down her family, her sisters committed suicide cuz of that. Can you give me an answer to all of this???
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