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Can you advise a strategy for getting over this?

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I was in an abusive relationship for 2.5 years. Problems included:

- Frequent breakups or threats of breaking up (45 times in all; about once every two weeks)
- Constant degradation (e.g., insulting me because I didn't make as much money as her)
- Humiliation (e.g., making fun of me in front of friends and mocking me on Facebook)
- Taking her bad days out on me
- Inability to communicate my relationship problems (if I came to her with a problem she would immediately break up with me)
- Reminders that I was lucky to have her but that she could find a better boyfriend downtown tonight
- Questioning my sexuality when I was uninterested in sex or underperforming in the bedroom
- Threats of cheating on me

Eventually she cheated on me. A year later I am unable to get her out of my mind.

Because my ex and her best friend questioned my sexual orientation, I am finding it difficult to pursue women. I am straight but feel weak as a man.

Can you advise a strategy for getting over this woman?


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replied August 8th, 2011
Troubled and Abusive Relationships Answer A25821
Hello,

Welcome to the ehealthforum and I am really glad to help you out. Your concern is regarding the anxiety that you have in pursuing women because of your past horrible experience. It seems that you are having social phobia.

In this there is persistent fear of performance situations in which embarrassment may occur. It may be related to social anxiety also. You can benefit from joining a self-help or support group and communicating with them. Stress management techniques, cognitive behavior therapy , family support and meditation also helps in overcoming this anxiety. If the symptoms are severe then it is advisable to consult a psychiatrist.

It is very difficult to precisely confirm a diagnosis without examination and investigations and the answer is based on the medical information provided. For exact diagnosis, you are requested to consult your doctor. I sincerely hope that helps. Take care.




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