Hey there. You are brave for doing what you are doing. I am not Bipolar, but I do deal with bouts of depression now and then. If you want to chat with me that's fine. I try to check this site often to see if I have any messages, but sometimes am not able to do so. So forgive me in advance if I am a little late on anwsering back. You can private message me if you want, that way it's easier to see if I have a response. Take care! =)

Thank-you so much for your reply. I am sorry this is a little late as I am usually just about all night. Things have not been going well for me lately. My cycles are more often for some really bad reason and I can not put my finger on it. Only thing that I really can trigger is I did watch (what was to me as a Bipolar) a very up and down tear jurking movie this past week and it put me right into a downslide and I really don't think I have recovered from it yet. I think the only people right now that can put up with me are my precious friends on this board. And to be quite honest, I would not blame them a bit if they are not up to thier necks with me yet. It has just been this past month that I have felt it coming. The movie being what put me over the edge. It is hard for me because, I have always been the one that has been strong for everyone else. And able to give some fairly good advice when it comes to BPD and Anxiety. Spent 30 years in city of darkness. I have gotton out before and I will get out again. I just after so long now, find myself in tears for no reason at all. One word, one look or one thought will do it for me. My health has not been the best, finding out just this weekend now I can add one more item to my list. Don't get me wrong, I have no bad thoughts and have not for a while. My son and I are both BP and we both kinda keep ourselves supportive. It is very hard when you are both in the downslope and have to be the strong one. And dealing with this also as a career does not help. 23 years in health care, 4 of which were mental health. My slogan always was when I had a "one to one" with a client, "If there is one word , out of a session that has hit this person, then I have done my job". There are a few of us here on the board that either are, going into or have been in the field. I guess it is just to hard for me after so many wonderful rewarding years, to have to retire due to health and be on this side of the fence now with my own health going down fast.

Sorry so long winded and thank-you for listening,
Carrie

Don't worry about it! I think that you are being strong to deal with your own BP and your son's. Maybe sometimes you are being too strong? It's okay every once in awhile to give in and want somebody else to be strong for you, you can't do it all on your own. About watching the movie that sort of pushed you over the edge, I have a few suggestions that may help or may just sound silly. I am 24, and I know that I'm not a kid anymore, but sometimes doing things that remind me of that happy carefree time make me feel a whole lot better and pull me out of that depression slump. (Sorry if it sounds silly) but I like to watch some of my favorite Disney movies, or cartoons, anything that is happy and doesn't make you worry or think about what's sad in this world. I like to draw or paint, and yes, I'll admit it, I still like to color every once in awhile! I know, it may sound weird, but it is what makes me happy and releases stress and sadness too. You may have things like this that you can do. Watch a HAPPY movie, don't give in to the need to see something sad, don't give in to the need to listen to sad music or engage in sad/depressing conversation topics, etc.
Also, don't worry about leaving the health profession! From the sound of it you have helped a lot of suffering people, it's your time to be helped now. Maybe in a small weird way it is better for you too because you won't be around people who are also suffering and making you think of your own suffering.
I hope that you start to feel better soon. Write back if you feel you need to or want to.

im really glad you are doing this its important to talk about things and maybe help some one along the way i know you read my response to a question i answered about bi polar and my husband is bi polar and we have been together for 5 years now and i was just wondering do you have those out burst where you are mean to someone if so do you know when its coming or do you not realize it i know my husband says he dont know he is mean til after words and then hes sorry sometimes thats hard for me to just push aside you know i just feel like he uses it for a way to keep me from being mad but im not sure. my brother has bi polar and he isnt like that as much as my husband is. i think he might just push it a little far sometimes

That is just how I was with my last husband and now I have lost him forever. If I had it to do alll over again, knowing as much about my disorder as I do know, things would have been much diferent and maybe still together. I know he still loves me deep down and I feel the same. But, it is over. I must move on with my life.

When I went through my divorce I was sad for months, I cried all of the time, and it took forever to get the medication right. Now I feel like I am numb and don't get sad any more. I have since remarried so I am happy for that. I am currently on Geodone.

Carrie, the start of the school year is just around the corner. I can feel the anxiety of the stress with school and my children. My 10 year old has bipolar disorder and so does my 5 year old. Both will be in school this year. Last school year was not good. The school social worker called incessantly about my son's behavior and inability to control himself. I have gone to the school and discussed options for them to help Ian. The social worker is convinced that Ian is manipulating the situation and can control himself if he chooses but doesn't want to comply. I argue this with her to no avail. Am I out of my mind to believe he is not being manipulative? Any insight would be helpful.

Well I got to admit that it was not too far of a stretch to be manipulative when I was young and seeing multiple counselors. But I never lied to them, I needed the medication I was on, kids will try to take advantage if you give them room to do so. I think that is a given.

If he is still acting up then maybe his medications need to be re-adjusted.