I think you should go and see a grief counsellor. You most probably have not been able to come to terms with the death of your family member. Alternatively speak with you GP and he might have some advice or suggestions for you.

Hope you manage to get some help.

i would go see a therapist, if you dont feel a good connection with the thearapist get a new one you need someone who you feel understands you and can help.
my friend just committed suicide a few months ago and her parents are devistated and so are her friends. if anything, think of your parents and friends people do care even if you feel like they dont. you do matter to people.
stay strong.
with love.

Ive had to deal with this my self and how I got over it was just knowing that there is life after death so it's not that bad to die...One of my fav movie quotes "nothing ever truly dies. The Universe wastes nothing. Everything is simply, transformed."

"life is an hourglass to whether our mission in life is done or not. If we're still alive, then it isn't."