can't seem to move on....could use any advice

So me and my ex-girlfriend have been separated for a few months now and I just can't seem to move. Its safe to say I got way to attach to her. I miss her so much. I thought time would make a difference but I feel the same way just as if she had left yesterday. We went through a lot and I just can't figure why it was so easy for her to just walk away. I remember when we first met she was so into me and in the end she broke up with me via her cellphone. i felt so betrayed and abandon. Its funny b/c when I wasn't that into her she was in love with me but it seems when i started getting real feelings for her she kind of got scare. I told her i loved her and she told me I needed to be with someone who wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with them...She was the first and only person I ever loved so naturally when she decided to break with me I acted a bit stupid...i said a lot of bad things about her and her mom( i know it was wrong to do so but in the state that i was in i had no control over my emotions and just let everything out and that gave her a real reason to never talk to me). I have tried contacting her serve times to apologize but she won't have anything to do me...i asked her serve times if we could just be friends but i have yet to get any kind of feedback from her at all...The more i try contacting her and the fact that she doesn't make an effort to have communication with me just makes me feel like "crap" ..I try not to think about her but the more i do that the more i end up thinking about her...her face is burnt into memories...that said i have found it to be hard to concentrate on my school work...i lost a lot of weight and gained a few bad habits...I find that smoking makes me not think about her as much but thats only a temp fix b/c i can't smoke all the time lol...i feel very depressed .. i tried talking to my friends and they all say i should try to meet someone else but I'm still a bit shaken up and I'm really have confidence issues about myself...i need to move on but don't know how...I even tried praying to god but i haven't seen any results from that(my moms advice)...i have this empty feeling inside of me that i can't get rid of and it makes it really hard for me to do my daily activities...but u guys know what makes me really depress is the fact that i know that she doesn't miss me at all and all she has been doing is partying..we almost had a baby together but decided to get an abortion b/c we were to young but that was a mistake that i will regret for the rest of my life..i miss my baby so much.. i would do anything just to hear her voice again but i can't afford to make myself vulnerable again just to be ignored like a complete and total stranger..i don't think i could handle that again so i erased her number from my phone, deleted her pictures and videos too...but I'm still holding onto some of the voicemails she left me..sad isn't it? I sick of feeling worthless just bc a girl doesn't want to be with me anymore but its not that easy....i had no idea falling in love with her would be the biggest mistakes of my life... i need help guys