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Can't make any girl friends

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This is really depressing me. And no I am not gay. I have a lot of guy friends, but I have absolutely zero friends that are girls. I was recently overweight at 230 lbs, but have lost over 50 lbs and I am now 178. I figured it was my weight. I was wrong. I still don't have any friends that are girls. Honestly, I am a nice person. I don't find myself particulary boring either. I play football for the high school, I play guitar, I have a good sense of humor but I just can't attract any girls. I am by no means perfect, but you would think I would have at least one girl friend. I really don't know what to do. I always be myself, and the only way girls talk to me is if we are partnered up for a group assignment Sad
Now I don't want to just attract girls, I want to be friends with them. I have never experienced the feeling of being a friend with a girl. I am not the most attractive guy, but I am not ugly. I keep telling myself im not a bad person..but I just don't know anymore..Why don't girls talk to me??? Please someone help me..
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replied May 10th, 2009
Hi thereee...
'i keep telling myself im not a bad person..but i just don't know anymore'..well you should know! Never doubt that there is something wrong with you, or that you're not good enough because that's not true. I know where you're coming from because once upon a time, not very long ago i was a very shy person. I'm a girl and i didn't have ANY guy mates. Lol, i used to get really shy infront of them and it's like my mind would just go completally blank if a guy talked to me! That didn't exactly help my self esteem. My confidance levels dropped and i started avoiding any social events or gatherings where there would be guys!

However, things started to change when i got a job, there were like 3 guys that worked there (you can imagine how daunting it as for me on the first day lol), i was forced to talk to them because of work and all. But as i talked to them, even though it was just because of work and not because we were actualy friends..i started becoming more confidant around them..and any other guy that i met.

Ok enough of my boring life stry lol, back to you..basically all i'm saying is,because you haven't actualy got yourself to try talking to a girl before (unless it was to do with work when you get into groups and all), you have created this 'barrier' in your mind which is preventing you from interacting with girls confidantly.

No problemo! The more you think about it, the more it'll get to you nd the worse it'll seem.
Next time you get into a group where there are girls, start a conversation with them. I know this may feel awkward, but a simple question will start a great convo..and make you friends instantly! Don't think of them as just girls...think of them as a friend, just like how you feel when you are with your guy mates. Sooo next time you get into a grou, ask a girl something about the work/assignment, and ask her a question in order to start a convo..now don't get worked up about what to ask her! What's your name? So where you from? Make a joke about the work..anythingg! trust me it'll work.
Hope i helped!
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replied May 17th, 2009
shahenaj
Hey I would just like to say thanx for the last comment, its even shed some light for me too!
Cheers babs, wish I could have as much as a positive attitude as you lol Smile
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replied October 28th, 2010
Thank you for the great question. I struggled with that for a long time as well. But things turned around for me.Smile The first thing you need to realize is that your not broken. Everyone struggles with this at one point or another. It's part of growing. Just focus on having fun. Join some groups that interest you. People are just as nervous of being friends with you as you are them. Dont try to be someone else, it is a waste of who you are.

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