Medical Questions > Relationships > Single and Struggling Forum

Can't just be happy.

I had been dating a guy for about 4 years.. I broke up with him about 3 months ago because I found out he had been cheating on me and lying to me for most of the time that we were together. We had been living together for about 6 months prior to that, so it was a really rough breakup.. Now I am starting to feel like I'm okay to go out and date, but I've gone on a couple and both times they got all clingy and wanted to hang out more, (ie. calling or texting me about seeing each other again THE NEXT DAY). It made me REALLY uncomfortable and completely turned off, so I just wanted to avoid them after that.. I truly want to be able to date someone, but it seems like as soon as a guy shows interest in me, whether I found them attractive to begin with or not, it freaks me out.. Is this a common problem when dealing with a breakup that will go away over time??
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replied July 5th, 2009
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Yes, you probably just need to give yourself more time. When the right guy comes along you will know it and you won't mind that he is texting or calling you the next day. It takes a little time to mend a broken heart, especially if you were cheated on. You probably have your guard up and a little afraid of being hurt again. You will be fine, just give yourself some time. If you meet a guy you like the best thing for you to do right now is to let him know you have just ended a relationship and all you want is friendship right now. If he really likes you he will respect that and stick around and who knows what can eventually happen. The best relationships start out with friendship. Good-luck!
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replied July 6th, 2009
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some other poster had this problem, she felt as though she has been hurt so much that she push guys away. you say you feel okay to date, but do you have a lack of trust in men.

it's been two years since i've separate with my ex and we was living together also. i still have a problem with trusting men. i had to deal with my ex being confused for five years of our relationship. one month he loves me and want to get married, the next month he thinks he's missing out on the single life.
my new boyfriend does a good job with dealing with my baggage.
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