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Can't get hard or stay hard at 18

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Erection problems at 18?! Ok so this is my story also know as the worst thing ever ): anyway here's the story, so about 5 months ago I could get an erection whenever I wanted to, I've been masturbating since about 16 and about 2-3 times a day if I felt in the mood. But then I got a girlfriend about 4 months ago and things have changed, we were dating and I would still masturbate and everything was good. Then one night she gave me head for the first time, I felt my penis wasn't as hard as usual and just played it off thinking it was all in my mind. Then about 3 months ago we were going to have sex for the first time at her house and my penis just wouldn't get hard, I felt so shamed and like a loser. She said it's ok and we can do it again another time. I said ok and went home, I then thought I should masturbate to see if I was just nervous around her. I couldn't seem to get my penis past maybe 50% hard. I have now cut off masturbation completely hoping my erection would return, it hasn't ): Now it's been a full 5 months since the first incident, some positive things are when I'm with my girlfriend sometimes I get hard for a while but lose it after about 5-10 minutes of foreplay, and sometimes I get some pre cum (which doesn't seem good because I didn't even get close to cumming). Also some time at night I wake up with a strong erection but it goes away once I realize I have one because all I do is think it's going to do is just go limp. Some mornings as well I wake up hard or semi hard. I really don't know what's going on with me, I'm too scared to tell my parents I need to see an urologist, and I'm also very healthy, I play basketball, I had a perfect physical And my blood pressure is fine. This is the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened in my life and it has completely taken over my thoughts. It's all I think about now and it might just be making things worse, I hope someone knows what's wrong with me, any and all advice is appreciated. I've been contemplating suicide lately, If I can't satisfy the girl I love, and I can't raise a family what's the point of dealing with this forever? I don't want to lose this girl over this, please someone help me!!!!!! )': I can't do anything to get fully erect, it comes randomly for about 5 minutes and then I'll think I'm ok again, so I go to masturbate just to see if I can get it all the way up and I just can't!!!!
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First Helper chris1993
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replied January 29th, 2011
Whatever you do, don't kill youself over something like this. Being 18 and killing yourself would just be a tragedy for you and your family and friends. I am 17 and actually have had this same problem and had the same situation. My girl got to where she was going to let me have sex with her, went over to her house just me and her and I couldn't get hard. I felt just as bad as you but I researched and everything to help me out and now I wanna help you out. Before you go to see her, make sure you have some energy and not tired and sleepy. Even running around for about 5 minutes will get your blood pumping and easier to get hard later on. Drinking too much caffine can have bad affects but drinking maybe half of a mountain due 10-15 minutes before trying stuff with her will help you get hard. I see that you posted this over a month ago but I just felt the need to try to help someone out. Well tomorrow I get to be with her again alone and I am going to give it another try, wish me luck and good luck to you.
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User Profile
replied February 9th, 2011
Experienced User
Some sex therapists have claimed that if a man's erection is not firm enough to allow penetration, then a man has erectile dysfunction - or, in common language, an erection problem.
Obviously the prevalence of erection problems gets older as men age - with the exception of problems that are due to performance anxiety among younger men, whose erection difficulties tend to be more transient and short-lived, being caused by sexual and personal circumstances (i.e. over-excitement, anxiety about the partner, fear of discovery, and so on) rather than health or medical issues such as age-related diabetes or circulation problems.

This kind of erection failure is rather simple to explain: it is an anxiety-based response. Anxiety can effectively turn off the sexual response in young men because it is a product of the activity of the sympathetic nervous system, which opposes the sexual responses controlled by the parasympathetic nervous system. In effect, therefore, one can say that over-arousal is the cause of many young men's erection problems, though this refers more to emotional arousal than sexual arousal. Paradoxically, over-arousal can also cause premature ejaculation: the essence of both problems is that a man's normal sexual response has been over-ridden by his anxiety.

The irony here is that anxiety - fear, worry, call it what you will - about losing your erection actually stimulates a man's level of nervous system activity so that he is actually somewhat more likely to lose it!
Please feel free to private message me if you have any further questions or concerns.
Colin2011
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replied February 27th, 2012
I need help and I'm scared to tell my parents and my gf and I just don't know what to do
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replied August 27th, 2011
try MSPF.
I think u guys should just try using MSPF or Stay Erect.
I think it will help u guys out from embarrasment, it work for so i think it will work for you guys too.
Trust me!
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replied February 12th, 2012
i have this same problem.
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replied February 12th, 2012
ive had the same problem , but im 16 right now. ever since my girlfriend was about to let me bone her. we were about to have sex then i could not acheve anerection. most embarrasing thing in the world.I neeed help. This is killing me. i broke up with my gf cause of this, i could not satisfy her even when she was butt naked infront of my face!!!!
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replied February 23rd, 2012
To all these guys having this issue, I'll call it an issue because it isn't a problem. I'm 44 and have a syndrome called xxy which basically means I am a male with an extra X chromosome. I have naturally low testosterone and need injections every 3 months, my testicles haven't increased in size since I was 13, I am clinically sterile and also have ertile dysfunction.

I now have a great partner and have learned over the course of my life that getting an erection or boner as someone suggested isn't all it is cracked up to be. Learn to satisfy your partner through oral and manual stimulation first. Aka digital penetration and oral sex.
This will seem strange for some males, but focus on allowing your partner to climax before you! Think about stimulating her with your fingers and mouth. My partner and I joke I have a bionic tongue, engage in a bit of role play. If she is a good woman/girl she will understand. But you have to be upfront with her and explain your fears and what is happening for you, if you don't she will think it is her.

Talk it out with her and if she doesn't support you then you would be better off without that person in your life.
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replied August 14th, 2013
I'm meeting with my doctor today for the same situation :/
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replied August 14th, 2013
I'm 25. Had trouble sometimes when I was having sex with a new partner. Spoke to my doctor, who said it probably not physical and to be more communicative to be more relaxed. Found someone's Viagra pills they left behind, and decided to try one. Problem solved, and no side effects. Went back to MD, and was given tadalafil from indgeneric.com (because it's in the formulary) and it works great too. I take half a 20 mg pill.
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