Wow I sure wish I had a concrete answer for you. Are you maybe overconfident? I don' think your being Indian has much if any to do with it. How do girls react to you, just in general conversation? Do they talk or do you do all of it? (o; Okay why are you the center of attention at parties? Do you get really loud? Drink a lot? See your not painting a wonderful picture of yourself. I am though reading between the lines. It is difficult to tell what you are like by this post. Do you have male friends? Or a female friend? Have you asked people,some that you can trust if there is something you may be missing? I mean you could be overbearing. You don't sound shy at all. Maybe you seem unapproachable? I can't spell sorry. Are you against being with someone who is also Indian? Or do you feel that you should be with someone with your same background. You kind of seem to not be sure what you really want . Like a date? Marriage? etc.... You have time. I wish I was your age and was able to do things differently. I could gulp be your mother arghhh. Sorry it hits me sometimes.
do the girls flirt back? Okay here are a few maybe off the wall thoughts.
Do you shower and use deoderant?
Care for teeth?
Dress decently?
Keep your hair nice?
Are you chauvanistic?
so much more.
tell more about yourself, not your popularity quotant though. You never said how you feel.
Nice to meet you!!!!

I'm sorry if i came off as overconfident. I only meant that im not shy around girls. I like to think of myself as approachable. When it comes to what type of relationship i want, i really want one that lasts. To me, there's no point in dating a girl just for the heck of it. The only thing i would say im shy about is asking a girl out. That is mostly because im afraid of rejection. I asked a girl out about a year ago and she said i wasn't her type. That sort of hurt but i didn't worry too much about it. What i am worried about is being able to tell if a girl likes me or not. Sometimes it feels like i have a bit of a hard time distinguishing flirting from being very friendly. And, yes, i do all of those things, i shower, my hair is nicely trimmed and brushed, im not chauvanistic at all, and i dress pretty well and my clothes are always fresh and washed so personal hygiene could not be it. Sometimes i even get compliments that i smell good. That makes me feel good but, again, i don't know what the problem is. And thank you for taking time to respond to this!!

Unfortunately, especially when you're young, it isn't always easy to tell if someone likes you. Girls are just as afraid of rejection as you are. If she lets you know she likes you and you don't do anything about it, she'll feel rejected. So instead, a lot of girls play games (especially when there immature).

If the last time you asked a girl out was a year ago, that's your problem. I know fear of rejection is difficult to get over, but you will have to if you want to start asking people out. Rejection will hurt, but when you find the right girl, it will be worth it. Start out casual. Ask the girl if she wants to go for coffee or something like that.

Also, since you have a lot of female friends, ask them for advice and if they have any friends they could set you up with.

You seem like a really nice guy and if you keep at it, you will find a girl to appreciate that. Just don't get discouraged.

P.S. if you use cologne or something like that (since some people say you "smell good"), you may want to stop. For some girls, that is a huge turn-off.

Bruv I am going be really frank with you, Indian guys have a bad rep, you see and hear people (not naming any races) disrespecting us all the time, I have seen, heard it and felt it.

The girls who are non-Indian who would date us get teased by their friends a lot of the time.


Just remember I am your colour and I think you are beautiful, if you dont achieve what you want, just move forward (fresh start), reject the negatives and embrace the positives.

I am a paki 4 life

when i was in the dating scene years ago, i had a dry spell in my early 20's, so i called the local hot line and meet a lot of nice people. i m also on myspace for friends. this way who responds to you, see's your picture. you dont have any indian friends that can hook you up with someone, or you can hang out with them to make more friends. you have to put yourself out there in a different enviroment.

"The only thing i would say im shy about is asking a girl out. That is mostly because im afraid of rejection. I asked a girl out about a year ago and she said i wasn't her type."

That's your problem right there buddy. If you want a girlfriend you kind of have to ask her out. Girls will rarely ever ask you out you have to do it yourself. Even if she really likes you she probably won't ask you out still. Don't be afraid to get rejected. Everyone gets rejected unless your like Brad Pitt or something. You want to know something the guys I know who get the most girls are the guys who get rejected the most. You heard me they get rejected the most....because they ask out the most girls. They are not afraid to get rejected. They brush it off and move on. You are not going to get every girl. Nobody does. It's a numbers game. If you approach 100 girls chances are that one of them will bite even if you are the worst looking guy ever not saying you are but just in general. It's like fishing some days you get catches and other days you come home empty handed. That's life. Once you over come the fear of rejection then you can start getting girls. On a side note too you couldn't be that confident if you can't ask a girl out. I think you are setting yourself up to fail from the beginning. If you are really confident you wouldn't be thinking negatively you would ask her out expecting her to say yes and if she doesn't her loss move on to someone else. I know a lot about this because I was just like you. I could talk to females and even flirt pretty well but when it came to asking them out I would get nervous and tell myself excuses not to. She must have a boyfriend or she wouldn't go for me and so forth. Knock it off. Tell yourself that you are the f***ing man and go out and get that girl. I didn't start getting dates and girls until I learn to stop doubting myself. So stop doubting yourself. If you don't ask a girl out you have no chance of getting her. Where as a guy who does ask out girls and gets rejected is still way closer to getting a girl then you are.

Hey reallyconfused1
You're just in a bad position for dating. Most women want to date someone their age or older until their late-30s or early 40's. As you get older your appeal will grow wider to women. I don't think your race is really that much of an issue but it wouldn't hurt to emphasize how immersed you are in american culture to make you more accessible to American women.

Okay really confused1:

Like Robinfaith, I cannot give you a concrete answer either, but never fear, a philosopher is here to save you. Based on the frequency with which people have sex all over the world, the probability that you are having sex right now is 1 in 25. However, if your situation is the same as it was when you posted, your probability of having sex right now is closer to 0. Let me back up a step. Why am I talking about sex? Well frankly, it's the one thing in a guy that every woman wants, or is mentally ill if she doesn't. Don't be afraid of it. Don't be afraid to talk about it. Do we fear anything else that feels as good as it does? Furthermore, do you want a girl who doesn't like talking about sex? You'll get laid once every couple of weeks or so. Not worth it IMHO. You need to get out there and put the move on women you meet, or they'll end up being "just friends." Now, the odds are stacked against you. Approximately 25 to 1 against. So, what that means is that if you ask out no more than 50 women, one of them is almost certain to say yes. I would say 25, but this is something called the "gambler's fallacy." Look it up if you're interested." Here's why that's important. You ARE going to get rejected unless you're an extraordinarily lucky man. But if the women you pursue reject you, aren't they saving you the trouble of having to reject them down the road? Think about it. Of course to have sex with women, you have to get them thinking about sex first, and the best way to do that is with romance. A word of caution here. Don't try to be romantic with your lady friends. I could imagine that if I had a good friend that started trying to make advances to me I would at the least feel uncomfortable. If you're lucky in this situation, you might have sex, but you won't have a girlfriend. Also, girlfriends are not something that come over night. You will need to put at least a couple of months of effort into this. Get her to think romantic and sexual thoughts. How? Well, I'll bet you're thinking about romance and sex right now. I've raised some questions about it in your mind. That's it. No tricks, no games, no machismo. Just be yourself and be romantic. When people ask me what philosophers do, I often reply, "we tell people what they should do, and nobody listens." Of course, this is meant to be funny, but sadly, it's also truish. The truth is that very few people listen. I hope you're one of those few. I would also recommend a book, called "How To Succeed With Women." It fleshes out my points in a way that I could only do if I was more awake, and had a few hundred pages to respond. It helped me after my ex and I broke up. Good luck!