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Can't Achieve An Orgasm During sex no matter What I Do

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Ok so I'm sure I'll probably get some kind of negative feedback about this, even though I'm hoping not to. I'm 19 and a lesbian, I lost my virginity to my girlfriend 4 months ago..obviously with a dildo and strap-on. Since then, we've been having sex a lot, I just can't achieve an orgasm...even during oral. Don't get me wrong I love the sex we have, we both really enjoy It, I just really feel like we would both enjoy sex so much more If I could orgasm. I've tried everything when it comes to focusing/concentrating on It, It just doesn't happen. When I have the time, I do touch myself and try to get myself to orgasm, the problem Is, I've never had an orgasm before so I don't know what It's supposed to feel like. If anyone has any Ideas or suggestions, please let me know... Thanks so much!
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replied December 24th, 2011
Community Volunteer
Your primary sex organ is your clitoris, not your vagina. So stimulating that is very important for your orgasms. Just the strap-on or dildo will obviously not give your clitoris much stimulation. During oral it should however get you enough stimulation, provided she spends enough time and effort there.

Sexual arousal is the the build up of stress, tension and energy in your groin muscles, upper legs, pelvis and genitals. This build up happens to the point where it becomes unbearable and agonizing (in a good way) for you. An orgasm happens when you get pushed over the 'edge', your brain go into a trance for a few seconds and gives your body the chance to release and expel the stress, tension and energy in a few seconds of rhythmic contractions with heat radiating outwards from your genitals. This s incredibly pleasurable, and it can cause shaking and involuntary clasping and movements in your body. At orgasm time, hormones are released into your brain and blood, making you happy, content and wanting yo bond with your partner.

Did you tell your partner that you do not orgasm? She is an expert and I am sure that if she knows, she can take the extra love and care to get you there as well. She also knows how an orgasm feels, and she can tell you much better than writing it down here. Make use of her knowledge.

The main question that should be answered is why you stop stimulating yourself when you masturbate. Stopping is obviously not getting you there, where continuing will most likely get you there. Over and above the concentration and thought processes you must also allow your body to tense up and store the energy. Giving your legs something to do can help. Pump them open and closed, make them stiff and lift your behind off the bed/floor by supporting yourself on your arms/shoulders and heels (make a 'bridge'), squeeze a pillow between your knees, sit on your knees and support your body weight with your upper legs and thigh muscles. Once you know how to orgasm by yourself, it should be much easier during sex.

Best of luck!
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replied December 28th, 2011
Thanks so much!
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replied December 29th, 2011
you need to stimulate your citoris and your g-spot at the same time. next time your girlfriend gives you oral, have her insert one or two fingers as deep inside you as she can. then she will need to rub the upper wall of your vagina wear the g-spot is in a "come here" motion with her fingers, slowly and softly at first, and after a few minutes harder and faster. it can take a fair amount of preasure to work right, and she has to be able to find your g-spot. it should feel raised from the upper wall slightly. while she is doing this with her fingers have her lick your clitoris back and forth up and down fast and slow hard and soft switching speed and intensity often until you reach orgasm. if you have never had an orgasm before, this technique will make you feel like you need to urinate at first, but within ten to thirty minutes you will most definatly start to feel yourself climax. If done right it works every time!
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