Oh, Sweetie! I don’t know why you are asking this question.. You know what to do. You have to leave. He’s not going to change, and you are not going to be able to change him.

The only thing that is going to change is your self image and your sense of self worth. Find yourself a man that will love you, take care of you, and will appreciate you.

You are in my thoughts.

Can you give us more details? Is there someone you can talk to? If you are in the US you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). I think other countries have similar phone numbers. Here is their website: http://www.ndvh.org/

You can PM me any time if you need someone to talk to, but the best thing is to get out of there....and your kids too if you have them.

I did leave him this is a long distance relationship but he wont take no for an answer and says hes coming down here and i owe him for all the time he invested in me. my question is what should i do if he does show up here?

you took the first step by leaving. Unlike me who took 16 years with no children, Now you need to go to the law and get a restraining order on him and let him know if he breaks it he will be put in jail..

NO WAY! You don't owe him anything. He wasn't investing in you. He was using you. There is no owing about it. If anything, he owes YOU that part of your life back that he took away. Avoid him at all costs and get a retraining order.

Now hes threatening to kill himself!!

Ahh, this brings back memories. Sweetheart, do NOT let him manipulate you. This man is a coward that can only force women to stay with him by emotionally manipulating them. I know what you are going through. Cognitively one knows what he is doing, and yet one tends to entertain the possibility that he might actually go through with it.
Call a friend or family member and ask them if they could come and stay with you for a while. You need the support, and of course it will be much safer not to be alone in this time.

If he does that it's not your fault. The post above mine is so true...you don't know if that is just a manipulative move or not. But if he truly is capable of harming himself or using these extreme tactics to get you to take him back, then imagine what harmful things he is capable of once you would let him back.

Be strong and get someone to stay with you for support....I hope you are getting the warrant ok.

Has he been diagnosed with a mental illness? Personality disorders, particularily borderline personality disorder, causes individuals to have unhealthy boundaries, including threats to harm themself if you threaten to break from the relationship.

Is he a cutter? Does he have past girlfriends who he badmouths continually?

If you feel he is serious about suicide, your only option is to call the local authorities and give them that information. They police can come and take him for assessment.

I was involved in a 6 year hell with 2 children. People with asbusive tendencies usually need an enabler to justify their actions. For example- "If you wouldn't have made me so mad, I wouldn't have had to do this to you" They are basically pro's at manpulating you to believe it's "all your fault". If you wouldn't have said this,done this, then I wouldn't be mad at you and take is out on you" When in reality it is a sickness and they feed of of your enabling. Sounds crazy but it is SOOOO true. You need to get out of your situation before it escalates into something major that can't be fixed. I hope that this helps you out some. I would also like to say god bless and you're in my prayers. Good luck!

They always do hun. listen to the others. Get a restraining order and be done with him. he is not your responsibility and you deserve much better.