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Busy Boyfriend, tough time in relationship

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November 16th, 2008
Hi. I've been with my bf for nearly a year now and up until now everything has been so simple. Last year he was a senior in highschool and I was a junior. We saw eachother at school and hung out on the weekends. He left for a month over the summer to go visit his family in Ukraine and when he came back we were even stronger than before which tells me that I love him and that distance doesn't change it. This year has gotten hard for me. He is going to a community college and working full time from 9pm to 8am. Our lives are complete opposites now. While I am living my life he is alseep all day. I'm trying to get used to it, but I'm very sad. We see eachother maybe 4 hours a week becuase we hang on Sunday evenings after he catches up with school. I stay in on fridays and saturdays to get my homework done so that I can see him on Sunday, but sometimes he has so much homework that only 3 or 4 hours is possible. I love him so much. Is there any advice on what i can do to get used to this? It feels like a long distance relationship and we only live 20 min away from eachother. He's just so busy, I feel like I've been left behind.
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worrywart01
replied November 18th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
This isn't uncommon, high school relationships struggle after high school is over because people find themselves at different places in their lives..all i can say is that if you both truly want it to work..then it will work..but it wont be easy at all...my boyfriend and i were long distant for 8 1/2 months when i went back to college..then he began college and got a job which kept him out late at night..believe me it was HARD trying to find time to even talk, he had school 7am-1pm and then would talk to me briefly..go get his work out in and be at work from about 4pm-1am...but,we made it through it..and 2 1/2 years later we're still together...my point is, if you really want it to work out(both of you that is) then you'll work through these hard times..and when you DO get time to spend together you dont take it for granted...it can work out, just keep your head up and try and be patient with him...hes probably stressed out from having to work full time and go to school
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Skater
replied November 18th, 2008
THanks for the advice. Ya he is pretty stressed out. I've been so focussed on trying to be strong for him that I've just forgotten to acknowledge my feelings about this to him. I finally talked to him about it and he says we will find a way. We both really want it to work. I feel like it's weird for me to be going out on the weekends when I'd rather be free to talk to him when he wakes up, but I think I need to force myself to have more of a life so I can be happy too.
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Wisdom0229
replied May 7th, 2010
yes, I go through the same thing. I am a junior in high school, and my boyfriend is in college. I met him during winter break and since he was not that busy with school and work, we got to talk alot. I then became sad because it felt as if he was talking to me less and less. I asked him why he doesnt text and call me and he says its because he is extremely busy with work and school. He lives about 30 minutes away. I do agree. If its meant to be then nothing will pull the relationship apart. I only get to see him on either saturdays or sundays, but I know it will only get better. Smile
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Wisdom0229
replied May 7th, 2010
Also, when you date long distance like that, people seem to get doubtful because they can't see the person a lot of the time. You have to always think positive no matter what. Just because your boyfriend can't talk to you, doesn't mean he doesn't want to. The weekeneds will always come so you guys can hang out
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