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Bulimia turning anorexia

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Hey i am in my 20's. I had Bulimia since i was 16...and it had been such a difficult struggle for me. Recently i went to a program that treats you from your Eating DIsorders by force feeding you 3 normal meals and 2 snacks a day and you pretty much had to spend the whole day there. ANd i gained over 20lbs in the program. I was forced to leave the program pre-muturely because i was late for a number of times. RIght now sitting at a weight 20lbs heavier...i am just so stressed out and desperate, I am restricting again and overexercising...wanting to lose that weight. I am so afraid that i've messed up my metabolism so much. The weight i've gained never went away, and i even started to gain weight when i started over-exercising and restricted, can someone tell me what is my body doing? I even consider now of developing anorexia and stop eating completely...just so i dont stay at this weight...
I don't know what to do...i feel desperate...i feel that i am getting worse....
can someone help me?
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replied October 9th, 2009
I can't help you because I'm struggling with ED also, but, you can't purposely choose to develop anorexia. trust me. you can try stop eating all you like but eventually you will get so hungry you will binge all out.. go back to purging or exercising whatever.. and start the cycle again. stick to the diet plan your program would have suggested.. your metabolism needs to find the 'set point', and where it adjusts naturally, and, eating the right diet will neither gain or lose weight
if you really want to lose the extra pounds FIND that diet and reach the set point, then think about incorporating some healthy levels of exercise. health and happiness over the struggles.
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