Please help me!!!
Hi my name is caitlin. I started throwing up more than 3 years ago... I suffer from I think a form of anerexia as well. Eating has controlled my life and body and ruined my teen years. I can''t stop and when things are really bad for me its way worse and my days are consumed with eating and vomiting. I havent told anyone but when I was younger and living at home my family caught on. Its so embarrassing and so expensive. When i''m having a horrible day and my roommate is gone, i rade the kitchen and eat till im sick and throw up just afterwards for 20 minutes or so. I dont want o go o a doctor about this cause I think it would be harder to tell someone in person just how sick I am. Yes i hate my body but I know how to eat healthy and exercise, I just cant keep with it till I wanna binge and throw up. This is not helping me lose weight but GAIN weight. What is it that I am sooo addicted to it? How can I get help other than a doctor? Please someone who has recovered from bulimia HELP ME! Are there small things you can do to stop this? I''m so scared I''ll never recover but I feel like I did this to myself...and I have done this to myself. The feeling after i throw up is such a relaxed good feeling though...am i just addicted to the feeling afterwards?or do I really love food THAT much that I just consume and consume on occations???PLEASE Help
Hi Caitin. I can 100% understand how you are feeling. You feel like you are so completely out of control and that you will never get your life back. I have suffered from bulimia for close to 10 years now and am here to tell you that you can get better. You can get your life back, be happy and not let food control your whole world. It sounds like you are really wanting to get better and that is the first step. While I understand you not wanting to see a doctor of course I have to recommend you do. It helped me so much! It seems scary but this is what these people are there for, they will not judge you. In regards to you thinking that you are just obsessed with food...that is not the case. You are numbing feelings or emotions that you don't know how to deal with. You are self medicating. These are things you will learn in therapy. You will discover why you do these and things and learn the tools you need to overcome this addiciton/disease. Anyway, I am rambling. I actually have just started a blog documenting my progress in my recovery if you want to check it out lovinbuttah.blogspot.com... it's new so there isn't a ton to it yet. My email address is on there as well if you would like more advice from me or you could always write me through this site. Please don't hesitate to reach out. Take care of yourself.