I am very sorry that you are going through this - 22 is far too young for anyone to die, and it is tragic for his little son.

I think if it were me, I would just be there, sitting quietly by him and letting him know you are there if he wants to talk. Just be vigilant, watch him, be aware. But let him take the lead. When people are very ill they cannot usually cope with a great deal of talking so just be alert to what he says as there may be some attempt on his side at bridging the gap.

I should think though, that he may be feeling a little scared and confused and, as you are his sister, he may be looking to you for some comfort. Again, just listen quietly, and don't try to deny any of his fears. Maybe just being there for him will be the bridge-builder that you seek.

Galaxy is right about your brother needing support in this critical hour. I believe the mere fact that you show up will lift his spirits, because, in his condition, all the petty things between siblings disappear.

I'm sure he is scared and contemplating his mortality now and it is also an opportunity for you to show him how much you care. Unfortunately, if you do not connect with him this one last time, it may haunt you the rest of your life. I know from experience.

My younger middle brother and I were estranged from each other for over 20 years. When our father died in 2001, we got together for the first time in many years. But, we went back to our lives and then, in 2003, our whole family had scheduled a holiday together, but he couldn't attend because of work.

We missed him and I was looking forward to talking with him and mending our fences. That was in February and, before I was able to see him again, he died of a heart attack. I implore you to make the effort and let your brother know how you really feel about him.

Some siblings are not as close as others. But it does seem when death is near with one of them, the other hits reality and starts an early greeving cycle. This is normal. Say the words to him now before it is to lake. Pour out your heart with whatever you feel you would like to say to him. When he does leave this earth, you will then and only then feel you have said the words of love and compassion while he is still alive. Do it now! Peace will come to you after you do this. Believe me.

Sending prayers,
Carrie