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Q: Broken and forgotten.
asked by: tickle_me_elmo on June 15th, 2009
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I am young, only 14. But I've been through some pretty painful stuff. So about a year ago, I found this guy. He was my best friend. And we dated, and i really loved him. Maybe not "in love" with him, but I loved him just as any friend. Maybe more. But he left. Just walked away from us. Not just me, every friend he had here in our town. It killed me. Since then I've barley talked to him at all except when he calls me late at night, maybe once every three months, needing someone to lend an ear. Then he is gone once again. No sorry's or goodbyes. He's using me and I don't mind. Anyway he's moved on and is "in love" with this girl. I've dated other guys, but the pain from being dumped out of his life is too much. I can't let go of him. Me and him, we both went through a stage of depression. He never got help, I did. I'm terrifed if I turn away for good, and never talk to him on those rare nights when he "just needs a friend" he'll kill himself. But these continuous painful reminders of what could have been send me into another depression. I feel like its my happiness, or his life. And I'm willing to be sad if it keeps him ok. How can I learn to move on, and how can I tell him that I'm just starting to heal and that I cant get broken again? Any feedback is appreciated.
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JavaMissus
replied on June 15th, 2009
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You gave your answer at the end of your post..."I can't get broken again"...And you can't...

There are times in life when we have to move on...It can break our heart, but it is something that we have to do...We know when we do this that we are severing a part of our past....A part that caused us problems...A part that was sadness and worries....Something that made you confused and lonely...When you fear talking with someone because you know that no good will come out of it, you must stay away....You must grow....You have to remember how far you have gone in life and not try to save someone else...This is your life that you are talking about and your future...Honey, it is so important that you move on and forget about this person that haunts you...Only by doing this can you truly survive...He robs you of your strength...He reminds you of your yesterday....

Telling him not to call you may be the hardest thing that you ever do, but it may also be the wisest thing that you will ever do....

I send you all my love...

Caroline
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ServiceU
replied on July 2nd, 2009
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if he is this guy that is really depressed, it is a normal thing for some people in that state to cut other people out their lives.
when your depressed, you should know this, some people isolate themselves, not even thinking about who they are hurting.

you have a good heart, but sometimes we can help few but we cant save the whole world.

i dont think you should talk to him if he calls you. depressed or not he needs to know that he cant keep doing that to you.
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