Medical Questions > Womens Health > Sexual Health - Women Forum

breaking the hymen aka "Popping the cherry"

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Hey so me and my boyfriend really want to have sex, we feel like it's time and he means the world to me and I want him to be the one, but I have only ever been fingered with one finger and according to the pictures of the Hymen it is supposed to be thin and small and and break easily without pain, but mine won't break and it hurts so bad with only one FINGER I can't explain how much it hurts!!! But I don't want to be like this forever and I don't want to cause as much pain as Ive had! Please help!?!?
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replied June 7th, 2011
Community Volunteer (online)
Once you are in puberty, your hymen thickens, pulls back to the vaginal entrance rim and becomes very elastic. This is due to the estrogen surge you experience during puberty. Did you take a mirror to look at what is going on? What shape your hymen is?

You have 5 choices:

1. Leave it alone and do not have intercourse
2. Just go for it. Let him force it in. Make sure you are very well lubricated and go for it. The quicker, the better.
3. Do it yourself. Use fingers or some object that is clean and smooth and shaped like a glass coke bottle or a tapered brush handle.slowly widen it over time and tear it.
4. See a doctor where they can cut it. This option normally does not work very well with your parents if you are still a teenager.
5. Just continue to play around. It will likely stretch or tear from fingering as he becomes more adventurous.

Once it tears, use normal NSAID pain killers (advil, ibuprofen or whatever).

Remember to always be safe and protect your health and future. You are responsible for that as you will end up with a baby or STDs if you are not careful.
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replied June 8th, 2011
Experienced User
Just go for it![:
I was TERRIFIED of the same thing.
YES, It did hurt, yes it did bleed.
BUT, good sex= worth it[:
and it doesnt hurt for long anyways, just a few seconds.
No worries hun![:
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replied June 17th, 2011
Do you love your boy friend enough to marry him? Will he marry you? If a baby results, will it have both a father and mother committed enough to stay together (for life) ? Would the child get a raw deal, and have just one parent, or would you love the child enough to let it be adopted by a family? Will you tell your eventual husband he's special, or just another guy in the string of sex partners?
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replied June 20th, 2011
Experienced User
Well were trying for a baby, so yes. Both parents will be there. Both of us can support a baby, our families are here for us. And we do plan to get married. And hes my second person to ever have sex with, and I love him to death. Hes not just another person who I got laid by. Ive told him that and meant it many times.
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Users who thank FTFW for this post: kristigraham 

replied July 1st, 2011
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ THIS.I NEED HELP!Hi, I'm 14 years old and my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time last night..Well first time for me and I guess he popped my cherry, but I have been fingered once or twice before FYI(for your information). the reason why i think i have just now popped my cherry is because I happened to look in my pants when i got home after sex and i saw blood. Not as much as period blood but just a little. I dont start my period 'till about a week or so, and I would use the bathroom the day after sex I saw blood.I started dabbing with a tissue and noticed the blood was coming from my vagina.this worries me deeply but im scared to tell my parents so i started researching and found this website. Is this a sign of pregnancy or is it just the blood from my boyfriend "popping my cherry"?
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replied July 1st, 2011
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ THIS.I NEED HELP!Hi, I'm 14 years old and my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time last night..Well first time for me and I guess he popped my cherry, but I have been fingered once or twice before FYI(for your information). the reason why i think i have just now popped my cherry is because I happened to look in my pants when i got home after sex and i saw blood. Not as much as period blood but just a little. I dont start my period 'till about a week or so, and I would use the bathroom the day after sex I saw blood.I started dabbing with a tissue and noticed the blood was coming from my vagina.this worries me deeply but im scared to tell my parents so i started researching and found this website. Is this a sign of pregnancy or is it just the blood from my boyfriend "popping my cherry"?
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replied July 1st, 2011
and also he was not wearing a condom. i am not on birth control either. but we did not have sex for a long time just for about 2 minutes.and he says we were not doing it long enough for him to cum.
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replied July 2nd, 2011
Experienced User
Just because you were fingered doesnt mean your cherry is popped. Happened to me. Your cherry was probably popped even in 2 minutes of sex. Doesnt matter the time, just how deep he goes. If you dont feel comfortable telling your mom, just say you started bleeding and your scared, and you feel you need to go to the doctors.
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replied November 30th, 2011
well hello there baby cakes i just had my cherry popped to it felt good i was in love with the excessive pain and blood coming from my vagina. i wish i could do this everytime... it was orgasmic i hope it feels the same for you.. oh and a tip for the first time you have sex tell him to go extremely rough and go as deep as he can it will only make things better.
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User Profile
replied January 7th, 2013
CHERRY POPPING UNUSUALLY!
PLEASEPLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ:
so i am 13 i have started my period when i first turned 13, so i am used to it. but me and my partner had sex and after when i went to the bathroom i looked and it did not look like i had popped my cherry. but then sunday (i had sex on thursday) is it possible for my cherry to react different because when i started bleeding it was more light but there was alot so could it of been a mix of period blood and cherry popping blood? PLEASE HELP ME! i am so worried!! becuse we had trouble starting and getting it in but then i dont think he got it all the way in and right after he dashed to his room and "cleaned up" what that means i have no clue. So could it be possible that my cherry took longer then usal to react properly? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME!!!
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replied July 1st, 2013
Oh my god @kristigraham why even reply anything if you're just going to criticize. This is a form to help and guide people. Times have changed and girls and guys these days are growing up faster than we all did. Thats just the way it is. Why dont you mind your business OR just help the girl by answering her question. Better she is safe and asks questions rather than dumb about sex. And @babbypimpy if your "cherry is popped" the bleeding is pretty much instantaneous. That was probably just your period. When you first hit puberty it is likely for your period to be irregular sometimes. When I was younger mine was very irregular from 12 to about 18 or 19....it was when I reached my 20s that it finally became pretty normal.

It's also possible that when you had sex that you stretched your hymen and you may have done some kind of strenuous activity on that sunday to fully rupture it.

I definitely wouldn't worry about anything unless it continues to bleed for longer than your usual period length.
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replied July 2nd, 2013
Community Volunteer (online)
Let me answer your question:

1. The poster is clearly under age. You can see it from the sentence construction, word usage, the lack of correct anatomical terms and the lack of communication between her and her boyfriend.

2. The question does not deal with anything serious, and when it comes to hymens, there is no way of telling her what happened. The pain and blood could have been from micro tears in her vaginal opening. The hymen is not what most people think it is. Most girls cannot even identify it, and even doctors have problems identifying it. It will only bleed or be painful in about 50% of the cases. At her age and from her description, she is not done with puberty yet.

3. It is still illegal to have sex at that age. If nobody tells her and she gets pregnant, she and her partner will be in trouble. I do not see it as my task to encourage her to have sex at such an immature age. If you do not like that, speak to your minister, senator or whatever representative you have in your country and lobby to have it changed. Saying 'today ...' does not change the laws or the science these laws were based on. Until that day,this is considered rape under the law.

You can go through my 18,000+ posts and see how often I do this. You will find less than 10 where I felt that the poster was playing with fire and not ready to deal with what she was trying to do. You will find answers to 13 and 14 year old girls that showed some maturity and clearly knew what they were doing.

I am sorry, I cannot accept the premise that it is ok for an immature 13 year old to have sex. If she showed any level of maturity, it would have been different.

Personally I prefer to keep god out of the discussion, and not read motivations into other people's replies.
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replied January 7th, 2013
Community Volunteer (online)
WOW, 13 is awfully young to start having intercourse!!!

Why don't you rather do other things for a few more years.

At 13 it is against the law in most countries to have sex. It is considered to be a form of rape, even if you wanted it.
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