Bipolar Disorder Forum - BP refuses medication

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Q: BP refuses medication

asked by: Angelina353 on April 15th, 2009

New User

I could deal with screamin the cursin always did since day 1 but I cannot deal with the infidelity
. He has an extremely high sex drive/libido cheats back & forth. Most likely doesn't use protection Sad I love him more than words can ever describe. I don't know what to do.

He "loves" everyone...gets infatuated real easily. Question is, how can I prove his love towards me? considering that he is Bipolar. I cannot even have a fair argument with him. Am I just one of the many in his life? The only thing I could go by is that I know for a fact that I trigger him easily. Could this possibly be a sign that he cares for me? Somehow I always make him explode Sad I've been told that Bps tend to take out their frustration on the people they love the most. Should I go by this? Is this enough? I also know, he probably won't ever give me the type of relationship, affection I want I need, maybe because he just can't or doesn't want to.

I spoke to a psychologist once in regards to this. She stated that he is no victim. That I was the victim. Because, he is very aware that he needs meds and chooses not to take them for his advantage. He told me this once, "why should I take meds if I'm having fun"

The last thing I would like some advice on is, how if possible can I have a fair argument with him? I know it's a loose loose situation with Bps but any advice? I can never get my word across to him unless it's by email or text because once he is furious, that's it...he won't let me even talk...he will shut me up faster than a speeding bullet Smile So I tend to respond to the discussion via emails and/or text messaging. Is this okay? It's a 1 sided argument/communication like if I am being suppressed....I can say this but not that? I feel like I could never say what I really want to. I read an article stating avoiding stress would help Bps not have an episode. So here I am, disappointed at him once again he cheats gets caught but oh I must stop because if I argue with him he'll get so stressed out b/c his lil' plan didn't work but I must avoid getting him upset so how in the hell am I suppost to confront him on his cheatings? Alright, enough said, now I'm mumbling, thanks.

Above are my thoughts and feelings. Please help any advice thoughts are welcome.

Replies(5)

Agail80

replied on April 17th, 2009

New User

If the man is not doing anything to help himself why are you still around? The situation is not good for you or him. Are there kids involved? or will there be? Sweetie you have to think about your emotional safety first! This is not healthy for you in anyway. If you love yourself let him go!

Even though I am a bipolar female I do understand his side of things. (to a point) I haven't been on any medications for about 2 years now. My Husband and I can not afford it. Now I am looking into some sort of help because my issues are getting out of hand.

When I am "manic" life is just grand, wonderful, spectacular, and omg wow. Why would I want to take something to bring me down? I mean would You? The bad part of being that way is that the excitement of it all gets me into trouble either with money or something else. My Husband keep close watch on me and makes sure that I cannot 'harm' anything or anyone when I am in this state.

The other side "down side" really sucks. It is almost the same way but I do NOT want to feel this way! etc...

Bipolar gets different with age. The older you get the more you subconsciously know what you are doing. Most times you can't help what your doing or even stop doing it. It sucks to watch yourself do something and are unable to stop!!

As for the arguments, well, yes writing seems to work in most cases. It gets your point across with out all the yelling. Try not to cuss in the notes. It will just make things worse.

Notes and reminders are a great tool with bipolar people. (from what I have noticed with myself) If you think he is out cheating Text him a few words, (i love you, thinking of you, wanna play) things like that. If you think he is out wasting money Text him with little reminders of about the same things. Try not to make the situation worse by yelling. The whole money thing is very, VERY tricky. HOPEFULLY this might work!

Again, why are you with someone who abuses you like this and refuses to seek help? Maybe you also need to speak with a doctor or therapist about YOUR underlining issues.

~ AGail80

Users who thank Agail80 for this post: Angelina353

Angelina353

replied on April 17th, 2009

New User

I don't know why I take it. I've asked myself that question multiple times. He is middle age and I'm in my 30s. We both have been married, have children and don't want any from anybody period. Before I continue, I love this man dearly. Through out my life, I have fallen in love twice and he is obviously the 2nd one. Never thought I could fall in love again with so much passion and caring for another individual yet it happened. No matter what he tells me whether good or bad...just to hear from him, it makes my day Smile

Anyways, besides all the butterflies I still get from him (3yrs now) I believe I take it because it seems like everyone gives up on him...sooner or later...and I wouldn't want to be just another one giving up. I believe my love for him is strong enough to overcome his mischiefs. I know I get hurt yet as time goes by I feel like I'm resistant to his "ways." I know how to calm him down. I always somehow get around his anger. I know he appreciates me deep inside. I know he knows what he has...all the qualities in me, he has told me on moments that were not necessary. He smokes pot constantly but is very in control of his body/mind. Extremely smart guy. Can maintain jobs though gets easily bored. Very health conscious. He takes lots of supplements/vitamins/mineral & so forth...I think to try to help himself. Yet he cannot and won't do the therapy thing nor prescribe meds. He believes he has it under control. And God forbit I mention Bipolar...omg, he flips out on me yet he told me himself he was diagnosed yrs ago. He admits having Bp yet "he's not like the rest" he has it under "control." It doesn't affect him he claims yet it does Sad

I hardly if ever scream at him and this is a point I'm sure he loves. I'm a very passive woman. Very God loving. I do argue & try to get my point across as soon as I find out he cheated again. After that, I let it go. I just do it to let him know that I'm aware of it & to remind him once again that I do not accept it. Yet ironically I do cuz somehow I end up in his arms again Sad

He could be fuming while I just smile and shower him with sweetness...it's just in me, I love him so much that I just want him to calm down. Thanks again.

Heavenly4

replied on April 17th, 2009

New User

He is never gonna change unless he is on medication and seeing therapist. Life is too short to be with someone so toxic. Loving someone also means loving yourself.

Agail80

replied on April 17th, 2009

New User

Well there is always that third option. He might just be a jerk aside from his issues.

Sounds as if you are doing all you can. You are blindly in love! That is awesome!

I have nothing else to say about it all. If the man is doing things to help himself maybe you can talk to him about exactly what he is doing. Have you asked him why he does what he does? (again watch your tone when you talk about this)

Good luck!

Angelina353

replied on April 17th, 2009

New User

Thank you both for your replies. Just a few hrs ago...there was this huge confrontation with a few of his girls and myself. I think the best thing I must do and get out NOW Smile

I'm going to delete this acct as well b/c if I don't then I'll probably contact him when I read things such as "he doesn't know he don't mean it" wish me luck girls! And may God bless you all, ciao

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